How does today's average wedding budget compare to the past?

Today, how much you have to spend on your wedding depends on how much you have to spend. This amount is a combination of three sources of money: individual savings (bride’s and groom’s); the amount which can be set aside from current income; and contributions from parents or other loved ones. According to Cost of Wedding, “The average wedding cost in the United States is $25,764. Couples, on average, spend between $19,323 and $32,205 but, most couples spend less than $10,000.” How does this compare to wedding budgets of the past? You guessed it, its much higher, but here’s why.

Receptions were simpler and optional

Today, a wedding reception costs around $12,000 - $14,006 on average. This includes the facility, food, drinks and incidentals like tables, chairs and linens. In the past, wedding receptions were optional. If it didn’t fit the budget, it didn’t happen. In fact, the 1961 copy of Check List for a Perfect Wedding, described how the receiving line should be arranged "if there was to be no reception." When receptions were held they were typically much simpler and limited to serving cake and punch or a breakfast reception with family members serving guests.

Home weddings were common

In the past, home weddings were commonplace. This practice was depicted in the 60s TV show, “The Farmer’s Daughter.” Usually, nuptials were exchanged with a few family members and witnesses present. According to the 1879 Wedding etiquette and Usages of Polite Society, talked about home wedding practice stating the couple were to enter the room and face the wedding official. Refreshments were usually served following the ceremony.

 

Inger Stevens and William Windom from The Farmer's Daughter

Parents role in paying for the wedding

Most etiquette books of times past said the bride's parents were responsible for most of the expenses, but this wasn’t the practice across the board. Cultural communities often had other traditions. For instance, in the 1920s, Italian-American grooms were expected to pay for the reception.

One of the biggest differences in wedding budgets in the past was the focus. Today, couples spend significant money on their rings and receptions. Back in the late 1800s and early 1900s a standard wedding ring was a band of gold. Couples of the past put their money toward their honeymoons and the place they planned to live following their marriage. So financially, the focus was life following the wedding, not the wedding itself.

Photo credits: flickr, wikipedia

How is a promise ring different than an engagement ring?

As promise rings gain in popularity, they raise some questions regarding what they mean. Many of these questions can be answered by looking at how the promise ring differs from an engagement ring. Both rings represent a promise, but while the engagement ring represents a promise to marry, what the promise ring symbolizes is highly individual between couples. Most of the time it represents a token of love and commitment within the confines of a romantic relationship without being tied to a timetable. It can be compared to couples exchanging class rings and going steady in the past. It might mean a promise to become engaged someday like following graduation, or when the couple is more financially stable, or it might simply reflect devotion to one another.

History of promise rings

Promise rings of sorts date back to ancient times when a ring was used to seal a promise. By the 16th and 17th centuries, precursors to today’s promise rings were exchanged as tokens of love or friendship. Poesy rings were gold finger rings with a short sentiment or promise inscribed and given to a friend or lover. Another popular style, known as a scribbling ring was exchanged by lovers in the 16^th century. It was set with uncut diamond chips, which lovers used to etch romantic messages into glass windowpanes.

 

 

Promise ring finger

The promise ring is available in a variety of styles including things like infinity symbols, entwined hearts, or Claddagh rings, but in general, they are smaller and subtler than an engagement ring, and can be worn on the traditional ring finger on the left hand or not. However, if a couple wants to avoid confusion as to whether or not the ring is an engagement ring, it can be worn on another finger. If an engagement ring is given, then the promise ring is worn on the right hand.

Promise ring for couples

How to give a promise ring

If you’re thinking of giving a promise ring to your someone special, you can relax because there’s no right or wrong way to give a promise ring. You don’t have to get down on the traditional bended-knee of engagement ring tradition or anything like that. Instead, promise rings are more often presented at a romantic dinner for two or as a gift for a birthday, Christmas, or Valentine’s Day.
 

One huge difference between an engagement ring and a promise ring is that a promise ring can be shared between friends promising to always be friends, or even given to a child by a parent with a promise to love them forever. But there’s some confusion between the meaning of promise rings and purity rings too. The “promise” attached to a purity ring is often a religious vow to practice abstinence until marriage. With a promise ring, often only the person wearing the promise ring and the one who gives it know what the promise really is and it may or may not contain a promise to remain celibate.

Whatever the reason you want to give or get a promise ring, the promise ring for couples is a tangible symbol and reminder of the love and commitment it represents.

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