When did men start wearing wedding rings?

When did men start wearing wedding rings? When you look at the history of wedding rings, it is speculated that wedding rings in general date all the way back to ancient Egypt. At that time, couples exchanged rings as a symbol of their love, but the ring exchange wasn’t part of any particular ceremony. Later, in ancient Rome, the tradition of metal wedding bands started with brides being presented with two rings -- an iron ring to be worn around the house and a gold ring which was worn out in public. But what about male wedding rings? 

Male wedding rings: The history

In today’s western culture, the man’s wedding ring is as important as the woman’s ring as part of the marriage ceremony and the couple's married life together. 

Wedding rings are considered symbols on more than one level. First, it is a symbol of the bride and groom’s relationship as they join to become husband and wife. They also symbolize unending love and just wearing the ring represents the fact that the two people are married and no longer "available." But the tradition of men wearing wedding rings is actually a fairly new addition to the wedding tradition, because while women have worn wedding rings since ancient times, the practice of men wearing wedding rings only dates back to the 20^th century and it wasn’t for the reasons we think of for wearing wedding rings today. 

The practice actually started during World Wars I and II, when soldiers wore wedding rings as a reminder of their wives back home. It wasn’t until after the Korean War that wedding rings for men took on the sentimental value we associate with them today. At that point in time, matching wedding bands grew in popularity and rings designed specifically with men in mind became available.

Silicone wedding rings make a safe alternative for everyday wear

Things to consider when choosing male wedding rings today

While male wedding rings have become a traditional part of today’s culture, when choosing a wedding ring for a man a lot of different elements of life should be taken into consideration. For instance:

• The width. Is it comfortable on your finger? Remember you'll be wearing this ring the rest of your life.
• Metal choice. Do you need a more durable metal or will gold or silver suit your lifestyle?
• Do you want the ring engraved?
• What kind of finish do you want? And what about other detailing?
• What does the man do for a living? Many jobs don’t allow men to wear a ring for safety reasons. However, today, silicone wedding rings are crafted to be attractive, comfortable, heat resistant and non-conductive and make a “safe” alternative for everyday wear and are allowed at many jobs that don't permit metal rings to be worn.

So really the same guidelines apply to men and women when choosing wedding rings. You want to take lifestyle as well as preferences into account. Traditionally, men wore plain metal bands because most men worked with their hands, but ring styles have changed along with the times. Men who don’t have to worry about safety or dirt collecting in intricate designs can choose a ring based on how it looks and feels with choices in metals now ranging beyond gold and silver to include more durable choices like stainless steel, tungsten and titanium.

Meaning of male wedding rings today

Of course the exact meaning attributed to a wedding ring will vary depending on the culture. For example, many cultures wear the wedding ring on the right hand to represent the wedding vows taken because the right hand is the hand used when taking an oath. For others it is worn on the left hand based on the ancient belief that the vein of love runs through the ring finger of the left hand. A secondary reason for the left hand is that usually the right hand is more dominant and so the ring would go through less wear and tear being worn on the left hand. But beyond all this, the meaning of the male wedding ring is the same as the ring worn by the bride. It’s a symbol of eternal love shared by the couple.

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Photo credits: pikrepo, wikimedia, needpix

The history of wedding rings leads to Rome

While the origin of wedding rings isn’t one hundred percent certain, based on archeological evidence dating back 3000 years, historians have pointed back to ancient Egypt as the first culture to exchange rings to commemorate marriage. The rings were given by spouses to each other as a symbol of the love between them, but it wasn’t a part of any ceremony. It was a private gift shared between them. However, to find the origins of the tradition of metal wedding rings exchanged today, we look back to the ancient Romans. At that time and in that culture, marriages had to conform to Roman law and were categorized by social class. This included three different categories of weddings: Usus, Coemptio, and Confarreatio. 

Ancient wedding rings didn’t always represent love

 

In plain English, the Usus was marriage for the lowest class. Today, we might compare it to what we call common-law marriage. The next "step up" was the Coemptio which involved purchasing the bride. Historians don’t totally agree on whether this was an actual purchase or a symbolic sale, but that’s what the ring in these marriages represented. Then there was the Confarreatio – the only “legal” marriage and it was reserved for the elite upper class. This marriage was presided over, and the groom presented his bride with a ring. Most of these rings were made of iron or gold which is what led to the tradition of metal wedding rings. Unlike the Egyptian rings which were symbols of love, historians believe the Romans looked at the metal wedding band as a symbol of possession. Thus, the wife belonged to the husband once that ring went on her finger.

