Showing posts sorted by relevance for query The History of Wedding Gifts. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query The History of Wedding Gifts. Sort by date Show all posts

Thursday, September 17, 2015

The history of wedding gifts

Today most couples have a gift registry to help friends and family choose a wedding gift they both need and want, but long ago guests didn't even bring gifts. It is thought that the idea of wedding gifts stemmed from the idea of a dowry which was the price paid to a bride's family.



Wedding gifts in Medieval times

In medieval times, a dowry usually included things like land, animals, money, and other forms of wealth. This was an ancient custom with the first recorded dowry noted in 3,000 B.C. This practice effectively "bought" the groom, which left girls without dowries with minimal chances of getting married. On the groom's side, his family provided a house for the couple to live in, and the groom himself would give his bride a valuable surprise gift following the wedding night as reimbursement for the loss of her virginity. A third gift was given to the priest who performed the ceremony and blessed the marriage.

Italian Wedding Chest

Renaissance wedding gifts

During the Renaissance ornate marriage chests marked the joining of the couple. These large chests were produced in pairs and usually held the bride's dowry. In the mid-fifteenth century, these chests were crafted to complement other furnishings in the couple's bedchamber, and they were sometimes paraded through the streets of Florence, Italy, in wedding processions. Gradually, these chests were used to hold all the bride's future linens and other household goods, which she would take to her groom's house. These marriage chests were the earliest form of what we today call a "hope chest."

Cedar Hope Chest

Leather key baskets

By the 1850s, especially in the American South, brides were gifted with a leather key basket which represented her new role as mistress of the house. These baskets were embossed with figures, and shapes like hearts and stars and were kept in Colonial homes. The baskets held keys to unlock doors, chests, and cupboards in the bride's new home. 
 
Leather Key Basket

When did family and friends start giving wedding gifts?

The custom of guests and family giving gifts to the newly married couple is rather recent, and started back around 1890. And with the giving of wedding gifts came folklore that influenced what to buy. For example, according to folklore, giving of knives was a poor gift choice because a knife signified a broken relationship. It was considered bad luck as a wedding gift. If knives were given, you could always pay the giver a penny and that way it became a purchase and not a gift.



As the rituals and customs surrounding marriage slowly evolved, so did wedding gifts. In 1924, Macy's offered the first wedding gift registry and other departments were quick to do the same. Brides picked out their china pattern, with gift registries in these early days including items like crystal, silver, and china as very common bridal gifts.

Today, it's not unusual for guests to buy something more personal rather than purchase something off the registry or to skip presents altogether and just give cash. With so many couples living together before marriage, items needed to set up a household like linens and flatware are no longer popular gifts, and some modern couples have even set up charity donations in lieu of gifts, or they just ask for cash.
 
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Monday, January 8, 2018

How the wedding shower originated

Like many wedding customs and traditions, the history of the wedding shower is steeped in etiquette, but the actual origin is unclear. The practice is said to be tied to dowry practices and origins in the Netherlands. The story surrounds a high-society Dutch woman who didn’t want to marry the rich farmer her father had chosen for her, but rather wanted to marry a poor miller instead. Her father rejected the idea and in an effort to force his daughter to marry the man he chose said he wouldn’t provide a dowry unless she married the farmer. The story goes on to tell how the villagers joined together to “shower” the woman with household items and other small gifts so she could marry the man of her choice. This particular account has a happy ending saying these actions touched the heart of the father and changed his mind. He decided to allow her to marry the man she loved.

Second possible origin of the wedding shower

According to a second account, the history of wedding showers in the United States isn’t quite so romantic. In this case, the practice of holding a wedding shower grew popular in the States in the late 1800s when women of high society celebrated bridal showers for the gossip, food, the opportunity to give gifts and to talk about the bride-to-be’s new upcoming role. During these shower parties, small gifts were placed inside a paper parasol in order to “shower” them over the bride-to-be.
 

Third possible origin of the wedding shower

A third story tells a more practical story about a young woman who couldn’t afford to buy her friend a wedding gift. She invited others to a party and told all to bring a small gift. In this way, she did what she could to give her bride-to-be friend a gift. And lastly, it is suggested the bridal shower originated in the United Sates as a more recent invention created to sell more gifts rather than the result of any tradition.

