Would you make a good viking bride?

Modern Viking weddings are trending, along with Viking wedding clothes, wedding feasts and more, but when you look at Viking wedding traditions historically, I have to ask: Could you be a Viking Bride? Before you answer that, let’s take a closer look at what they went through.

Viking brides didn’t plan the wedding

Could you stand back and let others plan your wedding without you? The Viking bride’s wedding coordinators and planners were family. She didn’t have any real say in it, not even for the actual marriage ceremony. And as for that ceremony, if you aren’t one for rituals, you wouldn’t cut it as a Viking bride, because in the Viking tradition, each marriage ritual was deemed necessary. Why? Because they were essential to earn the blessings of the gods. This was vital, even down to the day of the week chosen for the wedding. Viking marriages were performed on Fridays because in the Norse religion that was a sacred day to the goddess of marriage.

Viking Marriage – A Union of Families not Just Couples

For Viking brides, the wedding and the preparation leading to it was a long process. While that's still the case for many weddings today, the Viking wedding wasn’t just about the union of a man and woman--it was about the union of families with long-lasting legal consequences. So if you are an independent sort that likes to keep your private life private, you wouldn’t make a good Viking bride because this meant numerous negotiations to determine the “terms” of the marriage which were formally agreed to through legal delegates. This included details like the bride’s dowry, and the groom’s financial holdings and properties. So instead of the bride really having a say, the groom’s family and their delegates were the ones who carried proposals with beneficial terms for the marriage to the bride’s family. On top of this, sometimes, when the dowry was paid, an animal sacrifice was necessary. So if you're an animal lover, probably not a candidate for being a Viking bride. The animals used were associated with gods related to fertility.

• For the god Thor (associated with fertility): a goat
• For the god Freyr (associated with virility and prosperity): a boar or horse
• For the goddess Freyja (along with war, death she was associated with love, sex, beauty, fertility, and gold): a sow

Bathhouse Ritual for the Viking Bride

Before the wedding, Viking brides and grooms were separated so they could get rid of their former “selves” before coming together as husband and wife. For the bride, this required a ritual involving her “maidenhood.” The bride’s mother, married sisters and other married female relatives and friends were involved in this ritual which included removing everything that symbolized her “maiden” standing. For instance, the circlet worn in the hair of Scandinavian girls that symbolized their virginity was removed (and stored for the bride’s future daughter).

The bride's long hair expressed her sexual allure

No Special Wedding Gown

Viking brides didn’t wear an ornate or special dress. Instead the emphasis was on her hair and the wedding crown. What’s interesting is why the hair was the focus. It turns out that in the Viking culture, the hair expressed the bride’s sexual allure and the longer her hair, the better. So if you have short hair or even shoulder length hair, what message would you be sending as a Viking bride? I guess there’s always hair extensions. As for the bridal crown, it was most often a family heirloom crafted of silver.

So could you be a Viking bride? Not able to plan your wedding, forced to hammer out financial terms as two families rather than two individuals, living totally separate and not seeing each other as you got rid of your “old self” and on top of all that, no wedding dress but rather wearing long hair to express your sexual allure! I do like the idea of modern Viking-themed weddings but as for the rituals from the past? That’s where they belong. 

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Ancient Viking wedding traditions

When you think of Vikings, the first thing to come to mind often is the brutality associated with their raping, pillaging, and conquering lifestyle. Yet, unlike the Spartans, Vikings honored several wedding traditions and marriage was the center of the family structure in the Viking culture and quite involved. For instance, planning the wedding required the families of the bride and groom to discuss and settle on inheritances, property transfers and dowries before the wedding could take place. These customs were considered critical for the marriage to be blessed by their deities and weren’t the only thing that took time. While most weddings took place within a year, at times planning could take as much as three years.

Viking wedding customs

Once all these customs were settled, a public wedding ceremony and feast took place. This included many elements common in celebrating marriage today and included vows, a banquet, and of course much partying. However, these nuptials usually went on for at least three days and could easily last a week.

As for the religious aspect of the ceremony, their Old Norse polytheistic religion included many gods and goddesses. Weddings were always held on Friday (Friggas-day) to honor the goddess of marriage. A Norse goddess linked to oaths and pledges was believed to witness the bride and groom reciting their vows, and petitions for blessings may have also been requested from Thor, who was one of their most popular gods. Petitions to the fertility deity Freyr and his goddess sister Freyja, a deity of love, beauty, war and death were also made.  These gods were believed to express human emotions and in some cases were married with a family.

When the wedding could be held was dictated by other things like the weather. For instance, guests would have a hard time traveling in the wither months, and just like today, plans included making arrangements for appropriate accommodations for guests, and making sure there was enough food and drink for everyone for the duration of the festivities. This also included the bridal ale. It was a  legal restriction that the bride and groom drink bridal ale, which meant honey had to be available to make enough of mead for the month following the wedding.

Gifts and rings

The Viking groom presented his bride with the sword of his ancestors which she was to hold in trust for her son. In turn, the bride gave her husband her father's sword. This exchange of gifts of the ancestral swords formed a sacred bond of union which was consecrated by mystic rites under the favor of the presiding deities of wedlock. The bride's gift of her father’s sword, signified the transfer of the father’s guardianship and protection of his daughter as the responsibility was handed over to her new husband. This rite signified the traditions of the family and the continuation of the bloodline. The exchange of rings followed the exchange of swords. The groom offered the bride a ring on the hilt of his new sword, and the bride offered the groom’s wedding ring in the same way on the sword she had received.

Viking marriage heart of family structure

Each tradition and wedding ritual was believed essential to earn the blessings of the gods, as an important steppingstone to becoming a parent, and continuing the Viking bloodline. Marriage was the heart of family structure in Viking culture, but divorce was freely available. 

The ideal bride was expected to be chaste before marriage and a faithful wife, but a clear double standard existed when it came to the man. Viking reasons for chastity weren’t religious but financial. While Vikings could marry for love and not for familial advantage, an unwed maid was a marketable commodity and could bring wealth to her family with a higher bride-price. On the other hand, illegitimate children could actually bring about financial hardship for the woman’s family. The woman’s “value” could also help shape a favorable alliance with other families when she married. However, the only restriction placed on a man's sexual activity was to penalize him with a small fine if he slept with a woman not his wife. However, he could purchase a slave woman to have as a “bed-slave” with no penalty.

 

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