6 wedding customs that involve throwing things

Many wedding traditions we practice today are linked with superstitions from long ago. Some of these old customs have fallen out of favor, some have evolved, and some are quite a bit like they were when they were first established. I’ve written about wedding traditions for years now and have to say I'm surprised at how many customs involved throwing things at the bride and or groom. Before you read any further, ask yourself, can you name six wedding customs that involve throwing things? 

Throwing shoes started back in the Tudor period in England

1. Throwing bread at the bride

The throwing of bread was practiced in 16^thcentury, but before we get to that let’s take a look of how we got there with a peek back at the Middle Ages. At that time, brides carried or wore wheat ears as a symbol of fertility, and young girls customarily gathered outside the church to throw grains of wheat over the bride meant to shower the couple with good fortune, prosperity, and fertility. 

Later, bread was made from wheat flour and water and was thrown at the bride during the ceremony to encourage fertility. (In Russia today, wedding bread called karavay is still a center piece of weddings and is thought to represent fertility.) In 16th-century England, the bride’s bread evolved into small rectangular cakes made of eggs, milk, sugar, currants, and spices. Makes me think of something like banana bread with blueberries or something. Anyhow, each guest had at least one of these little cakes which were thrown at the bride as she crossed the threshold. The main theme that followed the various customs involving the throwing of bread are linked to fertility.

 

Today many couples throw biodegradable confetti.

2. Throwing rice (and other grains)

Throwing rice at newlyweds is an ancient custom but the throwing of wheat actually predates throwing rice. In rural parishes of England, when wheat was thrown over the bridal couple the people would say, "Bread for life, pudding forever." For my readers who don’t know about “pudding” in English terms, it is their word for dessert. Only prosperous people had the means to enjoy desserts, so it was a way of wishing the newlyweds might always be prosperous. 

The practice of throwing rice, or oats, or other grains (or peas for Czech newlyweds) all held the same symbolism. It represented showering the couple with good fortune, prosperity and fertility. Instead of thinking of it as “rice” or “oats” the people back then looked at it as life-giving seed and it was a way to wish newly married couples good luck. 

It was considered good luck to hit the departing carriage with your shoe.

 

 

 

3. Throwing shoes at the bride and broom

I only recently came upon this tradition when writing about the origins of wedding receptions. Throwing shoes at the newlywed couple started back in the Tudor period in England (1500s). As the bride and groom drove away in their carriage, wedding guests threw their shoes at them because they believed it was good luck if you hit the vehicle. Needless to say, as a wedding custom, throwing shoes is no longer practiced. The custom changed to tying old shoes to the back of the carriage, which then evolved here in the States to using aluminum cans.

4. Throwing the bouquet

The custom of the bride carrying a flower bouquet is an interesting one with ancient origins that can be traced back to ancient Rome. Back then brides carried or wore flower garlands because they believed flowers signified new beginnings, fidelity and hope of fertility. By the Middle Ages, instead of flowers, women carried aromatic bunches of garlic, herbs and spices to ward off evil spirits, bad luck, and sickness. Today, the bouquet represents happiness and satisfaction in marriage. So how did throwing the bouquet come about?

Tossing the bridal bouquet to guests started back in medieval times. At that time, it was considered good luck for guests to get a piece of the wedding dress, so guests were eager to go after the bride trying to rip off bits of her dress. Brides started tossing the bouquet as a distraction so they could get away with the dress in one piece. Over time, catching the bouquet became a talisman for good luck to the one who caught it. 

5. Tossing the garter

The custom of throwing the garter started in England and France and came about for the same reason as throwing of the bouquet. In an effort to distract guests who hoped to tear off a piece of the bride’s dress, the groom tossed a garter.

6. Throwing money at the bride and groom

In Greece, throwing money around the bride and groom is one aspect of a dance called the "kalamatiano" or here in the States, the money dance. In Nigeria, this tradition is called the "money spray" In Poland, the money is pinned on the bride during the reception as she dances. The idea behind this tradition is to help the couple out financially as they start their life together. In general, money is either thrown, pinned or handed to the couple while dancing.

Vintage wedding ideas for the modern bride

• While no one wants a loaf of bread tossed at them, wedding bread is rich with symbolism. For a vintage touch, have a special loaf of bride’s bread made for the couple. Just for fun, you might want to include this old custom: Someone holds the loaf and the bride and groom take a bite. Whoever takes the biggest bite will be the head of the household.
• In the Ukraine, after the bride and groom eat the wedding bread, people throw candies and money at them. This tradition represents wishes for financial blessings and abundance.

Photo credits:picryl, pixabay, needpix, Wikimedia, flickr, wikimedia

A Loook Back at Wedding Reception Origins

(Updated October 2026)

Sometimes terminology surrounding weddings can leave me scratching my head. That’s one of the reasons I write this blog. I like to hunt down wedding origins and traditions and their meanings. I like to know why we do what we do. For instance, why is a wedding toast called a toast? I’ve already answered that one in the History of the Wedding Toast. And why do we give away the bride? And why is the party following the wedding called a reception? 

 

Why Is a Wedding Reception Called a Reception?

The word reception has more than one definition. If you think of it as simply “the act or process of receiving something sent or given,” it doesn't seem to fit a wedding very well. But another definition is much more fitting: a formal social occasion held to welcome someone or celebrate a particular event.

That makes sense when we look at the old tradition of the receiving line.

At many wedding receptions, the newly married couple, along with their parents or other hosts, would stand together and greet each guest individually. Guests were, quite literally, being received by the hosts of the celebration.

