Handfasting tradition represents love and fidelity

Have you ever wondered about the origins of the phrase "to tie the knot" when talking about getting married? It turns out this saying comes from an ancient custom known as handfasting. The same is true for the phrase, "bonds of matrimony." This tying together of the bride and groom's hands (wrists) was how couples in Great Britain pledged their betrothal in front of witnesses in ages past. Today it is a popular addition to traditional weddings for couples looking to add a strong cultural or historical element to incorporate in their ceremony.

Handfasting goes back to Greece and Rome

The practice of handfasting was originally practiced by the Greeks and Romans. In the Roman celebration, a garland was fashioned from magnolias, elder and roses which they used to wrap around the couple's wrists. This practice was thought to represent love and fidelity.

Handfasting common tradition in Ireland and Scotland

The handfasting ceremony became especially common in Ireland and Scotland and turned out to be the way couples were "officially" married in the times before the church became involved in performing weddings and makes a popular choice for couples who choose a medieval theme or fantasy theme for their wedding.

Divinity Braid  Wedding Handfasting Cord

Handfasting today

Today, many people consider handfasting a strictly pagan custom often used in non-traditional marriages, but really it is a wedding ritual that can easily be incorporated into a traditional wedding while exchanging vows. In fact, it's a meaningful ritual that makes a perfect choice for couples looking to incorporate a visual that symbolizes their love, and for those of Scottish or Irish decent it is an opportunity to add a nice historical tie to their roots.

Traditionally silk cords are used in handfasting, but today some people use something that adds a personal touch meaningful to them. This might include cloth strips or one large piece of cloth made from something that holds special significance, like a piece of a mother or grandmother's wedding dress. Others choose several ribbons or a number of different colors with each color representing a different meaning.

Whatever you choose to use to tie the knot, this timeless tradition symbolizes the union of two people and their willingness to spend the rest of their lives together. And while the practice itself is an ancient tradition, today couples can find many different versions to choose from whether it is for a wedding or a renewal of vows.

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Meaning behind the Claddagh ring and how to wear It

The Claddagh ring (pronounced “klahda”) enjoys a distinctive Irish design that's rich in symbolism. It features two hands (representing friendship) holding a heart (symbolizing love) and usually topped by a crown (loyalty) and can be worn as an engagement ring or wedding band. While the meaning is clear, the history of the Claddagh ring is clouded by a number of legends as to its origins.

Claddagh ring legends

One legend surrounds a woman by the name of Margareth Joyce (from the Joyce clan). She is said to have married a Spanish merchant by the name of Domingo de Rona. She left her homeland and went with her husband to Spain, but he died and left her a large amount of money. The legend says she returned to Ireland and, in 1596, married the mayor of Galway (town where the ring originated), Oliver Ogffrench, and used the money she had inherited to build bridges in Connacht. As a reward for her charity, one day an eagle dropped the Claddagh ring in her lap.

A second story is about a prince who fell in love with a commoner. In his effort to convince the girl's father that he truly loved the girl, and had no intentions of "using" her, he designed the Claddagh ring with the symbols representing love, friendship, and loyalty. He proposed with the ring, and when the father heard the explanation he gave the couple his blessing.

14K White Gold Claddagh 8 Stone Emerald and Diamond Ring

A third legend that also links the Joyce clan and the Claddagh ring centers around a man by the name of Richard Joyce, a native of Galway. He left home to go work in the West Indies, and planned to marry the girl he loved when he returned to Ireland. However, his ship was seized, and he was sold as a slave to a Moorish goldsmith. As a slave, he learned his master's craft, and then when William III became king, he ordered all British prisoners released. His master held Joyce in high esteem and offered his daughter and half his wealth to the man if he stayed. However, Joyce rejected the offer and returned home to marry the girl he loved. Luckily, she had waited for him, and to her surprise he presented her with a Claddagh ring which he made while a slave.

