Newer wedding trends and traditions

In my last post we looked at some of today's most popular traditions and I mentioned that in this post we'd look new practices that are becoming traditions in their own rite. After all, every tradition starts somewhere. For instance, the tradition of wedding flowers started in ancient Rome when brides carried herbs beneath their veils to ward off evil spirits and ensure fertility and fidelity for the union. Similarly, in ancient Greece, brides used Ivy to represent lasting love.

Changes to the wedding flowers tradition

Overtime, the incorporation of flowers in weddings has become a tradition. We have flower girls, wedding flowers, including the bridal bouquet, pew decorations, corsages for mothers of the bride and groom, reception flowers, and more. In fact, wedding flowers are big business with different flowers attributed with unique meanings. Take the rose for instance. That one flower is probably the most popular wedding flower but it holds a different meaning depending on the color. A red rose symbolizes passion, a white rose represents purity, a yellow rose is said to symbolize friendship, joy and caring, while a pink rose signifies joy and admiration.

With all that said, today's modern trends in wedding flowers leave the traditional standard behind and leans toward personal preference. Traditional white is still in style, but today's trends have brides going with anything from bold and robust colors to monochromatic selections with only one flower or color, and bridesmaids' bouquets that no longer have to match the bride's bouquet. Plus in today's global society, flowers aren't as restricted by season, so if the bride loves stargazer lilies which traditionally bloom mid-to-late summer and are known for their fragrant perfume they are available for winter weddings, too.

First dances/father daughter dance and more

Other traditions changing are the bride and groom's first dance, as well as the father-daughter or mother-and-son dance. Today, the trend for the newly married couple is to step away from the traditional slow dance and liven things up with something like a tango or salsa. Another step away from tradition replaces the father/daughter dance by having the bride dance with her mother, stepfather, or special friend.

Another trend for wedding dances is to have the DJ call all the married couples to the dance floor and gradually eliminate them as the dance goes on leaving the longest married couple with the honor of the last couple dancing.

Instead of bouquet toss

While the bouquet toss is still one of the most practiced wedding traditions, the trend seems to have brides moving away from the practice. The reason behind this seems to be many single friends aren't interested in participating in the bouquet toss these days, so instead brides are giving the bouquet to their parents as a special memento.

 

Instead of garter toss

Instead of the garter toss, couples are including their youngest guests in the fun. One popular idea is the tossing of a white teddy bear for one lucky winner to catch. An alternative to this is to toss soft, wrapped candy so all the kids can grab a prize.

Personalized escort cards

As a special way to thank each wedding guest, some couples write out a personalized thank-you on a small card which doubles as their escort cards. These also make a special keepsake for wedding guest.

Signature drink

A fairly new trend includes offering a signature drink to guests during cocktail hour. The hardest part for this one is to think up a clever name for the drink.

Slideshow

Another new wedding tradition includes a slideshow designed to entertain guests with slides of the bride and groom starting with childhood photos and working through their lives to courtship and engagement.

Today, I guess we could say the newest wedding tradition is that anything goes. 

 

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Wedding traditions most practiced today

Every bride and groom wants their wedding day to be special and memorable. And many want it to stand out from the rest by doing something different or unique. But it gets harder and harder to find the new and different because word spreads fast. For instance, I remember the first time I had carrot wedding cake. What a delicious difference. That might have been twenty years ago. Now it is common place to have wedding cakes comprised of different flavors for each layer, or even wedding cupcakes. So the traditional wedding cake is gradually becoming an obsolete tradition. 

Some wedding traditions have become so entrenched in culture that many times people look at them as rules to be followed. What you do with that will depend on whether you are one who abides by the rules or someone who believes rules are made to be broken. With that said, this post takes a look at the most-practiced wedding traditions today.

Father giving the bride away

According to a recent Harris Poll  most people still think the father of the bride should give the bride away. However, people aren't so sure about sticking him with the bill for the wedding anymore.

Night before the wedding spent apart

The UK's four-star Hallmark Hotels also polled people in the UK regarding wedding traditions and 54 percent of them believe couples should spend the night before the wedding apart. In the U.S. we are even more traditional with 74 percent of us following this tradition.

 

Something old, new, borrowed, and blue

This tradition of the bride wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue is a tradition that originates from an Old English rhyme but is still widely practiced today. 

Adding these items to what the bride wears is among wedding traditions thought to bring good luck, but each item has its own meaning. The old represents continuity, the new signifies optimism, the borrowed item stands for happiness, and the blue symbolizes love, purity, and fidelity.

Throwing the Bouquet

Throwing the bridal bouquet is another popular tradition which stems from a time when other women tried to rip pieces of the bride's dress and flowers to steal some of her good luck for themselves. Back then, the bride tossed her flowers into the air in order to make her get away while the guests were distracted. Today, the belief tied to this practice has morphed into whoever catches it will be the next to be married.

In my next blog we'll take a look at new practices that are quickly becoming traditions in their own rite.

 

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Related article: Wedding Traditions Origins: Newer Wedding Trends and Traditions

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Why brides carried a bouquet

We've seen the surprising origins of many wedding traditions on this site, and the origins of the bridal bouquet is no different. This is another ancient tradition that can be traced back to Rome. At that time, brides carried or wore flower garlands because they believed flowers signified new beginnings, fidelity and hope of fertility.

Original purposes of the bridal bouquet

Like many wedding traditions, the origin of the bridal bouquet tradition can be traced back to ancient Rome. For them, like I said, it signified new beginnings, fidelity and hope of fertility. By the Middle Ages bouquets of strong-smelling herbs and spices were carried by the bride for their magical effects to ward off evil spirits, bad luck, and sickness. 

