Many think the terms betrothal ring and engagement ring can be used interchangeably, but while they are connected, they don't always hold the exact same meaning. You see, historically, a betrothal is actually considered a morally binding contract and is a practice that goes way back to the early days of the Catholic Church. At the time such contracts were taken seriously and if one party broke it, the other could lodge a complaint to a civil court (or diocesan court) for breach of promise.
Betrothal rings were also engagement rings
Before we look at how betrothal rings and engagement rings differed, let me say that they both were a commitment to marry, but according to the Catholic custom betrothal came with many graces. It worked the way a sacrament does but it wasn’t actually considered a sacrament like matrimony. This imbuing of graces took place during the betrothal ritual when the engagement ring was thought to be transfigured by a blessing into a sacramental much like holy water or the sign of the cross. And while betrothal and engagements were both commitments to marry, betrothal was taken with a different level of seriousness because marriage was looked at as a contract that began with betrothal. And today those who take betrothal seriously can still participate in the betrothal ceremony.
Betrothal as a contract
Today we look at engagement as a promise to marry, but betrothal was considered to be more than just a promise. It was the beginning of the marriage contract. It included details like provision for the bride’s dowry and settlement in cash and property by the husband’s family to guarantee the woman would be taken care of if the husband happened to die first. To ratify the contract:
The couple joined handsThe man gave his bride-to-be a ring to be worn on the right hand. (It was moved to the left hand at the wedding)The couple sealed the contract with a kiss and signatures.If the man broke the marriage contract without good cause, he had to return any tokens or gifts he had received from the agreement. But betrothals could be terminated if the two people mutually consented, or if one was guilty of something like infidelity, heresy, apostasy, etc.
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This betrothal ring displays a Moorish castle with a hinged side that opens to reveal a small table and four chairs, symbolizing the couple's new home. |
Jewish betrothal rings
Betrothal wasn’t limited to Catholics though. Betrothal rings were also popular in the Jewish community in South Germany in the sixteenth to the eighteenth centuries. In these cases, the fiancé often gave his future bride the betrothal ring one year before the marriage. These rings, unlike engagement rings today, were usually too large to actually wear. And instead of a precious gemstone, these rings were crafted to look like miniature castles, temples, or palaces. These architectural symbols were actually small “containers” which held an inscription which read Mazal Tov which means Good Luck in Hebrew.
These rings were quite extravagant, and some experts think that one ring might have been owned and used by an entire community. Though in wealthier families, they became heirlooms passed from one generation to the next. As craftsmanship advanced, the rings began to take on more intricate filigree and enameling, but even then, the rings did not bear gemstones. It is thought this was due to religious reasons.
While betrothal rings and engagement rings are both worn as a promise to marry, a betrothal ring historically laid out marriage contract terms which were agreed upon. Today, betrothal still holds a deeper level of commitment to marriage on a spiritual level and the betrothal ceremony is still offered in the Catholic Church.