Ancient Romans owned two wedding rings

 

As I mentioned, the ancient Roman wedding rings were made of iron or gold. What I didn’t mention is that the wealthy women in ancient Rome actually were presented with two wedding rings, an iron one and a gold one. The first was to be worn at home and thought to represent strength and permanence. The gold ring was worn in public to impress people. Laws actually prohibited those from the lower classes from wearing gold rings, but these laws were somewhat difficult to enforce, because historical evidence shows that even slaves plated their iron rings with gold if they could.

 

Motif of the clasped hands, signified love, betrothal, and marriage

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Laws of ancient Roman marriage

 

Back in ancient Rome, couples had to have connubium which denoted the legal right to get married. Needless to say this was a requirement for marriage and it wasn’t a permission granted to people who were already married, eunuchs, and people who shared certain blood relationships. Parental consent also played a role with the minimum age for marriage set at age 12 for girls and age 14 for boys.

Photo credits: wikimedia.org, The Portable Antiquities Scheme, Walters Art Museum

Indian weddings are a family affair

India has many subcultures, and with them variations on wedding traditions, but one thing their weddings all have in common is that Indian weddings are more than a joining of the bride and groom as husband and wife. It’s a uniting of their families in a culture that stresses the importance of the community. Family plays an important role in making life decisions and they play a part in the various Indian weddings traditions and customs.

We already looked at the Mehndi Ceremony which takes place the night before the Vivaah (marriage) in a celebration for the bride’s side of the family, and in today’s post we are going to look at the wedding itself.

Baraat - Groom’s Procession

The wedding ceremony starts when the groom arrives. His family and friends accompany him with singing and dancing to music typically provided by a professional dhol player (large bass drum). The procession is met by the bride’s family at the entrance and is said to represent the happiness of the groom’s family in accepting the bride as part of their own family.

Milni - meeting of the two families

As the two families come together like this the bride’s mother greets the groom in a welcoming ritual. This is followed by family members of both sides hugging and greeting one another with garlands. Then the bride’s family accompanies the groom to a canopied altar where the ceremony takes place. This canopy, known as a mandap, is said to represent the home that the bride and groom will work together to create. 

Ganesh Puja – Prayer to Lord Ganesh

The ceremony starts with the Ganesh Puja; a prayer to Lord Ganesh, the destroyer of all obstacles. The priest directs the parents of the bride and groom in this prayer while offering flowers and sweets to Lord Ganesh.

Kanya Aagaman - Arrival of the bride

The bride arrives and is accompanied to the canopied altar by her maternal uncle and aunt, which indicates the bride’s maternal side of the family supports the union. In other parts of India, sisters of the bride, cousins, and close female friends accompany the bride. Once the bride reaches the altar, the bride and groom exchange floral garlands which signifies their acceptance of each other. This symbolic wedding tradition is known as Jai Mala (Exchange of Garlands).

Kanyadaan and Hasta Melap -Giving away of the bride

Following the Jai Mala, the bride’s father pours "sacred" water into his daughter’s hand and then places her hand in the groom’s hand. This gesture represents the official “giving away” of his most precious gift to the groom. At this point, the groom’s sister (or cousin) ties the end of the groom’s scarf to the bride’s wedding sari with betelnuts, copper coins and rice. This symbolic knot represents the eternal bond of marriage.

Vivah Havan - Lighting of the sacred fire

The priest lights the sacred fire or Agni. This signifies the divine presence as a witness of the marriage ceremony, so commitments made are made in the presence of God. The bride and groom walk around the sacred fire seven times while contemplating the four aspirations in life:

•  Dharma: duty to each other, family, and God.
• Artha: prosperity
• Karma: energy and passion
• Moksha: salvation

While performing this circling of the sacred fire known as Mangal Phere, the bride represents divine energy as she leads the groom in the first three rounds. Then the groom takes the lead in the last four rounds symbolizing balance and completeness. This is performed a little differently in some subcultures but once the couple finishes the last four rounds it’s a race to see who can sit down first, because the one who does will rule the house!

Once they are seated, the bride moves to the groom’s left to be as close as possible to his heart. He places a sacred necklace crafted with black and gold beads (called a mangalsutra) around her neck and then applies sindoor (red vermillion) on the crown of her head. Both of these are symbols that she is a married woman.

Once these things are complete, they exchange rings and feed one another sweets. Blessings for the couple are shared by both families as they whisper words of blessing into the bride’s ear. The couple then bows to the priest, the parents, and elder relatives in order to receive their final blessings. The ceremony ends with the guests showering the couple with flowers and rice.

Bidaai -Bride goes to the groom’s house

The bride says her goodbyes to her family and the father of the bride gives his prized possession to the Groom’s father. The procession ends joyfully as the bride leaves her family and goes to the groom’s house.

Photo credits: maxpixel, maxpixel, wikimedia