How to wear the Claddagh ring

How you wear the Claddagh ring changes what it means. Traditionally, the Claddagh ring is worn on the right hand with the heart facing outward away from the body. This symbolizes that the person wearing the ring isn't in a serious relationship, and may even be looking for a relationship – that "their heart is open." When worn on the right hand with the heart facing the body, it indicates "someone has captured their heart" and that they aren't available.

Solid 14k Yellow Gold Diamond Triple Heart Infinity Ring

 

In the Irish tradition, when the Claddagh ring is worn as an engagement ring or wedding ring, it is worn on the left hand ring finger. If the heart faces outward, it generally means the person is engaged. If the heart faces inward, toward the body, it means the person wearing the ring is married.

The Claddagh ring is traditionally handed down from mother to daughter, a custom that represents our ties with past generations.

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History of the engagement ring

When you think of an engagement ring, the first thing that pops into mind these days is a diamond ring, but the diamond ring is rooted in the culture of European royalty and that's not where the history of the engagement ring begins. In fact, engagement rings can be traced back to wedding traditions made popular during the Renaissance era. It was a band of sterling silver inscribed with a poem or "poesy" but even before this, history of the engagement ring points all the way back to the ancient Egyptians.

Some ancient engagements rings were made of bone.

First engagement rings

In ancient Egypt the first engagement rings were made out of hemp, leather, bone or ivory, and were worn on the fourth finger of the left hand. These rings were thought to symbolize the endless circle of love between a couple.

This tradition was picked up by the Greeks after Alexander the Great conquered Egypt in 332 BC. The betrothal bands they wore, though, were usually made of iron, unless you were wealthy. The rich wore more expensive metals including: copper, silver or gold. At times, these rings were engraved with a message or poem which started the tradition of engraving engagement rings and wedding bands.

Today diamond and gold engagement rings are traditional.

Diamond and gold engagement rings

Diamond and gold engagement rings were very rare. The most notable was in 1477 when Archduke Maximilian of Austria bestowed one to Mary of Burgundy. Medieval Italians used precious stones as part of the groom's payment for his bride. They gave a diamond engagement ring because they believed the diamond was crafted in the flames of love.This payment symbolized the groom's intent to marry.

Then in 1518, the two-year-old Princess Mary, daughter of King Henry VIII, was given a diamond ring as a promise for an arranged marriage with the infant son of King Francis I of France.

Poesy Ring

For the most part, regular every-day people couldn't afford an expensive ring as a pledge of faithfulness. In the 15^th through the 17^th century in Eastern Europe, plain poesy rings (gold finger rings with a short inscription on their surface) with inscribed messages made popular betrothal rings.

Gimmel rings

In Ireland, a wedding tradition that began during the Renaissance, included interlocking gimmel rings. One of the rings served as a betrothal ring for the bride, another was worn as a betrothal ring for the groom, and the third ring was held by the best man until the wedding day.

Evolution of engagement rings

Until the late 19^th century, engagement rings among the wealthy were made from colored gemstones. Once African diamond mines made the precious gems more accessible, the Victorians favored a heart-cut solitaire diamond accented with rubies which were a symbol of passionate love, sapphires carried divine favor, or emeralds, which were thought to attract good fortune. Emeralds were historically the sacred stone of Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, and Venus, the Roman goddess of passion.

Victorian Era Engagement Ring

Times changed, and with them wedding traditions and customs evolved. Dowries became a tradition of the past, laws changed, and women were able to sue their fiances for breaking engagements. Engagement rings became a source of financial security and were made of rubies, opals, emeralds and turquoise.

Princess cut single solitaire engagement ring

 

Tiffany introduced single solitaire engagement ring

It was Tiffany & Co. who introduced the single solitaire in the U.S. in 1886. This ring style was drastically different than the customary embedded bezel mount. The new cut showcased the jewel's natural shine and quickly became the most requested ring by American brides. It is still the most popular engagement ring setting in the U.S. today, with an estimated 80 percent of modern brides wearing a diamond engagement ring. This popularity can be traced back to the marketing campaign of DeBeers back in 1947 -- "A Diamond is Forever." It embedded the diamond engagement ring into America's mainstream society as the most coveted of engagement rings.

