Ring warming ceremony – an Irish tradition

For couples looking for ways to involve their guests in the wedding ceremony beyond things like responsive reading, the Irish ring warming ceremony is a meaningful ritual that involves everyone. This ceremony is also known as the ring blessing and is often performed instead of lighting the unity candle. It's a sweet way to involve family and loved ones as they add their own blessings, prayers and best wishes to the marriage.

How to incorporate ring warming ceremony into wedding

How you incorporate the ring warming into your wedding ceremony is up to you. Here are a few ideas.

Passing the rings

Traditionally, rings were passed from one guest to another. If you choose to go this route, the officiant can make an announcement at the beginning of the ceremony letting guests know the rings will be passed around and that each guest is invited to hold the ring and say a silent blessing or prayer for the marriage before passing the ring to the person beside them. This works best with smaller weddings as rings are handed to someone in the front row and told to pass them on until they make their way back to the front. To avoid the possibility of a dropped ring rolling along the floor beneath guests’ feet leading to a chaotic mass of people crawling around looking for the missing ring, rings are usually tied with a piece of ring warming ribbon, place in a ring warming ceremony box, or tied to the cushion carried by the ring bearer as they are passed around.

Rings are often tied with ring warming ribbon

Ring warming dish

Not everyone is comfortable with passing the rings around, especially in larger gatherings as this creates the feel of a lot of dead time. Instead of passing the rings, some couples choose to place them in an attractive ring warming dish near the entrance with a sign inviting guests to warm the ring with prayers, blessing and well wishes for the couple. This is also a good place to display the guest book and pen.

  

Ring warming dish

Ideas for ring warming ceremony songs

If you do decide to pass the rings, its nice to play meaningful music. Song choice can be instrumental or with lyrics. It can be contemporary like All You Need Is Love by the Beatles, a song with a folksy flare like Christina Perri’s, Thousand Years of Arms, or a Christian love song like The Prayer by Josh Groban and Charlotte Church. Song choice is a perfect opportunity for the couple to share their love for each other with their guests.

Ring warming box

How long does a ring warming ceremony take?

How long the ring warming ceremony takes will depend on whether or not you pass the rings around or have them in a dish at the entrance. If you pass them around, how long the ceremony will take will depend on how many guests you have and how long they take to pray over the rings. It is one of the things you’ll want to take into consideration, because even with music playing while the rings are passed, the couple will be standing up front. If it takes a long time, it can start to create that awkward feeling that you should be “doing” something. 

Irish wedding blessing

While the Irish wedding blessing isn’t part of the ring warming ceremony, it is certainly worth mentioning because the two pair to make a uniquely special wedding. While no one knows for sure where this blessing originated, some attribute it to Ireland’s St. Patrick and traditionally, it is said by the father of the bride to the groom during the ring exchange ceremony.

May the Road Rise Up To Meet You

May the road rise to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

the rain fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

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What to do if COVID 19 canceled or postponed your wedding

I normally don’t talk too much about current events here at Wedding Traditions and Meanings, but these times are anything but normal as our country fights to stay ahead of the COVID-19 spread. The CDC has officially recommended the cancelation of weddings in the United States for eight weeks (until mid-May) and that IS history.

Before I get into the steps to take if your wedding has been canceled, let me tell you a story about a close family member who was married almost two years ago. It was a May wedding held outdoors. A perfect day. Slightly overcast, a little bit of a breeze. The father walked the bride down the aisle to her beaming groom and the ceremony started. And the sun came out. The breeze died. The sun felt like we were baking in an oven and the bride started to sway. I knew she was going to faint. Three of us ran up there. A chair was placed under her before her lights went out. She came to within seconds. Dots of perspiration decorated her face like pearls warning that she was overheated…the dress to tight…something. They finished taking their vows sitting down. When things were done, they got in the car to go to where the reception was held, but the bride started throwing up. Turns out she had the flu. They missed their own reception. And a couple days later the groom had the bug. Honeymoon canceled.

Why do I tell this story? Well, that’s what it is. The couple has few pictures of the day, they missed their reception, and didn’t get their honeymoon. BUT they are happily married today. As we deal with this national emergency, we all face a new normal. Just like brides who married before their men went off to war, we do what must be done. With that said, here are a few steps to help you through this new normal as you try to deal with the fact that your wedding has been canceled.

