A closer look at the origins of the word wedding

The study of the origin of words and the way in which their meanings have changed throughout history is known as etymology. Since this blog takes a closer look at all things wedding and their origins, I thought it would be fun to look into the origins of the word wedding. What I found might surprise you, though if you read this blog regularly, then maybe not.

 

Etymology of the word wedding

The easiest way to learn the etymology of a word these days is to visit the online etymology dictionary. In the case of the word wedding, the dictionary started with the Old English weddung (n) "state of being wed; pledge, betrothal; action of marrying." That isn’t really any different than how we think of the word wedding today, or is it? Did those words mean something different in the past than they do today?

When you come to understand the Old English word used for the ceremony was bridelope (bridal run) it is a heads up that maybe things didn’t quite mean the same as we view them now. Turns out this term dates back to A.D. 950 (brydlopa). This custom involved a ‘run for the bride-door.’ This ancient tradition was both symbolic and actual. The bride was swept off on horseback to her husband’s home by him. At times this act involved a helper who later was known at the best man.

So, if we have the ceremony described as bridelope as described above, what did the word wedding mean? The Anglo-Saxon root word wedd (‘to gamble, wager’) first referred to livestock or other payment by the groom to the bride’s father, as a more civilized alternative to abduction. According to the etymology dictionary which differentiated the noun wed from the Old English verb weddian, “to pledge oneself, covenant to do something, vow; betroth, marry.” It moved on to the Old Norse veðja, and Danish vedde which means “to bet, wager." Interesting. The coming together of two people in marriage was considered a wager. I can see that. When we take our vows, we are betting the other person will keep their promise, or at least what we assumed the promise to mean. This carries us to the Old Frisian weddia which means "to promise." Without going more in depth, other meanings included "to pledge, to redeem a pledge."

 

20^th century meaning of wedding

For more insight, I referenced a book titled Wedding Customs then and Now published in 1919 to learn what people thought in more recent times yet still long ago. The second chapter of the book is titled “Buying Wives.” It opens with, “The etymology of the very name ‘wedding’ betrays the character of the second stage in the development of matrimony. The ‘wed’ was the money, horses, cattle, or ornaments given as security by the Saxon groom and held by trustees as a pledge and as a proof of the purchase of the bride from her father.”

When I hear the word pledge used in regard to marriage, what comes to mind these days is the engagement ring. It represents a promise to marry, but I’ve never thought of it as a purchasing mechanism. Back in 18^th century England, instead of just announcing engagements, the amount accompanying a bride was proudly published. Can you imagine? 

 

Marriage contracts

Before Shakespeare’s time, the parson or his clerk served like a town crier announcing from the church steps the amount given the bride and her father. Why? This act provided witnesses to the marriage contract. The amount paid was supposed to be around one-third of the husband’s property. These marriage contracts stipulated exact regulations for buying of wives. The future husband paid an amount referred to as a foster-lien. This money was given to the parents who fostered the bride through childhood, and these contracts were considered binding until death.

Not everyone held to the contract. Some parents reneged and fraud was not uncommon. Some fathers accepted multiple foster-liens from different men in the years before the marriage and then gave his daughter to someone else. Another form of fraud came in the form of what we could call false advertisement today, when a father boasted of his daughter’s attributes and qualities in exaggerated terms. 

Back in Saxon days, the king decreed the money be refunded in such cases. This caused problems of its own, so another custom was initiated to help curb the problem. They linked this new custom with a popular newlywed gift-giving tradition in which a husband gave his new wife a small gift the morning after the marriage. The new statue said the bride “could not be brought back after receiving such a token of contentment.” 

The Church got involved, too, and the clergy demanded fraudulent fathers who accepted more than one lien had to pay back four times the amount if he did not deliver the bride.

Did the bride have a say?

Think of the woman’s role in all this. According to Instruction to a Christian Woman by Louis Vives, “a decent girl should not think of expressing any wish as to what man should be her husband.” Most of the time, she was not consulted in the process. Many times, contracts were written up while the couples were still babies. At the other end of this spectrum, some marriages were postponed by relatives who didn’t want the marriage. At the extreme, is the example of the marriage of Robert Phillips, Esq., (brother of John Phillips, the poet), who was eighty when he married Miss Anna Bowdler, who was close to the same age. They had been engaged for sixty years!

I don’t know about you, but I am certainly happy to be living in this day in age in a country where I have a voice regarding my life and in a culture where the word wedding means a "marriage ceremony, especially considered as including the associated celebrations."

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Image credits:

Record dated Nov. 25, 1486, of financial arrangements between the Piccolomini and Bandinelli families of Siena regarding the future marriage between Bernardinus Piccolomini and Antonia Bandinelli. Bottom portion of manuscript cut off with loss of text.

 Painting by Joseph Wright of Derby: An Experiment on a Bird in the Air Pump, by Derby, J. W. o., National Gallery, London. (https://ndla.no/article/32348).

3 little know facts about ancient Roman weddings

 (Updated December 2025)

I often mention Ancient Rome in relation to the origins of wedding traditions still practiced today in Western cultures. This post takes a look at three practices embedded within those traditions that we no longer include in our own rituals. 

Engagement ring and what it symbolized

Today's tradition of wearing an engagement ring on the fourth finger of the left hand, can be traced back to the Ancient Romans. This finger was believed to have a vein that ran directly to the heart, the Vena Amoris, which means 'vein of love'. Belief in that vein of love brought with it the hope that wearing the ring would encourage love, but legally this piece of wedding jewelry represented that the woman was about to pass from the ownership of her father to her future husband. Therefore, only women wore engagement rings in ancient Rome.

 

Ancient Roman wedding belt and the knot of Hercules

Ancient Roman brides wore a special dress and a veil and even wove flowers in the hair. What made their wedding attire unique is the girdle or belt that they wore. This belt was an essential part of bridal etiquette. By tradition, it was tied by the bride's mother with the knot of Hercules on the morning of her wedding. It represented the bride's purity, and with Hercules being the guardian of married life this strong knot could only be untied by the bride’s new husband on the wedding night. This knot created by two intertwined ropes can be traced back to ancient Egypt where it was used as a healing amulet, but in ancient Greece and ancient Rome where Hercules was known for his strength, it was a strong knot incorporated into a protective girdle worn by brides. Roman lore suggests the knot symbolized the legendary fertility of Hercules and in some way is related to the legendary Girdle of Diana captured from the Amazon Queen Hippolyta.

 

Marriage a negotiated deal

In ancient Rome, the male head of the household (the Paterfamilias) was responsible for finding a good match for all the children in his family. Marriage had to be outside the family. They weren’t allowed to even marry third or fourth cousins. While this sounds like an arranged marriage, one difference is that both the bride and groom had to be consenting adults and they could only be married to one person at a time (there were no divorces). However, what ‘consenting adults’ means today is far different from what it meant back then. The minimum age for females to marry was 12 and boys had to be at least 14. 

 

Once a suitable person was found, both families entered negotiations to decide which family would provide for the couple. Once the agreement was made the woman brought a dowry to her new husband’s family.

Marriage was looked at as a contract and some suggest that the giving of engagement rings in ancient Rome may have been used to signal that a contract had been made between the couple and their families. So while many practice some parts of these traditions it is easy to see why other parts have been left along the path of history.

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Some links in this post are affiliate links. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to amazon.com and affiliate sites.

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 Photo credits: wikimedia, wikimedia, Amazon