Are Wedding Vows Biblical?

Today, wedding vows are a common part of most wedding ceremonies. In most cases, the actual exchange of marital vows in church weddings is preceded by a short speech given by the person marrying the couple, followed by personal or standard vows chosen by the bride and groom. Often, Christian couples incorporate Bible verses about love and marriage in their wedding vows but are wedding vows themselves biblical? 

God is love wedding bulletin

Wedding Vows in the Bible

Technically, wedding vows are not even mentioned in the Bible. Not specifically or in passing. And technically, since the early church met in homes, church weddings in a special church building weren’t even around until Rome started changing pagan temples into church buildings in the early 4^th century. So the concept of Christian vows and church wedding are relatively new traditions compared to some and neither are found in the Bible.

Where Did Christian Wedding Vows Originate

Where did the idea of wedding vows originate? It's not certain, but the modern concept of wedding vows for Christian marriages in the Western world can be traced back to 1662, in a book titled the Anglican Book of Common Prayer. In fact, we get much of our “modern” marriage ceremony practice from this book. For instance, it includes a ‘solemnization of matrimony’ section which includes familiar lines like: “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today,” as well as the famous “in sickness and health, until death do them part.”

Use of Bible Verses in Wedding Vows

While wedding vows aren’t exactly spelled out in the Bible, Scripture is often used to generate vows for Christian couples. For instance, “I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine,” from Song of Solomon 6:3, is often recited in Jewish and Christian weddings. Scripture from 1 Corinthians 13 (also referred to as the ‘love chapter’ is another popular go to section of the Bible.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).

While wedding vows may not be spelled out in the Bible, the practice of making vows to God is found in both the Old and New Testaments. Wedding vows recited by brides and grooms who desire God to be included in every aspect of their lives, recite these vows to each other before God.

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Tradition of the consummation ceremony

Wedding traditions range from precious to archaic and strange. If I say the words, “wedding night,” what comes to mind? In today’s Western cultures, couples work to create a special romantic destination that’s both special and memorable. But that wasn’t always the case. Just a few hundred years ago, the tradition of the bedding ceremony, also known as the consummation ceremony was a wedding night celebration that included witnesses…sometimes a gallery of witnesses. 

Consummation meaning

 

In Webster’s 1818 Dictionary, the definition of the word “consummation” in relation to marriage is “the most intimate union of the sexes, which completes the connubial relation.” Today’s Cambridge Dictionary defines it as “the act of making a marriage or romantic relationship complete by having sex.” The consummation ceremony provided witness to this act.

The Consummation Ceremony

The purpose of the consummation ceremony was to confirm the consummation of the marriage. According to Eric Metaxas, author of Martin Luther: The Man Who Rediscovered God and Changed the World, “Sixteenth-century marriages in Germany were typically two-stage affairs. There was first a small ceremony with a handful of witnesses and then a larger event with a church procession and guests from out of town. But the initial event was capped with the consummation of the marriage, so the marriage—actually called the Kopulation, which is etymologically related to the more anodyne word “couple”—was in fact consummated before the wedding.” If the consummation didn’t take place, then there was no wedding. Today, we think of things the other way around. Marriage ceremony, THEN the consummation of the marriage. But back them the consummation came first—in full view of the witnesses. In most traditions, these witnesses included family, friends, and neighbors.

 

According to historian, Alison Weir, this consummation ritual was also practiced by the royals in in medieval times. “The royal newlyweds were put to bed by their wedding guests, toasted, and then blessed by a bishop or priest.” Historian Lucy Worseley elaborates further saying the “room would have been full of people cheering them on.”

What prompted me to look deeper into this topic is that Martin Luther (a former monk) and his wife Kathie (a former nun) took part in their betrothal night consummation with witnesses in the room. Among their witnesses were Luther’s closest friend, Justus Jonas, a man by the name of Lucas Cranach and his wife, Barbara, who Kathie lived with before the wedding, as well as another local friend named John Apel who was chosen by the university to serve as the “official witness” to the marriage. In Luther’s day, they considered the marriage bed to be holy, and celebrated in the consummation with a joy shared by all present.

In general, witnesses of the bedding ceremony watched the bride and groom upon their wedding bed from within the room. Sometimes, the witnesses left just before the actual consummation, but in other cases people circled the bed to be sure the consummation was clearly viewed. In some situations, witnesses observed the couple from an observation deck above the bed. Can you imagine!

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Thanks so much for being part of our success.

 

Source: Martin Luther: The Man Who Rediscovered God and Changed the World

 

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