The day you received your engagement ring is a day you’ll never forget. It’s a story that will pass to friends and family and maybe even generations. The ring holds special memories, but do you wear your engagement ring when you walk down the aisle?
Do you wear your engagement ring on your wedding day?
Many brides-to-be don’t think about what to do with their engagement ring on their wedding day, until that day! Or maybe at the rehearsal. If you’re reading this to find out what to do about your engagement ring on the day of your wedding, relax. You have a number of options.
What to do with your engagement ring on your wedding day?
First, you can wear your engagement ring if you want, but it does tend to make things a little awkward during the ring exchange if you follow wedding tradition. Traditionally, the groom slips the wedding ring onto the ringfinger of the left hand during the vow exchange. Wedding ring tradition also places the wedding ring on the finger before the engagement ring. So if you wear the engagement ring, you might have to pause to remove it with nervous fingers and then slip it back in place after the wedding band is on.
This is one of those personal choices. I think it is an unnecessary risk as I’ve been to a wedding where the ring was dropped and disappeared under pews. Wedding guests hunted for it dressed in their wedding finery. It did create a memory, but if it isn’t the type of memory you want to add to your special day. Here are some alternatives to consider:
Wear your engagement ring on your right hand for the ceremony. Once your wedding ring is in place, you can move it to your left hand or wait until after the ceremony.
Make the engagement ring part of the ring ceremony with instructions for the groom to place the wedding band on the finger first, followed by the engagement ring.
Wear your engagement ring on your left hand, and have the groom place the wedding band on top of the engagement ring. After the ceremony you can put them right. (Talk to the wedding officiant about this plan and ask if any problem exists from a religious standpoint).
Give the engagement ring to trusted family member, friend, or someone in the wedding party the Maid of Honor to hold during the wedding. You can retrieve it after the ceremony and still have it available for photos. If you choose this option, make a plan for the ring the return of the ring after the ceremony.
Wear your engagement ring on a delicate chain as a necklace for the ceremony.
From ancient times, the ring exchange is a tradition that represents the
commitment two people make to each other on their wedding day. The last
option is to omit the ring exchange ceremony and opt for an alternative
ritual like handfasting. If you do something like this, you can always
choose to exchange vows with a ring exchange privately.
When you think of an engagement ring today, a sparkling diamond likely comes to mind. But the diamond ring, while iconic, is actually a relatively recent tradition rooted in European royalty. The history of the engagement ring stretches much further back—centuries before diamonds became the standard.
Some ancient engagements rings were made of bone.
Ancient Beginnings
Engagement rings can be traced all the way back to ancient Egypt. Early rings were made from hemp, leather, bone, or ivory and were worn on the fourth finger of the left hand, a tradition that persists today. Egyptians believed this finger contained the "vena amoris," or vein of love, directly connected to the heart. The circle itself symbolized eternal love.
Some ancient engagement rings were even made of bone, showing that the idea of marking a promise long predated precious metals and gemstones.
Poesy Ring
Greek and Roman Influence
After Alexander the Great conquered Egypt in 332 BC, Greek culture adopted the Egyptian practice of betrothal rings. Most rings were simple iron bands, though wealthier couples used copper, silver, or gold. Engraving inscriptions, poems, or mottos on rings became a tradition during this era, laying the groundwork for the poesy rings of later centuries.
Medieval Diamond Rings
Diamond engagement rings were rare in the Middle Ages. A landmark moment came in 1477 when Archduke Maximilian of Austria gave Mary of Burgundy a diamond ring, cementing diamonds as a symbol of love and commitment among European nobility. Italians of the period also used gemstones as part of the bride price, believing diamonds were forged in the flames of love.
By 1518, even children of royalty received diamond rings as part of arranged marriage agreements—such as Princess Mary, daughter of King Henry VIII, who was promised a diamond ring for her future union with the infant son of King Francis I of France.
Poesy Rings and Gimmel Rings
For most people, expensive gemstones were out of reach. From the 15th to 17th centuries in Eastern Europe, poesy rings—plain gold bands engraved with short inscriptions—served as meaningful betrothal rings.
Meanwhile, in Renaissance Ireland, gimmel rings became popular. These interlocking rings often came in sets: one for the bride, one for the groom, and one held by the best man until the wedding day.
Victorian Era Engagement Ring
The Victorian Era and Colored Gemstones
Engagement rings evolved along with social and legal norms. By the late 19th century, rings often featured colored gemstones:
Rubies symbolized passionate love.
Sapphires carried divine favor.
Emeralds were associated with good fortune and had historical connections to Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, and Venus, the Roman goddess of passion.
Engagement rings also became a form of financial security. Dowries faded, and women gained legal rights to pursue claims if engagements were broken. Rings made of rubies, opals, emeralds, and turquoise became more common among non-royalty.
Today diamond and gold engagement rings are traditional.
The Modern Diamond Ring
The modern single solitaire diamond ring as we know it today was popularized in the U.S. by Tiffany & Co. in 1886. Tiffany introduced a setting that showcased the diamond's natural brilliance, replacing the traditional bezel mount. The design quickly became the most requested engagement ring style in America.
In 1947, De Beers launched the famous marketing campaign, “A Diamond is Forever,” cementing diamonds as the ultimate symbol of love and commitment. Today, approximately 80% of American brides wear a diamond engagement ring.
Engagement rings have transformed over millennia—from hemp and bone, to gold and gemstones, to the diamond solitaire we know today. While styles and materials have changed, the underlying meaning has remained the same: a visible, lasting symbol of love and commitment.
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Diamonds are precious gemstones. I’ve
known this since I was a child because it is my birthstone. I used to joke that
I would get my birthstone ring when I got engaged. And that became my reality. I’d never really thought of
another stone for an engagement ring because engagement rings were diamond
rings. Or so I thought.
