Why do we throw rice at weddings?

Throwing rice used to be a popular wedding tradition but it’s one we’ve stepped away from more and more in modern times for a number of reasons, including the fact that it isn’t allowed in most venues. Originally guests threw oats, grains, dried corn, (for Czech newlyweds it was peas), and eventually it was rice. Showering the newlyweds with this “life-giving” seed was meant to shower the couple with good fortune, prosperity, and fertility.

 

One of the reasons rice isn’t thrown much today is due to an urban legend which says rice is harmful to birds, but this has been proven false. The story speculated that the rice expanded in the birds’ stomachs and caused our feathered friends to explode. In 1985 a Connecticut state legislator even introduced a bill to outlaw the practice and those caught throwing rice would be fined $50.

Other issues with throwing hard grain is that it can actually hurt, get in your ears, poke your eyes, etc. If people toss the grain underhand it gently showers the bride and groom, but when hurled like a major-league pitcher, with speed and purpose, it hurts.

Keep the traditional symbolism without the rice

If you like the traditional symbolism associated with throwing “life-giving” seed to wish the newly married couple good luck as they leave the church, there are a variety of other options. Probably the most popular is birdseed or sunflower seeds. While these are bird-friendly options, like rice these can hurt if thrown with vigor and be slippery on sidewalks creating a slipping hazard. For those wishing to avoid that risk, some people have turned to blowing bubbles, but this too can be really slippery if done indoors as bubbles from so many well-wishers land on the floor and pop creating a soapy film, so be careful.

Other options include flower petals, which can provide beautiful color for some stunning wedding pictures. I’ve also seen people release butterflies (which dates back to the 90s), but environmentalists point out that this will cause an imbalance to the ecosystem.

So what is the best alternative to throwing rice at a wedding? They make biodegradable confetti which is lightweight, comes in color or white, and falls gracefully which makes for great wedding photos -- plus it dissolves when it rains so there’s no mess to clean up. That's a big plus in my book.

 

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Ideas for something old, new, borrowed and blue

Today many brides follow the tradition of wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Every wonder why? It's a wedding tradition that comes from an Old English rhyme which originated in England in the late 19th century:

Something olde,

Something new,

Something borrowed,

Something blue,

A sixpence in your shoe.

The four objects commonly added to the bride’s wedding attire or what she carries with her on the big day are historically just good luck charms. Don't stress too much about them. You can easily accomplish this by keeping the items small and hanging them from the bridal bouquet. For instance, you can include an old photograph borrowed from a family member, tied with a blue ribbon and you’ll have old, new, borrowed, and blue all in the bouquet. Or for a really easy option, you can purchase a trinket that can be pinned or clicked into place.

Light Blue Simulated Pearl, Double Heart, Blue Crystal, and Six Pence Bridal Pin

Why do brides wear something old, new, borrowed and blue?

While this practice belongs to wedding traditions thought to bring good luck, it is only fair to point out that each of the items in the popular rhyme has its own meaning or blessing (and only one has anything to do with luck). 

Old represents continuity

New signifies optimism

Borrowed item stands for happiness

Blue symbolizes love, purity, and fidelity

Sixpence in your shoe is a wish for good fortune and prosperity (largely a British custom)

Most of the time the Maid of Honor is the one responsible for making sure the bride is equipped with these items, but it can be fun to include members of the family too.

Ideas for something old, new, borrowed and blue

Including family or other loved ones in this wedding tradition adds an element of sentiment that will become part of your own wedding lore. For instance, go to your mom or sister for something borrowed. And for something old, have dad pull out an old photo of the two of you or a baby picture of you from his wallet just before you walk down the aisle. And ask a brother or uncle or close male family friend to come up with something blue. In this way, it’s more like a wedding scavenger hunt and a great way to create a special memory unique to your wedding story.

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What did weddings look like the year you were born?

When it comes to weddings, those of us who have been around for a while can look at a photo and guess the era of the wedding based on how the bride, groom, and bridal party is dressed and of course hairstyles.

1960s bride and groom

While on Facebook today, I came across a slideshow that takes a look at bridal fashion starting back in 1916. It's a fun overview that includes interesting tidbits of history and wedding traditions. Enjoy the 100-year journey! And if you're considering a vintage wedding, it's a perfect resource.

Wasp waistlines and billowing skirts of the 50s

Wedding dresses like this one pictured in 1929 represent typical wedding dress style of the era, but by the 1950s designs evolved to include billowing skirts and wasp-waist designs. As an example of a wasp-waste the waistline, Elizabeth Taylor's wedding dress waist measured 20 inches!

Home wedding receptions of the 60s and 70s

By the 1960s, wedding dress designs became sleeker but cakes grew fancier. In the 60s and 70s it was still common to hold a wedding reception at someone's house, but as wedding traditions continued to evolve along with the dresses in the decades following, the wedding ceremony, venue, and reception grew increasingly extravagant...and expensive.

1929 wedding

Even in the 70s it wasn't unusual for a family member or close friend to make a wedding dress as a way to save money. Back then, fabric was way cheaper. To put it into perspective, malls were still a brand-new concept at the time. Another way to save was to order your dress through one of the catalogs like J.C. Penney, Sears, or Montgomery Wards. This was also a great place to order bridesmaids dresses especially when the wedding party lived in different states.

