6 wedding customs that involve throwing things

Many wedding traditions we practice today are linked with superstitions from long ago. Some of these old customs have fallen out of favor, some have evolved, and some are quite a bit like they were when they were first established. I’ve written about wedding traditions for years now and have to say I'm surprised at how many customs involved throwing things at the bride and or groom. Before you read any further, ask yourself, can you name six wedding customs that involve throwing things? 

Throwing shoes started back in the Tudor period in England

1. Throwing bread at the bride

The throwing of bread was practiced in 16^thcentury, but before we get to that let’s take a look of how we got there with a peek back at the Middle Ages. At that time, brides carried or wore wheat ears as a symbol of fertility, and young girls customarily gathered outside the church to throw grains of wheat over the bride meant to shower the couple with good fortune, prosperity, and fertility. 

Later, bread was made from wheat flour and water and was thrown at the bride during the ceremony to encourage fertility. (In Russia today, wedding bread called karavay is still a center piece of weddings and is thought to represent fertility.) In 16th-century England, the bride’s bread evolved into small rectangular cakes made of eggs, milk, sugar, currants, and spices. Makes me think of something like banana bread with blueberries or something. Anyhow, each guest had at least one of these little cakes which were thrown at the bride as she crossed the threshold. The main theme that followed the various customs involving the throwing of bread are linked to fertility.

 

Today many couples throw biodegradable confetti.

2. Throwing rice (and other grains)

Throwing rice at newlyweds is an ancient custom but the throwing of wheat actually predates throwing rice. In rural parishes of England, when wheat was thrown over the bridal couple the people would say, "Bread for life, pudding forever." For my readers who don’t know about “pudding” in English terms, it is their word for dessert. Only prosperous people had the means to enjoy desserts, so it was a way of wishing the newlyweds might always be prosperous. 

The practice of throwing rice, or oats, or other grains (or peas for Czech newlyweds) all held the same symbolism. It represented showering the couple with good fortune, prosperity and fertility. Instead of thinking of it as “rice” or “oats” the people back then looked at it as life-giving seed and it was a way to wish newly married couples good luck. 

It was considered good luck to hit the departing carriage with your shoe.

 

 

 

3. Throwing shoes at the bride and broom

I only recently came upon this tradition when writing about the origins of wedding receptions. Throwing shoes at the newlywed couple started back in the Tudor period in England (1500s). As the bride and groom drove away in their carriage, wedding guests threw their shoes at them because they believed it was good luck if you hit the vehicle. Needless to say, as a wedding custom, throwing shoes is no longer practiced. The custom changed to tying old shoes to the back of the carriage, which then evolved here in the States to using aluminum cans.

4. Throwing the bouquet

The custom of the bride carrying a flower bouquet is an interesting one with ancient origins that can be traced back to ancient Rome. Back then brides carried or wore flower garlands because they believed flowers signified new beginnings, fidelity and hope of fertility. By the Middle Ages, instead of flowers, women carried aromatic bunches of garlic, herbs and spices to ward off evil spirits, bad luck, and sickness. Today, the bouquet represents happiness and satisfaction in marriage. So how did throwing the bouquet come about?

Tossing the bridal bouquet to guests started back in medieval times. At that time, it was considered good luck for guests to get a piece of the wedding dress, so guests were eager to go after the bride trying to rip off bits of her dress. Brides started tossing the bouquet as a distraction so they could get away with the dress in one piece. Over time, catching the bouquet became a talisman for good luck to the one who caught it. 

5. Tossing the garter

The custom of throwing the garter started in England and France and came about for the same reason as throwing of the bouquet. In an effort to distract guests who hoped to tear off a piece of the bride’s dress, the groom tossed a garter.

6. Throwing money at the bride and groom

In Greece, throwing money around the bride and groom is one aspect of a dance called the "kalamatiano" or here in the States, the money dance. In Nigeria, this tradition is called the "money spray" In Poland, the money is pinned on the bride during the reception as she dances. The idea behind this tradition is to help the couple out financially as they start their life together. In general, money is either thrown, pinned or handed to the couple while dancing.

Vintage wedding ideas for the modern bride

• While no one wants a loaf of bread tossed at them, wedding bread is rich with symbolism. For a vintage touch, have a special loaf of bride’s bread made for the couple. Just for fun, you might want to include this old custom: Someone holds the loaf and the bride and groom take a bite. Whoever takes the biggest bite will be the head of the household.
• In the Ukraine, after the bride and groom eat the wedding bread, people throw candies and money at them. This tradition represents wishes for financial blessings and abundance.