No matter the origin, today, the wedding shower has evolved into anything from a more modest affair to an extravagant themed party. In any case, the bride is “showered” with gifts. And while the practice of the bridal shower has evolved over time to include both the bride and the groom, much of the original wedding shower etiquette still surrounds this special occasion. Like many wedding traditions, learning the history behind the bridal shower can be used to create your own unique, modern way to celebrate this special occasion. 

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Photo credits: pixabay.com, maxpixel

Friday, November 11, 2022

Wedding ring customs from the ancient world

Delving into the history of wedding rings leads to ancient cultures with rings crafted of similar materials but symbolizing different meanings. Where did the wedding ring custom get its start? Like many ancient customs it is not something agreed upon even by historians. In my research, I give that nod of the head toward the ancient Egyptians, but some suggest it goes back all the way to the Neanderthals.

 

ancient wedding rings

Wedding ring customs through the centuries

Marriage existed throughout ancient cultures around the world. And from this tradition came the custom of wedding rings. The look of wedding rings has changed throughout the centuries. Earliest rings were crafted of leather, ivory or bone. While the materials used were similar among early cultures, it's interesting to note that what wedding rings represented differed from one culture to another.


 

Ancient Egyptian wedding rings

The origin of wedding rings isn’t one hundred percent certain, but based on archeological evidence dating back 3000 years, most historians agree that ancient Egypt was the first culture to exchange wedding rings. These rings were intricately crafted into beautiful jewelry from braided reeds and hemp and placed on the fourth finger as a symbol of the love. However, the ring exchange was not part of a public wedding ceremony but took place in private with rings presented as gifts. Historians have determined through hieroglyphics that the shape of the ring, the circle, symbolized eternal life and the opening in the center was thought to be a portal to a future between two newlyweds.

 


Ancient Roman wedding rings

Marriages in ancient Rome had to conform to Roman law and were categorized by social class. This included three different categories of weddings: Usus, Coemptio, and Confarreatio. For the lowest class, the word for marriage was Usus. Today, we can compare it to a common-law marriage. For the next class up, marriage was known as the Coemptio and involved purchasing the bride. In this case, not all historians agree on whether this was an actual purchase or a symbolic sale, but either way, the ring represented a purchase. However, neither of these marriages were considered legal.

 

Roman key ring

The only authorized marriage in Ancient Rome was the Confarreatio, a privilege reserved for the elite upper class. These marriages were presided over and the groom presented his bride with a ring during the ceremony. The wedding ring tradition began with rings made of flint and bone. Later rings were crafted of copper, silver, and gold. Most Confarreatio rings were crafted of iron or gold with the iron ring worn in private and the gold ring worn in public. Even in these upper-class marriages, the rings were not considered symbols of love but rather symbols of possession—that the wife belonged to the husband. However, in the brides favor, it also meant that the married woman had a right to her husband’s possessions. 

 

Ancient Greek wedding rings

The first Ancient Greek wedding rings were also crafted of leather, ivory or bone, but when metal rings were introduced, a simple gold band was worn on the left hand as an engagement ring and was then moved to the right hand when married. Later gold rings inlaid with colorful gems, crystals, or glass became popular. These precious rings were often passed from one generation to the next becoming the first heirloom rings. 


Indian wedding rings

Historically, in Ancient India, according to Manu Smiriti, the laws of Manu or Manava Dharma Shastra, eight main forms of Hindu marriages existed in ancient India. I will create another post to explain that in detail at another time. In ancient India, gold was the most idolized form of jewelry. This love of gold jewelry even extended to dressing animals, like elephants, in intricate gem-studded pieces. It is thought that this love for jewelry stemmed from the culture’s belief in mystical qualities thought to protect the wearer from evil. Traditional Indian brides wore the wedding ring on the right hand because the left hand is considered unclean.

A couple of other things worth mentioning include the Nath, also commonly known as the nose stud or Indian bridal nose ring. Ancient Indian brides (and brides today) wore this bridal nose ring with a long chain of gold connected to the ear. This is not a wedding ring but is part of the bride’s ensemble. 

