History of the engagement ring

When you think of an engagement ring, the first thing that pops into mind these days is a diamond ring, but the diamond ring is rooted in the culture of European royalty and that's not where the history of the engagement ring begins. In fact, engagement rings can be traced back to wedding traditions made popular during the Renaissance era. It was a band of sterling silver inscribed with a poem or "poesy" but even before this, history of the engagement ring points all the way back to the ancient Egyptians.

Some ancient engagements rings were made of bone.

First engagement rings

In ancient Egypt the first engagement rings were made out of hemp, leather, bone or ivory, and were worn on the fourth finger of the left hand. These rings were thought to symbolize the endless circle of love between a couple.

This tradition was picked up by the Greeks after Alexander the Great conquered Egypt in 332 BC. The betrothal bands they wore, though, were usually made of iron, unless you were wealthy. The rich wore more expensive metals including: copper, silver or gold. At times, these rings were engraved with a message or poem which started the tradition of engraving engagement rings and wedding bands.

Today diamond and gold engagement rings are traditional.

Diamond and gold engagement rings

Diamond and gold engagement rings were very rare. The most notable was in 1477 when Archduke Maximilian of Austria bestowed one to Mary of Burgundy. Medieval Italians used precious stones as part of the groom's payment for his bride. They gave a diamond engagement ring because they believed the diamond was crafted in the flames of love.This payment symbolized the groom's intent to marry.

Then in 1518, the two-year-old Princess Mary, daughter of King Henry VIII, was given a diamond ring as a promise for an arranged marriage with the infant son of King Francis I of France.

Poesy Ring

For the most part, regular every-day people couldn't afford an expensive ring as a pledge of faithfulness. In the 15^th through the 17^th century in Eastern Europe, plain poesy rings (gold finger rings with a short inscription on their surface) with inscribed messages made popular betrothal rings.

Gimmel rings

In Ireland, a wedding tradition that began during the Renaissance, included interlocking gimmel rings. One of the rings served as a betrothal ring for the bride, another was worn as a betrothal ring for the groom, and the third ring was held by the best man until the wedding day.

Evolution of engagement rings

Until the late 19^th century, engagement rings among the wealthy were made from colored gemstones. Once African diamond mines made the precious gems more accessible, the Victorians favored a heart-cut solitaire diamond accented with rubies which were a symbol of passionate love, sapphires carried divine favor, or emeralds, which were thought to attract good fortune. Emeralds were historically the sacred stone of Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, and Venus, the Roman goddess of passion.

Victorian Era Engagement Ring

Times changed, and with them wedding traditions and customs evolved. Dowries became a tradition of the past, laws changed, and women were able to sue their fiances for breaking engagements. Engagement rings became a source of financial security and were made of rubies, opals, emeralds and turquoise.

Princess cut single solitaire engagement ring

 

Tiffany introduced single solitaire engagement ring

It was Tiffany & Co. who introduced the single solitaire in the U.S. in 1886. This ring style was drastically different than the customary embedded bezel mount. The new cut showcased the jewel's natural shine and quickly became the most requested ring by American brides. It is still the most popular engagement ring setting in the U.S. today, with an estimated 80 percent of modern brides wearing a diamond engagement ring. This popularity can be traced back to the marketing campaign of DeBeers back in 1947 -- "A Diamond is Forever." It embedded the diamond engagement ring into America's mainstream society as the most coveted of engagement rings.

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Man engagement rings a growing trend

In a phone conversation today, a friend asked me why men don't wear engagement rings. She tended to think the one-sided exchange would let people know the woman wasn't available, while the man would be free to mess around. I let her know that while engagement rings for men are fairly new here in the U.S., in many cultures grooms-to-be have proudly worn betrothal rings to let others know they are taken. 

Consider the Gimmel ring

For instance, in Ireland, men often propose with a gimmle ring. Traditionally, these triple interlocking rings separate, and one part is worn by the woman, a second part is worn by the man, and the third part of the ring is kept by the best man for safekeeping until the wedding ceremony when the groom slips it on his bride’s finger.