Today, the bouquet represents happiness and satisfaction in marriage and the wedding flowers making up the bouquet are thought to have their own special meanings.

In the Middle Ages, the wedding bouquet also became a way to distract female guests who were eager to tear off a piece of the wedding dress for good luck. The bride tossed the flowers to the wedding guests who believed it would be be a talisman for good luck for the one who caught it. And so why while they were distracted as they scrambled to get their hands on the bouquet, the bride ran away with her dress in one piece. Tossing the bouquet is a tradition that is still practiced today! 

 

 

Vintage wedding bouquet ideas for the modern bride

• Consider wearing a flower garland like the ancient Romans who believed flowers signified new beginnings, fidelity and hope of fertility.
• Make up a bouquet of your favorite wild flowers, herbs and aromatic spices.
  

I'd love to hear from you. If you have a wedding story, a tradition you'd like me to blog about, a question, or have something to say, feel free to contact me. And if you enjoy reading my blog, click "follow" and you'll be notified when a new post is added to this blog. Thanks for reading.

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History of the marriage contracts

While stories of star-struck lovers getting married make for good tales, historically marriage had little to do with love. In ancient times, marriage was more like a business deal. According to Stephanie Coontz, the author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, "It was a way of getting in-laws, of making alliances and expanding the family labor force."

First recorded marriage contracts

Marriage is an ancient institution with the first recorded evidence of marriage contracts and ceremonies dating back 4,000 years in Mesopotamia. It was an institution that primarily regulated property rights and political privileges and contracts reflected that. In that ancient world marriage primarily served to preserve power. 

Kings and others of the ruling class married off daughters to build alliances, acquire land, and produce legitimate heirs. These deals were basically business mergers, the forging of military coalitions, or the finalizing of peace treaties. It was seen as a way to build strategic alliances between families. Those getting married often had no say in the matter even in marriages between the lower class. In those cases, the purpose of marriage was to choose a marriage partner with a good work ethic, strength, skills and robust health – and to produce heirs. If they had adjoining plots of land that was a real bonus.

What is traditional marriage? This book may open your eyes.

Marriage played role banks and markets fill today

For most of history love played no part in marriage because it was considered too serious a matter to be based on such a frail emotion. In ancient Mesopotamia arranged marriages were the standard. Often the bride and groom had never even met. In some cases, bridal auctions were held and women were sold to the highest bidder. Economically, marriage filled the role that banks and markets do today. It organized and transferred property and gave individuals access to new workers for the family business.

This is also where the dowry came into play. Until the late eighteenth century, the marriage dowry was the largest amount of cash or movable goods a man would acquire in his lifetime. As a result, men were often more interested in the dowry than the bride.

The "widow's third" was a part of the marriage contract that guaranteed European women that upon their husband's death she would be provided for.

Babylonian Bridal Auction

I'm not saying love was never part of marriage in ancient times, it just wasn't the norm and was definitely not necessary. Until the late 18^th century, parents had the right to arrange their children's marriages and could dissolve a marriage if it happened without their permission.

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Jumping the broom tradition

Jumping the broom is an historical ritual with Celtic roots. Like many traditions, exactly how and where it started is brought into question. Some say it started with the Romani Gypsy people living in Wales and others say it originated with the Welsh people themselves. Today variations of this ritual are practiced by Welsh, Celtics and Druids as well as the nomadic Romani. In fact, the earliest mention of this tradition is tied to the Romani and dates back to the 18th century. Today, common-law broomstick weddings are still practiced in some parts of Wales as a centuries-old custom called priodas coes ysgub.

 

Along with this heritage, some say jumping the broom comes from an African marriage ritual which was practiced in the U.S. during the days of slavery when blacks weren't allowed to marry. However, others attribute this as a practice taken from the whites. Either way, secret ceremonies were held as black couples committed themselves to each other by stepping over a broomstick in front of family and friends.

Now the tradition is practiced as a folk tradition in various parts of the world from Eastern Europe to the Americas. 

 

Besom broom used for broom jumping

The type of broom used in these ceremonies was besom brooms constructed by tying twigs or straw together against a strong rod or stick. Back in the 18th century, brooms were found just inside the door to every home with bristles up to ward off evil spirits and to protect the home and all who lived there. Sometimes it was hung over the door with the bristles facing opening of the door for good luck. It was considered one of the first lines of defense for the homemaker.

Today, jumping the broom is thought to represent the couple entering a new life together, and sweeping away their single lives including former problems and concerns.

4 jumping the broom variations

 

While we can dispute where and how jumping the broom started, I'd rather focus on variations of the practice as wedding planners have started to include the custom today. Jumping the broom can take place at the church, the reception, the couples' new home, and is often included in neo-pagan unions, too.

1. Place the broom at an angle by the rear door of the church.
2. Groom jumps first, followed by the bride.
3. Broom laid on floor and couple jumps over it hand-in-hand as high as they can.
4. Broom laid in the entryway to the new home with bride and groom taking turns jumping over it. (Another variation of this one is for the groom to carry his bride over the broom into their new home.)

Another old custom involves the couple jumping over a crossed broom and sword held by the best man and the maid of honor. This practice represents cutting of ties to parents and the ties being swept away as the couple crosses a new threshold to start a new life together.

Today couples jumping the broom often design their own broom and decorate them to complement wedding colors, or they can be purchased already-decorated.

Tajiri 36" Jump Broom for Wedding

Some who want to eliminate the broom because of its Wiccan associations may choose to step over a sword instead of a broom. 

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