6 Halloween traditions that tell you who to marry

Today, Halloween is celebrated around the world. For most of us, the word conjures up dressing up in costume, scary decorations, handing out candy to children who come to the door and plenty of costume parties. But did you know it is a day of fruits and vegetables to help you learn about who you are going to marry?

Ancient origins of Halloween

Before we get to those traditions, let's take a quick look at Halloween’s origins. They can be traced back about 2,000 years to a Gaelic festival called Samhain, held at the end of the harvest season. At that time, the Celts celebrated the start of the new year on November 1. The celebration of the Festival of Samhain was a two-day event which started on October 31. 

People at that time believed that on the eve of the new year, dead spirits could come back to life and so the people wore masks and other disguises to blend in with the evil spirits. Why? They thought that if these spirits happened to pay a visit, the disguises would trick them into thinking they were one of them. 

By 43 A.D. the Romans picked up the tradition and made it their own. They had a custom of celebrating the passing of the dead in October on a day they called Feralia, and so they combined that with the celebration of Samhain. By the 9^th century, the Catholic church picked up on the celebration to include all saints and martyrs, and November 2 was labeled “All Soul’s Day.” This was most likely an attempt to replace the Celtic festival with a church-approved day.

 

6 Halloween traditions that tell you who you will marry

Ring in the mashed potatoes: One long-forgotten Halloween tradition deals with figuring out who you were going to marry. Imagine an 18th-century Irish cook burying a ring in her mashed potatoes on Halloween night in hopes it would bring true love to the guest who found it. (Every time I hear ideas like this, I can’t help but thinking of the unlucky person choking to death instead of finding true love).

In early 20^th century Scotland, hosts mashed up a big tub of potatoes and hit the ring, button or coin, and a thimble. Guests gathered around the tub with spoon in hand and lights off. Each dipped their spoon into the spuds in hopes of getting the ring. If a boy found the button or coin with his spoon, he was destined to be a bachelor all his life. If a girl found the thimble, she would be a spinster, but the person who found the ring was fated for marriage and happiness.

 

Naming hazelnuts: The Scottish tradition of naming hazelnuts was safer health-wise. Fortune-tellers suggested that eligible young women name hazelnuts for each of their suitors. Once named, they tossed them into the fire blazing in the hearth, one at a time. If a nut burned to ash instead of exploding, the name of that nut signified the girl’s future husband. With that said, I’ve also heard that the opposite interpretation was true saying that the nut that burned predicted that the love wouldn’t last.

Eating dessert before bed: Another Halloween wedding superstition includes the consumption of a sugary treat made with walnuts, hazelnuts and nutmeg. It had be eaten before bed on October 31. Women who followed this practice were said to dream about their future husbands.

Apple peels: Another food-related Halloween superstition includes apple peels. Young women threw the peels over their shoulders and turned to see how they landed on the floor and then interpreted them as the initials of their future husbands. The catch is, you had to keep the peel from a whole apple in one piece!

 

Egg yolks in water: This Halloween marriage-predicting superstition started with egg yolks floating in a bowl of water. Divination using eggs, known as Oomancy, took on various forms. Candles are another common tool for divination. This particular practice uses both. A woman stood in a dark room holding a candle in front of a mirror to try to learn about her future. She peered at the egg yolks floating in the bowl of water and then looked over her shoulder to see her future husband’s face. I wonder how many times had to try to see something. And what if they saw a face they didn’t like?

 

Bobbing for apples: This last superstition is one we are familiar with, bobbing for apples. Fun, right? Author Joan Morgan, co-author of The New Book of Apples says, "apples, apple peels and even pips have long been used to peer into the romantic future." Bobbing for apples is one of these ways and became a popular game. Girls marked their apples in a way no one else would know and added them into a barrel of water. Then, potential beaus tried to grab the floating apples with their teeth. The first one to successfully get an apple was thought to be the first one that would walk down the aisle.

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History of Hera, the ironic goddess of marriage in Greek mythology

As we look at wedding traditions, I thought it would be fun to look at mythology for a change, and what better place to start than the iconic, Hera, goddess of marriage in Greek mythology. She is one of the twelve Olympians and within that mythos, she is the sister and wife of the god of the sky, Zeus. In art, she is often depicted with the animals she considered sacred, and is regularly portrayed wearing a high cylindrical crown and seated on a throne.