Checklist for cancelling your wedding because of COVID-19

While this short checklist can help you take the steps needed to cancel or postpone your wedding due to COVID-19, it will require you to check the cancellation policies of the vendors and suppliers you have contracted with. Contacting them will help you decide if you need to cancel or you can postpone. That’s step one. If you decide to postpone, as you contact the various vendors ask them if it is possible for them to hold your deposit until things settle down and you can set a new date. If that isn’t going to work and you feel you have to cancel for now, these three steps can help you get it done.

1.  Check your contracts to know how to proceed. Most of the time deposits are non-refundable, but in the case of COVID-19 there is a measure of flexibility because the government is the one that has banned social gatherings including weddings. If you have wedding insurance call them right away. (The same with travel insurance regarding the cancellation of your honeymoon.)
2. Ask for help from a friend or family members you know will actually get the job done. Have them contact suppliers and guests for you. Sharing the load will help alleviate some of the stress and it can give other people something to do as they are sheltering in place. Email them the list of who needs to be contacted. Guests who are traveling should be contacted first so they can make their own cancellations. For the guest list, create a spreadsheet to help keep information organized in a way that makes sense to anyone who sees it. 
3.  Create an email address specifically for this task so all correspondence is in one account.

In the case of COVID-19, most suppliers will try to find a new date or give you a refund. Some have an 'Act of God' clause in their contracts which means no payment is required in the case of a fire, flooding or extreme weather. I’m guessing that COVID-19 will fall into this category.

Photo credits: pixabay, pixabay

Adding a quaich ceremony to your wedding

Couples looking to add something vintage but unique to their wedding experience might want to consider adding a quaich ceremony to their plans. This involves a traditional Scottish two-handled cup known as a quaich (from the Scottish Gaelic cuach which means “cup”). While it is called a cup, I'd say it looks more like a shallow bowl with two handles. It is sometimes called the “cup of friendship” and often is referred to as the “love cup” but no matter what you call it, it brings a rich tradition to any wedding with a quaich ceremony. It can also be used at the reception for the couple to take their first toast together and it makes a lovely keepsake to be handed down to future generations.

History of the quaich cup

The meaning behind the traditional quaich cup is not a legendary love story like the German Bridal Cup. What history we do have is permeated with myth and conjecture. What we do know is that its original purpose was as a vessel to drink whiskey or brandy. Some say the invention of cup was inspired by the fact that Highlanders drank a dram from scallop shells before they had the quaich. Others date it back to the Celtic Druids who are said to have used them in their ceremonies. The fact is, no one really knows for sure. 

Another thing we do know is that the original cups were much simpler than what we have today. They were carved from a single block of wood and were commonly offered to a visitor with a welcoming drink.

Meaning of the quaich cup

Originally, the humble wooden quaich represented friendship. So offering the cup to welcome a visitor was kind of like a handshake presented by a clan chief or a crofter. But it was more than a handshake, because as the cup was passed from one man to another it required them to use both hands. That meant they couldn’t be holding a weapon. It was a symbol of trust between fellow drinkers.

It wasn’t until the 17^th century that goldsmiths started to craft quaich cups using precious metals. At this point, the shape of the cup was also adapted to be less clunky and daintier in order to suit the refined tastes of the upper classes of the Scottish Lowlands.

Quaich wedding ceremony

A simple quaich ceremony practiced at weddings taps into the use of the quaich as a symbolic gesture of welcome to the drinker. One possibility is to first have the groom's parents hand the cup to the bride. Then have the bride's parents hand it to the groom. As this is done, everyone takes a sip from the cup as a gesture of welcoming new members to the family. 

Some couples pass the quaich to the wedding party too as a symbol of everyone sharing in the happy couple's love and happiness. I suggest if you want to go that route, that you supply individual quaichs for each person to drink from. For a special touch, have them engraved with the date of the wedding and the couples’ names. 

There isn't an exact script to follow or a specific practice when it comes to the quaich ceremony. If you are looking for more inspiration, the Argyll and Butte Council offers a wealth of ideas. If you plan to add the quaich ceremony to your wedding because you have Scottish ancestral roots, you might want to pair it with the handfasting ceremony as another strong cultural element that offers layers of symbolism and special meaning.

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Some links in this post are affiliate links. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to amazon.com and affiliate sites.

Thanks so much for being part of our success.

Photo credits: Apie / CC BY-SA, By Robin-wood - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0