The day you received your engagement ring is a day you’ll never forget. It’s a story that will pass to friends and family and maybe even generations. The ring holds special memories, but do you wear your engagement ring when you walk down the aisle?

Do you wear your engagement ring on your wedding day?

Many brides-to-be don’t think about what to do with their engagement ring on their wedding day, until that day! Or maybe at the rehearsal. If you’re reading this to find out what to do about your engagement ring on the day of your wedding, relax. You have a number of options.

What to do with your engagement ring on your wedding day?

First, you can wear your engagement ring if you want, but it does tend to make things a little awkward during the ring exchange if you follow wedding tradition. Traditionally, the groom slips the wedding ring onto the ringfinger of the left hand during the vow exchange. Wedding ring tradition also places the wedding ring on the finger before the engagement ring. So if you wear the engagement ring, you might have to pause to remove it with nervous fingers and then slip it back in place after the wedding band is on.

This is one of those personal choices. I think it is an unnecessary risk as I’ve been to a wedding where the ring was dropped and disappeared under pews. Wedding guests hunted for it dressed in their wedding finery. It did create a memory, but if it isn’t the type of memory you want to add to your special day. Here are some alternatives to consider:

• Wear your engagement ring on your right hand for the ceremony. Once your wedding ring is in place, you can move it to your left hand or wait until after the ceremony.
• Make the engagement ring part of the ring ceremony with instructions for the groom to place the wedding band on the finger first, followed by the engagement ring.
• Wear your engagement ring on your left hand, and have the groom place the wedding band on top of the engagement ring. After the ceremony you can put them right. (Talk to the wedding officiant about this plan and ask if any problem exists from a religious standpoint).
• Give the engagement ring to trusted family member, friend, or someone in the wedding party the Maid of Honor to hold during the wedding. You can retrieve it after the ceremony and still have it available for photos. If you choose this option, make a plan for the ring the return of the ring after the ceremony.
• Wear your engagement ring on a delicate chain as a necklace for the ceremony.

From ancient times, the ring exchange is a tradition that represents the commitment two people make to each other on their wedding day. The last option is to omit the ring exchange ceremony and opt for an alternative ritual like handfasting. If you do something like this, you can always choose to exchange vows with a ring exchange privately.

When did men start wearing wedding rings?

When did men start wearing wedding rings? When you look at the history of wedding rings, it is speculated that wedding rings in general date all the way back to ancient Egypt. At that time, couples exchanged rings as a symbol of their love, but the ring exchange wasn’t part of any particular ceremony. Later, in ancient Rome, the tradition of metal wedding bands started with brides being presented with two rings -- an iron ring to be worn around the house and a gold ring which was worn out in public. But what about male wedding rings? 

Male wedding rings: The history

In today’s western culture, the man’s wedding ring is as important as the woman’s ring as part of the marriage ceremony and the couple's married life together. 

Wedding rings are considered symbols on more than one level. First, it is a symbol of the bride and groom’s relationship as they join to become husband and wife. They also symbolize unending love and just wearing the ring represents the fact that the two people are married and no longer "available." But the tradition of men wearing wedding rings is actually a fairly new addition to the wedding tradition, because while women have worn wedding rings since ancient times, the practice of men wearing wedding rings only dates back to the 20^th century and it wasn’t for the reasons we think of for wearing wedding rings today. 

The practice actually started during World Wars I and II, when soldiers wore wedding rings as a reminder of their wives back home. It wasn’t until after the Korean War that wedding rings for men took on the sentimental value we associate with them today. At that point in time, matching wedding bands grew in popularity and rings designed specifically with men in mind became available.

Silicone wedding rings make a safe alternative for everyday wear

Things to consider when choosing male wedding rings today

While male wedding rings have become a traditional part of today’s culture, when choosing a wedding ring for a man a lot of different elements of life should be taken into consideration. For instance:

• The width. Is it comfortable on your finger? Remember you'll be wearing this ring the rest of your life.
• Metal choice. Do you need a more durable metal or will gold or silver suit your lifestyle?
• Do you want the ring engraved?
• What kind of finish do you want? And what about other detailing?
• What does the man do for a living? Many jobs don’t allow men to wear a ring for safety reasons. However, today, silicone wedding rings are crafted to be attractive, comfortable, heat resistant and non-conductive and make a “safe” alternative for everyday wear and are allowed at many jobs that don't permit metal rings to be worn.