So the name wasn't quite as mysterious as it might first appear.

Origins of the Wedding Reception

Wedding celebrations are certainly not a modern invention. Weddings have been followed since ancient times by some form of feast or gathering, although what that celebration looked like depended greatly on the time period, culture, location, and social standing of the families involved.

The modern wedding reception developed gradually.

In earlier periods, the wedding ceremony itself and the celebration afterward were not necessarily separate events in the way we think of them today. A wedding might be followed by a meal, feast, dancing, or other festivities involving family and friends.

Over time, particularly in Western European and American traditions, the celebration following the ceremony developed into a more recognizable wedding reception.

And the reception didn't always happen in a ballroom or banquet hall.

I'm about to celebrate by 57th wedding anniversary, and back when I got married, my middle-class parents hosted the wedding reception in their home. They moved all the furniture out of the living room and dining room and set up rented tables and chairs. We fried chicken, rolled luncheon meat platters, and some of my aunts brought dishes to share. For many American families, especially middle-class families, receptions held in the bride's home remained common well into the 20th century with the form of the celebration varying according to the family's means. A wealthy family might hold an elaborate ball, while a middle-class family might put on an afternoon luncheon and tea like my parents did.

What about before that?

 19^th Century Wedding Receptions

In the 19th century, weddings often took place earlier in the day, and the reception was frequently a wedding breakfast held at the bride's home.

The word breakfast can be misleading to modern readers. We might picture eggs, toast, and coffee, but the Victorian wedding breakfast was actually a celebratory meal held after the wedding ceremony.

The bride and groom received their wedding guests, who offered words of congratulation.

Wedding etiquette could be very particular about who said what and to whom. Guests generally addressed the bride first unless they didn't know her. In that case, the groom introduced the guest to his new bride after receiving the person's congratulations.

And here's an interesting bit of etiquette: traditionally, congratulations were not offered to the bride because doing so could imply that she was fortunate to have a man choose her!

How uncouth!

Instead, the bride might receive good wishes while the groom was congratulated on his marriage.

Wedding Cake at the Reception

Wedding cake has a long history of its own, and the cake served at 19th-century weddings could be quite different from the cakes we see at modern receptions.

Rich fruitcakes were especially popular, often covered with white icing. The cake wasn't always eaten at the reception in the way we expect today. Pieces were often cut, wrapped in greaseproof paper, and given to guests as they departed.

That practice also connects with another fascinating wedding tradition: saving a portion of the wedding cake for later .

Victorian wedding cakes were sometimes preserved to be eaten on a future anniversary or saved for the christening of the couple's first child.

I'll have more to say about the history and traditions surrounding wedding cake in its own story because there is much more to it than simply cutting a cake and feeding a piece to your new spouse.

When the bride and groom left the reception breakfast, they were pelted with rice and shoes. Why shoes? Apparently, this was thought to bring good luck and fertility to the bride and groom, if they or their carriage was hit.

Wedding Receptions in the Early 20th Century

As the 19th century gave way to the 20th, wedding celebrations continued to evolve.

Some families still held receptions at home, while others had the means to host larger celebrations in hotels, restaurants, clubs, or other venues.

As with earlier generations, the size and style of the reception often depended on the family's finances and social circumstances. A wealthy family could host an elaborate affair, while a middle-class family might hold a luncheon or afternoon gathering. And for many families, the bride's home remained an important place for the wedding celebration.

My home wedding reception at my parents' home.

My Own Wedding Reception

When I originally wrote this article, I had recently celebrated my 50th wedding anniversary. Back when I got married, my middle-class parents hosted the wedding reception in their home.

They moved the furniture out of the living room and dining room and set up rented tables and chairs. We fried chicken, rolled luncheon-meat platters, and some of my aunts brought dishes to share.

It wasn't an elaborate ballroom reception. It was family, food, and celebration in my parents' home. And in that respect, it wasn't all that different from the home wedding receptions that had been held by previous generations.

The details had changed, but the basic idea remained the same: bring people together to celebrate the marriage.

How Wedding Receptions Changed

During the 20th century, wedding receptions increasingly moved away from being primarily home-based celebrations.

As transportation, commercial catering, hotels, restaurants, and dedicated event spaces became more accessible, couples had more choices about where and how to celebrate.

By the middle and latter part of the 20th century, the familiar elements of the modern reception became increasingly common:

• A meal or buffet
• Wedding cake
• Toasts
• Music and dancing
• A receiving line
• Speeches
• Special dances
• Photography
• Favors for guests

Of course, not every wedding included all of these traditions. Wedding customs have never been exactly the same for everyone.

But the reception had become something distinctly recognizable: a celebration following the wedding ceremony where the newly married couple welcomed their guests and celebrated their new life together.

From Wedding Breakfast to Wedding Reception

One of the things I find most interesting about wedding history is how familiar traditions can change without disappearing completely. The Victorian wedding breakfast is not the same thing as today's reception.

A bride's parents serving a meal in their home isn't the same as renting a ballroom for several hundred guests. And yet, they all serve essentially the same purpose.

People Gather to Celebrate a Marriage

The receiving line may be less common at some modern weddings, but the idea behind the word reception remains.

The wedding cake remains.

Toasts remain.

Sharing a meal remains.

And, perhaps most importantly, families and friends still gather to welcome the newly married couple into this new chapter of their lives.

That's what I love about looking at the history behind wedding traditions. The details change with the times, but sometimes the reason we do something remains surprisingly familiar.

After all, a wedding reception is simply a way of saying:

Come celebrate with us.

And that is a tradition worth keeping.

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