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Photo credits: pixnio.com


Saturday, October 9, 2021

History of Hera, the ironic goddess of marriage in Greek mythology

As we look at wedding traditions, I thought it would be fun to look at mythology for a change, and what better place to start than the iconic, Hera, goddess of marriage in Greek mythology. She is one of the twelve Olympians and within that mythos, she is the sister and wife of the god of the sky, Zeus. In art, she is often depicted with the animals she considered sacred, and is regularly portrayed wearing a high cylindrical crown and seated on a throne.


Hera, goddess of marriage

Within Greek mythology, Hera is the daughter of the Titans Cronus and Rhea, and she rules over Mount Olympus as queen of the gods. What exactly does the queen of the gods do? That role is multifaceted. It not only includes being the goddess of marriage, but also includes goddess of women, family, and childbirth. In these roles, she is considered the patroness and protectress of married women. It was believed that she presided over ancient Greek weddings and blessed marital unions.

 


How Hera and Zeus met

How Hera and Zeus met is a popular story within Greek mythology, but I want to offer the short version to shine a light on the irony of Hera’s role as goddess of marriage. If you know anything of the story of Zeus, you know his history as a lustful god who seemed infatuated with just about every good-looking woman he saw. In Hera’s case, he spotted her as she walked in the region of Hesperides, but decided not to approach her directly. Instead he changed into a wounded cuckoo bird near death. 

Hera took the bird home to restore it to health. Once in her home, she held the bird to her breast to warm it, and Zeus revealed his true identity and took advantage of her. I’m just saying, that if you fall in love with someone who pretends to be one thing and proves to be something else in a negative way, and he takes advantage of you, it is not a good idea to continue in that relationship. But, Zeus was the chief deity of the pantheon. I guess one might be enamored by titles like the god of the sky, protector of cities, home, strangers, guests, etc. After all, when you stand back and look at it, all his roles complemented Hera’s.

 


Hera’s wedding

Hera and Zeus enjoyed a lavish wedding with the ceremony performed in the Garden of Hesperides, the same place Zeus first saw Hera. Sacrifices were made in the couples’ honor, and the other gods sang hymns of praise for the newlyweds. Each god brough a gift. One of the most notable were the gifts given by Gaea, the goddess of the Earth. She gave the couple a quince (the Greek symbol of love), and she created a tree bearing golden apples for Hera which were protected by a great serpent called Ladon.

Hera’s honeymoon

Hera and Zeus’ honeymoon lasted for a three hundred years. The mythos says their honeymoon destination was the Greek island of Samos. Greeks often used this myth to talk about the Earth’s fertility, or the lasting power of marital love. But most people who know anything about the myth of Zeus and Hara know that he did not honor monogamous marriage.

Hera the vengeful wife

While the marriage saw some happy times, Hera didn’t forget how Zeus had taken advantage of her and she watched for a time when she could get even. She saw her opportunity when Zeus mistreated his fellow Olympians. When she saw they were fed up with her husband, she talked them into revolting, but the revolt failed. As punishment, Zeus tied Hera’s wrists with golden shackles with anvils shackled to her feet and then hung her from the heavens. She cried out in pain all night but none of the other gods dared to lift a finger to help her because they feared Zeus. The following day, Zeus showed her mercy and offered to let her go on one condition. She had to swear never to plot or rebel against him again. She kept that promise, but turned her wrath towards Zeus' mistresses and their illegitimate children.

Hera a jealous wife

Zeus’ numerous affairs and resulting illegitimate children led to a collection of stories which define her as a vengeful, jealous wife. Probably one of the most popular of these stories surrounds the birth of Zeus’ illegitimate son, Heracules. (Did you notice the first part of his name is Hera? This is the Greek spelling. The Romans spelled it Hercules.)

When Heracules’ mortal mother, Alcmene, went into labor, Zeus announced that the next child born in his lineage would become a great king. Hera stepped into her role as the goddess of childbirth and prolonged Alcmene’s labor to delay Heracules’ birth, and with the help of her daughter, Eileithyia, she caused a more distant descendant to prematurely give birth to a son, and he became the ruler of Mycenae. 

After Hercules was born, Hera sent two snakes to kill him in his crib, but even as an infant, Hercules had unusual strength and he strangled the snakes. Her shenanigans didn’t end there. As a young adult she cast a spell on Heracules that led him to kill his wife and children.


With this story, I ask, why was Hera considered the god of marriage or the god of childbirth?

 

Image credits: Steven Zucker, Mary Harrsch, pxfuel, picryl