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Man engagement rings a growing trend

In a phone conversation today, a friend asked me why men don't wear engagement rings. She tended to think the one-sided exchange would let people know the woman wasn't available, while the man would be free to mess around. I let her know that while engagement rings for men are fairly new here in the U.S., in many cultures grooms-to-be have proudly worn betrothal rings to let others know they are taken. 

Consider the Gimmel ring

For instance, in Ireland, men often propose with a gimmle ring. Traditionally, these triple interlocking rings separate, and one part is worn by the woman, a second part is worn by the man, and the third part of the ring is kept by the best man for safekeeping until the wedding ceremony when the groom slips it on his bride’s finger.

Gimmle ring

Groom-to-be engagement band traditions

In some South American countries including Brazil and Argentina, both the bride- and groom-to-be wear engagement rings. In Argentina, the man and woman exchange silver engagement bands which they wear on their left hand. Then, during the wedding ceremony, gold rings are placed on their right hands. In Brazil, they wear gold bands on their right hands, and move them to their left hands after exchanging marriage vows. A similar tradition is practiced by some men from Germany Sweden and Finland.

Engagement rings for men growing in popularity

In today's Western culture, engagement rings for men are growing in popularity and are often referred to as a management ring. These management rings traditionally look much like a plain wedding band made from precious metals, however more ornate designs are gaining in popularity. Depending on ring choice, once the couple is married, the man can either wear his management ring as a wedding band, or he can stack it with his new wedding band, much like a woman wears a marriage set.

 

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The history of wedding gifts

Today most couples have a gift registry to help friends and family choose a wedding gift they both need and want, but long ago guests didn't even bring gifts. It is thought that the idea of wedding gifts stemmed from the idea of a dowry which was the price paid to a bride's family.

Wedding gifts in Medieval times

In medieval times, a dowry usually included things like land, animals, money, and other forms of wealth. This was an ancient custom with the first recorded dowry noted in 3,000 B.C. This practice effectively "bought" the groom, which left girls without dowries with minimal chances of getting married. On the groom's side, his family provided a house for the couple to live in, and the groom himself would give his bride a valuable surprise gift following the wedding night as reimbursement for the loss of her virginity. A third gift was given to the priest who performed the ceremony and blessed the marriage.

Italian Wedding Chest

Renaissance wedding gifts

During the Renaissance ornate marriage chests marked the joining of the couple. These large chests were produced in pairs and usually held the bride's dowry. In the mid-fifteenth century, these chests were crafted to complement other furnishings in the couple's bedchamber, and they were sometimes paraded through the streets of Florence, Italy, in wedding processions. Gradually, these chests were used to hold all the bride's future linens and other household goods, which she would take to her groom's house. These marriage chests were the earliest form of what we today call a "hope chest."

Cedar Hope Chest

Leather key baskets

By the 1850s, especially in the American South, brides were gifted with a leather key basket which represented her new role as mistress of the house. These baskets were embossed with figures, and shapes like hearts and stars and were kept in Colonial homes. The baskets held keys to unlock doors, chests, and cupboards in the bride's new home. 

 

Leather Key Basket

When did family and friends start giving wedding gifts?

The custom of guests and family giving gifts to the newly married couple is rather recent, and started back around 1890. And with the giving of wedding gifts came folklore that influenced what to buy. For example, according to folklore, giving of knives was a poor gift choice because a knife signified a broken relationship. It was considered bad luck as a wedding gift. If knives were given, you could always pay the giver a penny and that way it became a purchase and not a gift.

As the rituals and customs surrounding marriage slowly evolved, so did wedding gifts. In 1924, Macy's offered the first wedding gift registry and other departments were quick to do the same. Brides picked out their china pattern, with gift registries in these early days including items like crystal, silver, and china as very common bridal gifts.

Today, it's not unusual for guests to buy something more personal rather than purchase something off the registry or to skip presents altogether and just give cash. With so many couples living together before marriage, items needed to set up a household like linens and flatware are no longer popular gifts, and some modern couples have even set up charity donations in lieu of gifts, or they just ask for cash.

 

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