Hera, goddess of marriage

Within Greek mythology, Hera is the daughter of the Titans Cronus and Rhea, and she rules over Mount Olympus as queen of the gods. What exactly does the queen of the gods do? That role is multifaceted. It not only includes being the goddess of marriage, but also includes goddess of women, family, and childbirth. In these roles, she is considered the patroness and protectress of married women. It was believed that she presided over ancient Greek weddings and blessed marital unions.

 

How Hera and Zeus met

How Hera and Zeus met is a popular story within Greek mythology, but I want to offer the short version to shine a light on the irony of Hera’s role as goddess of marriage. If you know anything of the story of Zeus, you know his history as a lustful god who seemed infatuated with just about every good-looking woman he saw. In Hera’s case, he spotted her as she walked in the region of Hesperides, but decided not to approach her directly. Instead he changed into a wounded cuckoo bird near death. 

Hera took the bird home to restore it to health. Once in her home, she held the bird to her breast to warm it, and Zeus revealed his true identity and took advantage of her. I’m just saying, that if you fall in love with someone who pretends to be one thing and proves to be something else in a negative way, and he takes advantage of you, it is not a good idea to continue in that relationship. But, Zeus was the chief deity of the pantheon. I guess one might be enamored by titles like the god of the sky, protector of cities, home, strangers, guests, etc. After all, when you stand back and look at it, all his roles complemented Hera’s.

 

Hera’s wedding

Hera and Zeus enjoyed a lavish wedding with the ceremony performed in the Garden of Hesperides, the same place Zeus first saw Hera. Sacrifices were made in the couples’ honor, and the other gods sang hymns of praise for the newlyweds. Each god brough a gift. One of the most notable were the gifts given by Gaea, the goddess of the Earth. She gave the couple a quince (the Greek symbol of love), and she created a tree bearing golden apples for Hera which were protected by a great serpent called Ladon.

Hera’s honeymoon

Hera and Zeus’ honeymoon lasted for a three hundred years. The mythos says their honeymoon destination was the Greek island of Samos. Greeks often used this myth to talk about the Earth’s fertility, or the lasting power of marital love. But most people who know anything about the myth of Zeus and Hara know that he did not honor monogamous marriage.

Hera the vengeful wife

While the marriage saw some happy times, Hera didn’t forget how Zeus had taken advantage of her and she watched for a time when she could get even. She saw her opportunity when Zeus mistreated his fellow Olympians. When she saw they were fed up with her husband, she talked them into revolting, but the revolt failed. As punishment, Zeus tied Hera’s wrists with golden shackles with anvils shackled to her feet and then hung her from the heavens. She cried out in pain all night but none of the other gods dared to lift a finger to help her because they feared Zeus. The following day, Zeus showed her mercy and offered to let her go on one condition. She had to swear never to plot or rebel against him again. She kept that promise, but turned her wrath towards Zeus' mistresses and their illegitimate children.

Hera a jealous wife

Zeus’ numerous affairs and resulting illegitimate children led to a collection of stories which define her as a vengeful, jealous wife. Probably one of the most popular of these stories surrounds the birth of Zeus’ illegitimate son, Heracules. (Did you notice the first part of his name is Hera? This is the Greek spelling. The Romans spelled it Hercules.)

When Heracules’ mortal mother, Alcmene, went into labor, Zeus announced that the next child born in his lineage would become a great king. Hera stepped into her role as the goddess of childbirth and prolonged Alcmene’s labor to delay Heracules’ birth, and with the help of her daughter, Eileithyia, she caused a more distant descendant to prematurely give birth to a son, and he became the ruler of Mycenae. 

After Hercules was born, Hera sent two snakes to kill him in his crib, but even as an infant, Hercules had unusual strength and he strangled the snakes. Her shenanigans didn’t end there. As a young adult she cast a spell on Heracules that led him to kill his wife and children.

With this story, I ask, why was Hera considered the god of marriage or the god of childbirth?

 

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Wedding ring quilt symbolism and folklore

 

In some cases, wedding quilts are handed-down, from one generation to the next. Traditionally, they were handmade by mothers and grandmothers for their children as wedding or anniversary gifts. A woman in my town who is now in her 90s, and a holocaust survivor, still makes wedding quilts for her great-grandchildren's special day. In her case, even thought each quilt is newly crafted, the story behind each one is multi-generational.

When you give a quilt as a gift, no matter who makes it, each quilt has a story. And whether handcrafted by a loved one, bought from a quilter and given with love, or passed down as an heirloom, traditionally, the wedding quilt symbolizes the shared life couples will enjoy. 