So really the same guidelines apply to men and women when choosing wedding rings. You want to take lifestyle as well as preferences into account. Traditionally, men wore plain metal bands because most men worked with their hands, but ring styles have changed along with the times. Men who don’t have to worry about safety or dirt collecting in intricate designs can choose a ring based on how it looks and feels with choices in metals now ranging beyond gold and silver to include more durable choices like stainless steel, tungsten and titanium.

Meaning of male wedding rings today

Of course the exact meaning attributed to a wedding ring will vary depending on the culture. For example, many cultures wear the wedding ring on the right hand to represent the wedding vows taken because the right hand is the hand used when taking an oath. For others it is worn on the left hand based on the ancient belief that the vein of love runs through the ring finger of the left hand. A secondary reason for the left hand is that usually the right hand is more dominant and so the ring would go through less wear and tear being worn on the left hand. But beyond all this, the meaning of the male wedding ring is the same as the ring worn by the bride. It’s a symbol of eternal love shared by the couple.

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Is an heirloom ring right for you?

I’ve started collecting legacy stories from readers related to weddings, marriage and love, and it brought to mind heirloom rings. As I sit here writing this post, my mother’s wedding ring is on my finger. I always thought I’d pass it on to another, like when mom’s first great-grandchild was married, but so far, I haven’t found the person who wants it. If you have an heirloom ring available, you are fortunate, but if you come from a large family you may find yourself in competition for who gets the ring. Before I talk about whether or not an heirloom ring is right for you, let’s take a look at what it is along with the pros and cons of going with an heirloom engagement or wedding ring.

What is an heirloom ring?

An heirloom ring is an engagement or wedding ring passed on to another member of the family getting married or a ring with an interesting backstory that you bring into your family. Knowing the backstory, how the ring came into your family can make the wedding proposal even more special for people with close family ties or an interest in their families’ genealogies. 

The story of the ring is a way to keep family history alive for another generation. And when you wear an heirloom ring, your story is added to it. For instance, I only have mom’s wedding ring because her engagement ring was smashed when she was trying to move a refrigerator to clean under it. The ring saved her finger. They brought it to a jeweler who happened to lose it diamond and all (which I never believed) and she never got it back. When my father passed away, Mom gave the ring to me. It goes with my white gold set which I picked because I liked what Mom wore—white gold.

Benefits and drawbacks of an heirloom ring

One of the benefits of choosing an heirloom engagement ring or wedding ring is that they are unique. If you are a person who likes that one-of-a-kind sense of style, an heirloom ring offers that. Some vintage styles, like the halo engagement ring, are back in style, but not everyone likes the vintage look. If you’re partner isn’t keen on an heirloom ring because of its style, that can be an issue, but it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. If the family doesn’t mind, the ring can be broken up and made into a new ring or rings with the vintage elements included. However, don’t assume you can reset or modify the ring without talking with the family about it.

Another drawback occurs if more than one person wants the ring. Again, as I just mentioned, the ring can be broken up and made into a new ring or rings to satisfy everyone. The trick is to figure out who gets what part of the ring(s) for resetting purposes. BUT before you decide to do this, know that often the original setting has value that may be lost when/if you redesign. Instead of redesigning, you might want to set up a consultation with a jeweler to get ideas for modernizing the ring without redesigning the setting. Just saying, once you change it, you can’t go back.

What to do with an heirloom ring

Before I finish up here, let me say that if you are the one giving up the heirloom ring, you must realize that it no longer belongs to you. Let it go once it is on another’s finger. With that said, if you are the one who has received an heirloom ring you have several choices:

• Wear it. This is a great way honor the original owner of the ring.
• Put it away for a time
• Redesign it
• Share it with others by breaking it up

If the ring has no sentimental value to anyone in the family feel free to:

• Trade it for something else
• Sell it

If you inherited the ring you have the freedom to do what you want with it, but I suggest if other family members care about the ring that you take their feelings into consideration if you’re thinking of modifying it. If you do want to sell it, offer it to family members first.

In closing, let me talk to people who wish they had an heirloom ring and don’t. You can buy one you like. Learn it’s backstory and bring it into your family. It’s a great way to get the ring you want with a backstory all its own that can be added to your family history.

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