Best gemstones for engagement rings

Diamonds are precious gemstones. I’ve known this since I was a child because it is my birthstone. I used to joke that I would get my birthstone ring when I got engaged. And that became my reality. I’d never really thought of another stone for an engagement ring because engagement rings were diamond rings. Or so I thought.

 

 

Popularity of the diamond engagement ring

Back in the early 1900s the British owned DeBeers Group opened diamond mines in Africa and diamonds became more accessible. But in the 1930s, the United States fell into economic hard times and the demand for diamond rings dropped. To boost sales, De Beers initiated a marketing campaign that used pictures of glamorous movie stars draped in diamonds. Within three years, diamond sales increased by 50 percent. 

It turns out that the popularity of diamond engagement rings can be traced back to De Beers when they launched the slogan, “A Diamond is Forever.” That was 1947. The diamond's durability (10 on the MOHS hardness scale) carried a message that marriage is forever, and its purity and sparkle became representations of the depth of commitment shared by engaged couples. The meaning associated with the diamond is that of purity, love and fidelity. 

Durability of gemstones

But what kind of engagement rings did we wear before diamond rings? Engagement rings can be traced back to Ancient Rome. The first rings were crafted from flint and bone, and then from copper, silver, and gold in the 2nd century CE. 

As for gemstones they've have been collected by rich and powerful people throughout time as a display of wealth. People in the Middle Ages commonly believed that gemstones held medicinal power that could heal and gemstone rings were used as an antidote for sickness, poisoning, or to ward off evil. Some of these old superstitions are still associated with the modern meanings connected to these rings.

Engagement rings get a lot of wear, and the durability factor of diamonds is one of the reasons they are a popular choice for rings. They are the hardest stone in the world on the MOHS Hardness scale. The most popular gemstone choices other than diamonds include sapphire, ruby, and emerald. Of these, Sapphire and Ruby are the hardest. Emeralds are only rated 7.5 to 8 and will require more care because they can chip or break easier. Other common gemstones for engagement rings include: Aquamarine, amethyst, morganite, opal, and tanzanite. However, many of these stones don’t wear well for people who plan to wear their rings every day.

If you are thinking of selecting a stone other than a diamond, I recommend you choose from gemstones with a rating of 8 or higher for daily wear.

 

Gemstones with MOHS scale number of 8 or higher

Ruby (9): Ruby is among the hardest of the precious stones which makes it a beautiful and wise choice for an engagement ring. These fiery colored gems make a stunning choice when set with diamonds. Most modern rubies are treated to increase their color, transparency, or to mend fractures. With this in mind, I want to point out that vintage ruby  jewelry is less likely to be treated, and may have visible imperfections. 

Ruby meaning: Rubies are thought to have a bold, fiery energy and are attributed with several spiritual properties including healing (mind and body), love, energy, passion, positive visions, vivacity and balance.

1 Carat Natural Diamond And Red Ruby Round Cut Bridal Engagement Ring

 

Sapphire (9): Of the sapphire’s alluring beauty and rich colors, the deep, vivid blue is the most desired traditionally, but sapphires are available in a range of colors, including: fuchsia, green, orange, violet, yellow, and an exceptional padparadscha hue (ancient Sanskrit word used to describe the color of a tropical lotus flower) which is a stunning blend of pink, tangerine and salmon shades. 

Sapphire meaning: heavenly favor, innocence and truth, strength, good health and vitality, and protection against negative energy and spiritual discord.

 

Diamond Sapphire White Gold Ring

Topaz (8 to 10): The most common color of Topaz is blue, but it is also available in colorless, pink, yellow, and peach hues. 

Topaz meaning: Nobility, love, passion, and purpose and because of its fiery energy, this gemstone is also associated with self-esteem and good fortune.

Spinel (8 to 10): Spinel owes its gorgeous color to chromium, much like rubies and emeralds do, and is available in a wide variety of colors: black, blue, brown, green, lavender, red, violet. Red is the rarest color and so more expensive. Blue is the second rarest. 

Spinel meaning: A stone of hope, revitalization, and joy of being alive.

Alexandrite (8.5): Alexandrite has excellent durability and doesn’t have the tendency to break when struck. When it comes to color, this stone is unique. Its ability to absorb different wavelengths of light in varied ways depending on the direction of incidence of the rays or their plane of polarization, often result in the appearance of different colors depending on the direction of view. For this reason, alexandrite is defined as a color change variety of gemstone that switches from one color appearance to another, depending on the particular type of lighting. Typically, alexandrite displays a blue-green hue in daylight, while it appears red in incandescent light. The rarest specimens of color-change alexandrite have either yellow green or plain green color.

