About Wedding Traditions & Meanings

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Traditional wedding vows vs. writing your own wedding vows


Wedding vows are pledges spoken by the bride and groom to each other. These vows communicate both an intent and a promise as they enter into life together. When making wedding vows, traditionally the bride and groom face each other and the groom is the first to say his vows, followed by the bride. A newer, less-traditional practice is for the couple to say their vows in unison, but that leaves no room for uniqueness or individual vows. When considering traditional wedding vows vs. writing your own wedding vows some couples run into resistance, but that is happening less as more and more couples decide to write their own. After all, where did "traditional" vows come from? Somewhere in the past, someone had to write them, right?

The story behind traditional wedding vows

Various religions have their own traditional wedding vows but for the most part they are very similar. The Jewish, Hindus and Muslim religions don’t really have “vows” in the modern sense of the word. And most of the Eastern Orthodox Wedding Vows are made silently except in the Russian tradition. For the most part, though, people think that the “traditional” vows exchanged between brides and grooms today originated in the Book of Common Prayer which dates back to 1549, but they actually go back farther than that to a Sarum rite used in Medieval England. So really, it isn’t unrealistic to want to step away from vows written in the Middle Ages, and today, couples can find updated religious and non-religious wedding vows with a traditional flavor if they want something more modern but don't feel equipped to write their own vows.

How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows

Writing your own wedding vows

Writing your own wedding vows sounds like a good idea on the front end, and for creative writers it can be an exercise in drawing out the exact words hidden in their heart. But not everyone is gifted in that way and for some it takes quite a bit of extra effort. For those who find it difficult or who get stuck in the process, there are handy tools including the 5 steps to getting over your wedding vows writer’s block.

Here is a list of additional resources to help write your wedding vows:

Funny marriage vows: Injecting a little humor in your wedding vows is a great way to ease the tension for couples who find the formal vow-taking a bit nerve wracking. Shutterfly offers a funny marriage vows generator to help couples find ideas when trying to write wedding vows that are a little more lighthearted but still meaningful.

Marriage vows in the Bible: While the Bible doesn’t offer specific wedding vows, it considers marriage itself to be a vow. When writing your own wedding vows, Bible verses on marriage, love, and relationships offers poetic language that expresses what it means to be in love and to pledge yourself to your spouse for the rest of your life. Use these verses to help define your own vows.


Wedding vows template: Sometimes all you need is the guidance of a template or outline to help you find the write words when writing our own vows.

Once you written you've written your wedding vows, read them through again and again to become familiar with saying them. Read them out loud to see if there are any words that don't flow or cause you to verbally stumble. That way you'll be ready to express yourself and say exactly what you want to say on your big day.


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Photo credits: flickr

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