Photo credits:picryl, pixabay, needpix, Wikimedia, flickr, wikimedia

What is the meaning of the Greek wedding dance handkerchief?

While food plays a huge role in Greek weddings, music and dancing are equally essential. To put it in perspective, Greek culture boasts more than 4,000 traditional dances, so it’s no surprise that dancing is a central part of the wedding celebration. Perhaps the most famous of these is the Money Dance. In this tradition, the dance begins with the bride, the groom, and a handkerchief, and during the dance, family and guests give the couple their wedding gifts in the form of money. That’s right—forget toasters, crystal, or linens. Greeks give the gift everyone truly needs: cash to start their new life together.

Money Dance

Is there a certain kind of handkerchief used?

In traditional Greek weddings, the handkerchief used for dances, especially the Money Dance, is usually a simple but elegant piece of cloth rather than an ordinary handkerchief you’d keep in your pocket. Here’s what’s typical:

Material & Style 

• Often white or ivory, symbolizing purity and celebration.
• Made from linen, cotton, or lace, sometimes with delicate embroidery.
• Can be plain or slightly decorative, but not overly flashy, the focus is on its symbolic use, not the material itself.

Size

• Usually large enough to be held comfortably between two hands, allowing the couple or dancers to grip it without letting go.

Cultural Names

• In Greece, it’s sometimes called a  mantili, meaning handkerchief, or shami in some dialects.

Function in the Dance

• Connects the bride and groom to their guests.

• Provides a surface for guests to attach or drop money during the Money Dance.

So while there’s no strict rule, the handkerchief is traditionally elegant, symbolic, and functional. It’s chosen to honor the custom and the joyous occasion. 

 

The Handkerchief Dance

The Handkerchief Dance is called the handkerchief dance because the leader and the second dancer in line hold onto a handkerchief. In the Greek culture folk dances, like this one, performed today at weddings are believed to have originated from ritual dances in ancient Greece. They make perfect dances for weddings because they are performed by groups arm-in-arm in a line or in an open circle moving counter clockwise. The leader of the group often improvises, while those following repeat the basic steps. 

During the traditional Kalamatianós, because the lead dancer holds the second dancer by the handkerchief instead of the hand, it allows them the freedom to improvise with more elaborate steps.  

 

How to dance the money dance

Like the popular Greek Syrtos dance, the Money Dance (Kalamatianós) is a line dance, and it’s also affectionately called the Bride’s Dance. The celebration begins with the bride and groom dancing together, connected by a handkerchief.

Before the wedding, the parents of the bride and groom prepare for this special moment by pinning together stacks of the largest bills in their currency. Some families even create an elaborate crown made of money for the couple! During the dance, the parents step forward first, draping their money creation over the happy couple and holding hands with them to form the start of a curving line of dancers, all facing right.

Once the parents have done their part, the rest of the guests join in. They pin money onto the couple, or in some regions, they throw money toward them, never coins, of course. The scene is lively and sometimes chaotic, but that’s all part of the Greek wedding tradition. After offering their gifts, guests join the dance line. The dancer at the right end of the line becomes the leader, and may even perform a solo, showing off moves like slapping their thighs while everyone else keeps the basic steps going.

What is the meaning of the Greek wedding dance handkerchief?

In Greek weddings, the handkerchief (or sometimes a small cloth) used in the traditional dance plays a symbolic role. Specifically, during dances like the Kalamatianos or Syrtaki, the handkerchief is held between the hands of dancers, often connecting the bride, groom, or family members with the rest of the wedding party. Here’s what it signifies:

1. Connection and unity – The handkerchief symbolizes the bond between participants and the joining of families through the wedding.

2. Guidance and support – In some dances, especially the “money dance” or “kefi dances”, the handkerchief allows the couple to be guided through the dance while others may throw coins or bills onto it.

3. Tradition and blessing – It represents the passing of good luck, prosperity, and protection to the couple.

The Money Dance is more than just a ritual and the handkerchief isn’t just decorative; it’s a cultural and symbolic tool that reinforces community, blessing, and celebration. It’s a joyful, communal expression of love, prosperity, and celebration, where everyone in attendance becomes part of the couple’s first dance as newlyweds.

Photo credits: Wikimedia