Popularity of the diamond engagement ring
Back in the early 1900s the British owned DeBeers Group opened diamond mines in
Africa and diamonds became more accessible. But in the 1930s, the United States fell into economic hard times and the demand for diamond
rings dropped. To boost sales, De
Beers initiated a marketing campaign that used pictures of glamorous movie stars draped
in diamonds. Within three years, diamond sales increased by 50 percent.
It
turns out that the popularity of diamond engagement rings can be traced back to
De Beers when they launched the slogan, “A Diamond is Forever.” That was 1947. The
diamond's durability (10 on the MOHS hardness scale) carried a message that marriage is forever, and its purity and
sparkle became representations of the depth of commitment shared by engaged couples. The
meaning associated with the diamond is that of purity, love and fidelity.
Durability of gemstones
But what kind of engagement rings did we wear before diamond rings? Engagement
rings can be traced back to Ancient Rome. The first rings were crafted from flint and bone, and then from copper,
silver, and gold in the 2nd century CE.
As for gemstones they've have been collected by rich and powerful people throughout time as a display of wealth. People in the Middle Ages commonly believed that gemstones held medicinal power that could heal and gemstone rings were
used as an antidote for sickness, poisoning, or to ward off evil. Some of these old superstitions are still associated with the modern meanings connected to these rings.
Engagement rings get a lot of wear, and the durability factor of diamonds is
one of the reasons they are a popular choice for rings. They are the hardest stone
in the world on the MOHS Hardness scale. The most popular gemstone
choices other than diamonds include sapphire, ruby, and emerald. Of these, Sapphire
and Ruby are the hardest. Emeralds are only rated 7.5 to 8 and will require
more care because they can chip or break easier. Other common gemstones for engagement rings include: Aquamarine, amethyst,
morganite, opal, and tanzanite. However, many of these stones don’t wear well
for people who plan to wear their rings every day.
If you are thinking of selecting a
stone other than a diamond, I recommend you choose from gemstones with a rating
of 8 or higher for daily wear.
Gemstones with MOHS scale number of 8 or
higher
Ruby (9): Ruby is among the hardest of
the precious stones which makes it a beautiful and wise choice for an
engagement ring. These fiery colored gems make a stunning choice when set with
diamonds. Most modern rubies are treated to increase their color, transparency,
or to mend fractures. With this in mind, I want to point out that vintage ruby jewelry is less likely to be treated, and may
have visible imperfections.
Ruby meaning: Rubies are thought to have a bold,
fiery energy and are attributed with several spiritual properties including
healing (mind and body), love, energy, passion, positive visions, vivacity and
balance.
Sapphire (9): Of the sapphire’s alluring
beauty and rich colors, the deep, vivid blue is the most desired traditionally,
but sapphires are available in a range of colors, including: fuchsia, green, orange,
violet, yellow, and an exceptional padparadscha hue (ancient Sanskrit word used to describe the color of a tropical lotus flower) which is a stunning blend
of pink, tangerine and salmon shades.
Sapphire meaning: heavenly favor,
innocence and truth, strength, good health and vitality, and protection against
negative energy and spiritual discord.
Topaz (8 to 10):The most common color of Topaz is blue, but it is also available in
colorless, pink, yellow, and peach hues.
Topaz meaning: Nobility, love,
passion, and purpose and because of its fiery energy, this gemstone is also associated
with self-esteem and good fortune.
Spinel (8 to 10): Spinel owes its gorgeous
color to chromium, much like rubies and emeralds do, and is available in a wide variety
of colors: black, blue, brown, green, lavender, red, violet. Red is the
rarest color and so more expensive. Blue is the second rarest.
Spinel meaning:
A stone of hope, revitalization, and joy of being alive.
Alexandrite (8.5): Alexandrite has
excellent durability and doesn’t have the tendency to break when struck. When
it comes to color, this stone is unique. Its ability to absorb different wavelengths of light in varied ways depending on the direction of incidence of the rays or their
plane of polarization, often result in the appearance of different
colors depending on the direction of view. For this reason, alexandrite
is defined as a color change variety of
gemstone that switches from one color appearance to another, depending on the
particular type of lighting. Typically, alexandrite displays a blue-green hue
in daylight, while it appears red in incandescent light. The rarest specimens
of color-change alexandrite have either yellow green or plain green color.
Alexandrite meaning: Alexandrite is thought to bring luck, prosperity, intellect, and balance between the physical and the spiritual. As an engagement ring it can bring you into the balance of who you are.
Emerald (7.5 to
8): Emerald isn’t as tough as ruby, sapphire or topaz but it has fair to good durability. However, emeralds are brittle due to their inclusions and may chip or even break if
knocked around. This means it requires more care in wearing than the harder gemstones,
but with proper care an emerald will last for generations.
Emerald meaning: The
emerald symbolizes truth and love. In ancient Rome it was considered the
gemstone of the goddess of love, Venus.
Aquamarine (7.5 to 8): Aquamarines are
hard, but also brittle. They are a shade between green and blue which often display
conchoidal fractures when broken or chipped.
Aquamarine meaning: Aquamarine represents
trusting and letting go. In ancient times, this gemstone was thought to be the
treasure of mermaids and sailors used it as a talisman to bring good luck on
the open waters.
Benefits of gemstone engagement rings
Gemstone engagement rings open the
opportunity to let your personality and uniqueness shine along with your ring.
Plus, it will cost you less than a diamond engagement ring. However, understand
the risks associated with the gemstone of your choice so you know how to care
for it.
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Some links in this post are affiliate links. We are a
participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate
advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking
to amazon.com and affiliate sites.
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