Gimmle ring

Groom-to-be engagement band traditions

In some South American countries including Brazil and Argentina, both the bride- and groom-to-be wear engagement rings. In Argentina, the man and woman exchange silver engagement bands which they wear on their left hand. Then, during the wedding ceremony, gold rings are placed on their right hands. In Brazil, they wear gold bands on their right hands, and move them to their left hands after exchanging marriage vows. A similar tradition is practiced by some men from Germany Sweden and Finland.

Engagement rings for men growing in popularity

In today's Western culture, engagement rings for men are growing in popularity and are often referred to as a management ring. These management rings traditionally look much like a plain wedding band made from precious metals, however more ornate designs are gaining in popularity. Depending on ring choice, once the couple is married, the man can either wear his management ring as a wedding band, or he can stack it with his new wedding band, much like a woman wears a marriage set.

 

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The history of wedding gifts

Today most couples have a gift registry to help friends and family choose a wedding gift they both need and want, but long ago guests didn't even bring gifts. It is thought that the idea of wedding gifts stemmed from the idea of a dowry which was the price paid to a bride's family.

Wedding gifts in Medieval times

In medieval times, a dowry usually included things like land, animals, money, and other forms of wealth. This was an ancient custom with the first recorded dowry noted in 3,000 B.C. This practice effectively "bought" the groom, which left girls without dowries with minimal chances of getting married. On the groom's side, his family provided a house for the couple to live in, and the groom himself would give his bride a valuable surprise gift following the wedding night as reimbursement for the loss of her virginity. A third gift was given to the priest who performed the ceremony and blessed the marriage.

Italian Wedding Chest

Renaissance wedding gifts

During the Renaissance ornate marriage chests marked the joining of the couple. These large chests were produced in pairs and usually held the bride's dowry. In the mid-fifteenth century, these chests were crafted to complement other furnishings in the couple's bedchamber, and they were sometimes paraded through the streets of Florence, Italy, in wedding processions. Gradually, these chests were used to hold all the bride's future linens and other household goods, which she would take to her groom's house. These marriage chests were the earliest form of what we today call a "hope chest."

Cedar Hope Chest

Leather key baskets

By the 1850s, especially in the American South, brides were gifted with a leather key basket which represented her new role as mistress of the house. These baskets were embossed with figures, and shapes like hearts and stars and were kept in Colonial homes. The baskets held keys to unlock doors, chests, and cupboards in the bride's new home. 

 

Leather Key Basket

When did family and friends start giving wedding gifts?

The custom of guests and family giving gifts to the newly married couple is rather recent, and started back around 1890. And with the giving of wedding gifts came folklore that influenced what to buy. For example, according to folklore, giving of knives was a poor gift choice because a knife signified a broken relationship. It was considered bad luck as a wedding gift. If knives were given, you could always pay the giver a penny and that way it became a purchase and not a gift.

As the rituals and customs surrounding marriage slowly evolved, so did wedding gifts. In 1924, Macy's offered the first wedding gift registry and other departments were quick to do the same. Brides picked out their china pattern, with gift registries in these early days including items like crystal, silver, and china as very common bridal gifts.

Today, it's not unusual for guests to buy something more personal rather than purchase something off the registry or to skip presents altogether and just give cash. With so many couples living together before marriage, items needed to set up a household like linens and flatware are no longer popular gifts, and some modern couples have even set up charity donations in lieu of gifts, or they just ask for cash.

 

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Wedding cookies a traditional family favorite

Wedding cookies go by many different names around the world. Some call them Russian tea cakes, some Mexican wedding cookies or Polvorones from the Spanish word polvo which means powder or dust. At Italian weddings, Italian wedding cookies can be found at a dessert or sweet table with the cake.

