Making a list of who is invited to the wedding and reception
can be quite an event in itself as couples have to determine where to draw the
line, but after that is done, figuring out wedding reception seating can be a
feat in itself. In fact, I’d say it’s probably the least fun part of wedding
planning as you try to figure out what combinations will work out best
socially. Wedding etiquette, when it comes to reception seating, actually
allows room for your preferences and will depend on the parameters of your
venue size and the tables you have to work with. We’ll start with the
traditional bridal table and then look at other options popular today.
Traditional bridal table
The bridal table, also known as the “top table” or “head
table” is the table where the bride and groom are seated. Traditionally, the
bride and groom are seated at the center of a long rectangular table with the
bride on the groom’s right. The maid/matron of honor and best man are seated on
either side of the bride and groom. This arrangement will depend on the seating pattern you
desire. If you want a boy/girl pattern at the bridal table, seat the best man
next to the bride and the maid of honor next to the groom. Otherwise, the
bridesmaids are seated next to the bride and the groomsmen are seated next to
the groom.
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| A bride and groom only table is known as a sweetheart table. |
Bride and groom only table
If the reception is held in a smaller venue, or the bride
and groom want to be the focal point of the reception, or it’s just become too
much hassle deciding who gets to sit at the bridal table, a smaller table for just
the bride and groom is another option. Traditionally the groom sits on the
right of the bride. If you go this route, you have a couple of options of where
to seat your wedding party. You can set up a table designated for the wedding
party, or they can be seated with the rest of your guests at the table of honor
or with other close friends.
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| A sweetheart table only seats the bride and groom. |
Table of honor
The table of honor is situated near the bridal table. Here
the parents of the bride and groom are seated along with the wedding officiant
and grandparents.
Family table
What if you come from a close-knit family and you want your
families at the bridal table? Believe it or not, this arrangement is considered
“traditional” in Ireland. If you want to follow this etiquette, parents of the
couples sit on either side of the bride and groom along with the maid of honor
and best
man. Parents of the groom next to the groom and parents of the bride beside
the bride. Or they can be seated at the ends of the table or directly next to
the couple. Siblings of the bride and groom fill in the remaining seats and all
enjoy the meal as one big, happy family. (Hopefully.)
Seating for wedding guests
Now that we’ve covered the bridal table what about the seating
for the rest of the guests? That will, again, depend on your venue as well as
who you’ve invited. However, wedding etiquette dictates that the table closest
to the bride and groom be reserved for the couple’s closest family and friends.
Where are ring bearers and flower girls seated?
If the wedding party includes ring bearers and flower girls
you have a variety of options. Not every child is the same so you will have to
make your decision on where to seat them based on who they are.
- If you think they are mature enough to dine with adults who aren’t their parents they can be seated at the head table.
- If they are younger, but their parents are in the wedding party, then they can still be seated at the bridal table.
- Younger children whose parents are seated at one of the other tables at the reception will probably be happiest seated with their parents.
- Set up a “children’s table” complete with activities just for them.
Seating at a wedding reception can be a sensitive issue. While
there is no cut and dried rules to follow, tradition can help you make the
tough decisions.