Photo credits: Pixbay, wikipedia

Newer wedding trends and traditions

In my last post we looked at some of today's most popular traditions and I mentioned that in this post we'd look new practices that are becoming traditions in their own rite. After all, every tradition starts somewhere. For instance, the tradition of wedding flowers started in ancient Rome when brides carried herbs beneath their veils to ward off evil spirits and ensure fertility and fidelity for the union. Similarly, in ancient Greece, brides used Ivy to represent lasting love.

Changes to the wedding flowers tradition

Overtime, the incorporation of flowers in weddings has become a tradition. We have flower girls, wedding flowers, including the bridal bouquet, pew decorations, corsages for mothers of the bride and groom, reception flowers, and more. In fact, wedding flowers are big business with different flowers attributed with unique meanings. Take the rose for instance. That one flower is probably the most popular wedding flower but it holds a different meaning depending on the color. A red rose symbolizes passion, a white rose represents purity, a yellow rose is said to symbolize friendship, joy and caring, while a pink rose signifies joy and admiration.

With all that said, today's modern trends in wedding flowers leave the traditional standard behind and leans toward personal preference. Traditional white is still in style, but today's trends have brides going with anything from bold and robust colors to monochromatic selections with only one flower or color, and bridesmaids' bouquets that no longer have to match the bride's bouquet. Plus in today's global society, flowers aren't as restricted by season, so if the bride loves stargazer lilies which traditionally bloom mid-to-late summer and are known for their fragrant perfume they are available for winter weddings, too.

First dances/father daughter dance and more

Other traditions changing are the bride and groom's first dance, as well as the father-daughter or mother-and-son dance. Today, the trend for the newly married couple is to step away from the traditional slow dance and liven things up with something like a tango or salsa. Another step away from tradition replaces the father/daughter dance by having the bride dance with her mother, stepfather, or special friend.

Another trend for wedding dances is to have the DJ call all the married couples to the dance floor and gradually eliminate them as the dance goes on leaving the longest married couple with the honor of the last couple dancing.

Instead of bouquet toss

While the bouquet toss is still one of the most practiced wedding traditions, the trend seems to have brides moving away from the practice. The reason behind this seems to be many single friends aren't interested in participating in the bouquet toss these days, so instead brides are giving the bouquet to their parents as a special memento.

 

Instead of garter toss

Instead of the garter toss, couples are including their youngest guests in the fun. One popular idea is the tossing of a white teddy bear for one lucky winner to catch. An alternative to this is to toss soft, wrapped candy so all the kids can grab a prize.

Personalized escort cards

As a special way to thank each wedding guest, some couples write out a personalized thank-you on a small card which doubles as their escort cards. These also make a special keepsake for wedding guest.

Signature drink

A fairly new trend includes offering a signature drink to guests during cocktail hour. The hardest part for this one is to think up a clever name for the drink.

Slideshow

Another new wedding tradition includes a slideshow designed to entertain guests with slides of the bride and groom starting with childhood photos and working through their lives to courtship and engagement.

Today, I guess we could say the newest wedding tradition is that anything goes. 

 

Photo credits: Pixbay, piqsels, Viemo, Viemo

Wedding traditions most practiced today

Every bride and groom wants their wedding day to be special and memorable. And many want it to stand out from the rest by doing something different or unique. But it gets harder and harder to find the new and different because word spreads fast. For instance, I remember the first time I had carrot wedding cake. What a delicious difference. That might have been twenty years ago. Now it is common place to have wedding cakes comprised of different flavors for each layer, or even wedding cupcakes. So the traditional wedding cake is gradually becoming an obsolete tradition. 

Some wedding traditions have become so entrenched in culture that many times people look at them as rules to be followed. What you do with that will depend on whether you are one who abides by the rules or someone who believes rules are made to be broken. With that said, this post takes a look at the most-practiced wedding traditions today.

Father giving the bride away

According to a recent Harris Poll  most people still think the father of the bride should give the bride away. However, people aren't so sure about sticking him with the bill for the wedding anymore.

Night before the wedding spent apart

The UK's four-star Hallmark Hotels also polled people in the UK regarding wedding traditions and 54 percent of them believe couples should spend the night before the wedding apart. In the U.S. we are even more traditional with 74 percent of us following this tradition.

 

Something old, new, borrowed, and blue

This tradition of the bride wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue is a tradition that originates from an Old English rhyme but is still widely practiced today. 

Adding these items to what the bride wears is among wedding traditions thought to bring good luck, but each item has its own meaning. The old represents continuity, the new signifies optimism, the borrowed item stands for happiness, and the blue symbolizes love, purity, and fidelity.

Throwing the Bouquet

Throwing the bridal bouquet is another popular tradition which stems from a time when other women tried to rip pieces of the bride's dress and flowers to steal some of her good luck for themselves. Back then, the bride tossed her flowers into the air in order to make her get away while the guests were distracted. Today, the belief tied to this practice has morphed into whoever catches it will be the next to be married.

In my next blog we'll take a look at new practices that are quickly becoming traditions in their own rite.

 

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Related article: Wedding Traditions Origins: Newer Wedding Trends and Traditions

Photo credits: John Mayer, Timothy Marsee