Double wedding quilt pattern symbolism

The double wedding quilt pattern is the most popular choice as a wedding gift because it symbolizes love and romance, with interlocking rings that symbolize marriage. The symbolism is rich, but, as usual, the stories behind the origin are not in agreement.

The oldest symbolism suggests a link to the gimmal ring (also known as gimmel or puzzle rings), with designs like clasped hands incorporated into interlocking rings. These two rings were worn separately by the man and woman during the engagement period as betrothal rings. When the wedding day arrived, the interlocked rings became one ring, as the bride's wedding ring. Gimmal rings were most popular in Germany and England in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries.

Another possible origin for the inspiration of the wedding quilt pattern is the Celtic Knot which has no start or finish. The knot represents eternity, and so the symbolism of the quilt is one of eternal love. However, in my opinion, the Celtic Knot is more complex than the traditional wedding quilt pattern. 

Wedding quilt folklore

Like most wedding traditions, the wedding quilt comes complete with superstitious folklore. In this case, if the newlywed couple sleeps beneath the quilt:

• They will enjoy a blessed marriage
• Be protected from bad dreams
• Be protected from bad luck

 

Most newlyweds cherish a wedding quilt gift. Whether you put stock in the traditional symbolism or superstitions, remember that all symbolism starts somewhere. In this case, I'd say it starts with the one who makes the quilt and what inspires them to make it. This symbolism attaches to that unique quilt. Along with that, all wedding ring quilts represents the life the couple will share together and so the couple will add to the meaning of the quilt over time with their own story. 

Thanks for reading. If you have a story about your wedding quilt, feel free to share it in the comments.

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Marriage traditions in ancient Sparta

 

In ancient Greece, the warrior society of Sparta reached its pinnacle from 431-404 B.C. following the defeat of the rival city-state Athens in the Peloponnesian War. The culture was centered on loyalty to the state which pressured people to have male children that would become citizen warriors. For this reason, the importance of marriage was emphasized in the Spartan culture but the wedding was certainly much different than the typical Greek wedding of Ancient Greece.

 

Male role in Sparta

When Spartan boys reached the age of 7, they left home and started a demanding state-sponsored training program that included both military and socialization education. So Spartan men devoted their lives to military service. From age 20, they were full-time soldiers and served on active duty until age 60. They had no other career path options. Their loyalty to the state came before everything else, including one’s family.

Men who put off marriage faced public shaming while men who fathered multiple sons might be rewarded. No pressure there! Once boys left home, they lived communally under harsh conditions. Frequent physical competitions actually endangered their lives and they were fed meager rations. This didn't mean they starved though. It means they learned to survive. Among their survival skills, they were expected to become experts at stealing food. 

 

 

Life as a female Spartan

Spartan women were not conscripted into the military. They didn’t dress like a warrior princess or a super hero either. They were educated and enjoyed more freedom and status than other Greek women. This education was separate from the boys and as girls they were not required to leave home at a young age. 

While they weren’t in the military, they did still engage in athletic competitions. These included sports like javelin throwing and wrestling along with competitions for dance and singing. For the most part, these events were designed to attract a husband. As adult women, Spartans owned and managed property and didn’t have household domestic responsibilities like cooking and cleaning because the Helots took care of these things. (The Helots were fellow Greeks from Laconia and Messenia who were conquered by the Spartans and treated as a slave class who did day-to-day tasks and unskilled labor).

  

Marriage in ancient Sparta

According the state’s customs, it was recommended that men marry at age 30 and women at 20. Because men were required to live in the communal barracks until age 30, couples who married earlier were forced to live separately until the husband turned 30. As for Spartan wedding customs, Spartan women didn’t have to worry about how to wear their hair for their wedding, because unlike Viking brides who wore their hair long, Spartan brides shaved their heads on the night of the "wedding." The bride then dressed in a man's cloak and sandals and was left alone in a dark room. Her husband-to-be visited this room and “captured” her. That’s it. They were married. Later, the groom dropped the bride off at her parents’ house which completed the “ceremony.”

Like I mentioned, following the marriage, men under 30 were still required to live in the communal housing. So once married, these husbands had to sneak out at night if they wanted to see their wives.  Men who delayed marriage were publicly shamed, while those who fathered multiple sons could be rewarded.

With a closer look at Spartan weddings, I think for most people a Spartan wedding theme is a pass don’t you think?

 

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