Alexandrite meaning: Alexandrite is thought to bring luck, prosperity, intellect, and balance between the physical and the spiritual. As an engagement ring it can bring you into the balance of who you are.

14k White Gold Genuine Emerald Swirled Engagement Ring

 

Emerald (7.5 to 8): Emerald isn’t as tough as ruby, sapphire or topaz but it has fair to good durability. However, emeralds are brittle due to their inclusions and may chip or even break if knocked around. This means it requires more care in wearing than the harder gemstones, but with proper care an emerald will last for generations. 

Emerald meaning: The emerald symbolizes truth and love. In ancient Rome it was considered the gemstone of the goddess of love, Venus.

Aquamarine (7.5 to 8): Aquamarines are hard, but also brittle. They are a shade between green and blue which often display conchoidal fractures when broken or chipped. 

Aquamarine meaning: Aquamarine represents trusting and letting go. In ancient times, this gemstone was thought to be the treasure of mermaids and sailors used it as a talisman to bring good luck on the open waters.

Benefits of gemstone engagement rings

Gemstone engagement rings open the opportunity to let your personality and uniqueness shine along with your ring. Plus, it will cost you less than a diamond engagement ring. However, understand the risks associated with the gemstone of your choice so you know how to care for it.

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Photo credits: Image by starbright from Pixabay

Adding a quaich ceremony to your wedding

Couples looking to add something vintage but unique to their wedding experience might want to consider adding a quaich ceremony to their plans. This involves a traditional Scottish two-handled cup known as a quaich (from the Scottish Gaelic cuach which means “cup”). While it is called a cup, I'd say it looks more like a shallow bowl with two handles. It is sometimes called the “cup of friendship” and often is referred to as the “love cup” but no matter what you call it, it brings a rich tradition to any wedding with a quaich ceremony. It can also be used at the reception for the couple to take their first toast together and it makes a lovely keepsake to be handed down to future generations.

History of the quaich cup

The meaning behind the traditional quaich cup is not a legendary love story like the German Bridal Cup. What history we do have is permeated with myth and conjecture. What we do know is that its original purpose was as a vessel to drink whiskey or brandy. Some say the invention of cup was inspired by the fact that Highlanders drank a dram from scallop shells before they had the quaich. Others date it back to the Celtic Druids who are said to have used them in their ceremonies. The fact is, no one really knows for sure. 

Another thing we do know is that the original cups were much simpler than what we have today. They were carved from a single block of wood and were commonly offered to a visitor with a welcoming drink.

Meaning of the quaich cup

Originally, the humble wooden quaich represented friendship. So offering the cup to welcome a visitor was kind of like a handshake presented by a clan chief or a crofter. But it was more than a handshake, because as the cup was passed from one man to another it required them to use both hands. That meant they couldn’t be holding a weapon. It was a symbol of trust between fellow drinkers.

It wasn’t until the 17^th century that goldsmiths started to craft quaich cups using precious metals. At this point, the shape of the cup was also adapted to be less clunky and daintier in order to suit the refined tastes of the upper classes of the Scottish Lowlands.

Quaich wedding ceremony

A simple quaich ceremony practiced at weddings taps into the use of the quaich as a symbolic gesture of welcome to the drinker. One possibility is to first have the groom's parents hand the cup to the bride. Then have the bride's parents hand it to the groom. As this is done, everyone takes a sip from the cup as a gesture of welcoming new members to the family. 

Some couples pass the quaich to the wedding party too as a symbol of everyone sharing in the happy couple's love and happiness. I suggest if you want to go that route, that you supply individual quaichs for each person to drink from. For a special touch, have them engraved with the date of the wedding and the couples’ names. 

There isn't an exact script to follow or a specific practice when it comes to the quaich ceremony. If you are looking for more inspiration, the Argyll and Butte Council offers a wealth of ideas. If you plan to add the quaich ceremony to your wedding because you have Scottish ancestral roots, you might want to pair it with the handfasting ceremony as another strong cultural element that offers layers of symbolism and special meaning.

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Photo credits: Apie / CC BY-SA, By Robin-wood - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0