Italian wedding cookies

Sometimes the cake is even made of Italian cookies piled on top of one another. There's even a cookie dance in which the bride and groom lead guests around the reception area and then to the cookie table where each person takes a cookie. Even those who don't dance get a cookie, and it's not unusual for guests to pocket a cookie or two to bring home.

Mexican wedding cookies history

Mexican wedding cookies, Polvorones, are also popular holiday cookies in Spain and its former Latin American colonies, and also in the Philippines. Food historians actually trace the history of these cookies to Medieval Arab cuisine. It is thought that these wedding cookies were originally brought to Spain by the Moors, and that the recipe spread throughout Europe from there.

Mexican Wedding Cookies

This explains how wedding cookies from so many countries and cultures are so similar – a crumbly shortbread type dough made of sugar, flour, butter, and nuts. It's a sweet tradition that was introduced to the New World by the 16^th century.

Makes a crumbly shortbread type dough

Here I offer the recipe our family has enjoyed for generations. But for those who don't have the time or inclination to make cookies can find quality wedding cookies available on store shelves.

Traditional wedding cookies recipe

Ingredients for wedding cookies recipe:

• 1 cup butter (not margarine)
•  2 cups flour
•  4 Tbls. sugar
•  2 cups finely chopped pecans
•  2 tsp. vanilla

Mamas Bakery Buttery Almond Wedding Cookie

Directions:

1.  Place butter in large bowl, and let soften at room temperature.
2. Cream butter and sugar, and stir in vanilla.
3. Stir in flour and nuts.
4. Roll into little balls and bake on ungreased cookie sheet.
5. Bake at 300 for 30-45 minutes.

The size of the balls of dough determines the length of baking time. I use a heaping measuring teaspoon to keep cookie size consistent. They are done when they turn a light cream color. Remove from sheet and roll in powdered sugar. Let cool and roll in powdered sugar again.

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History of wedding dresses

While most of us in the West like to think of weddings as part of a love story, for most of history marriage was really more like a business deal between two families or countries. But even when wedding weren't based on love, brides wore dresses that highlighted their family's wealth and social status. However, for the most part, brides didn't buy a dress specifically for her wedding day. Instead, a bride usually wore her Sunday best.

 

Sunday Best dresses were the dress worn on Sunday's because it was the best dress in the wardrobe. Yes, it was the same dress worn every Sunday. Often, these dresses were a dark color that didn't show stains. In fact, many brides wore black because it was popular. 

Wedding dress color superstitions

Historically, wedding traditions are often linked to superstition, and the color of the wedding dress back then was no different. Brides avoided wearing green because it was considered an unlucky color, while blue was the most popular choice because it was thought to represent purity and godliness.

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Queen Victoria's white wedding dress inspired today's tradition.

Queen Victoria wedding dress changed everything

In 1840, the royal wedding between England's Queen Victoria to her first cousin Prince Albert introduced a bridal gown that changed everything. She wore a white gown dripping with orange blossoms. At that time, white fabric was hard to come by and expensive. So brides who wanted to show off their wealth or status created white gowns made with excessive amounts of fabric. However, the whites of that day were not bright like the eggshell white we have these days. About a decade later, Godey's Lady's Book, declared that white was the most fitting hue for a bride.

When the Great Depression hit, the white wedding dress grew scarce again because people weren't willing to spend money on a gown they would wear one time. Instead, women returned to the tradition of wearing their best outfit. At that time it was usually a dark color. By the middle of the 20 century, the white dress grew in popularity again. Some iconic dresses from this era include Grace Kelly and Princess Diana's wedding gowns.

In other cultures, in countries like China and India, brides often wear red or a white-red combination because red symbolizes good-luck. In Japan, brides often wear colorful dresses. Today, in the West, white and light-colors are the most popular color for wedding dresses, but brides have more choices than ever to choose from. Many people think white represents purity and virtue while it really became popular because it represented dressing like royalty.

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