Traditional wedding vows vs. writing your own wedding vows

Wedding vows are pledges spoken by the bride and groom to each other. These vows communicate both an intent and a promise as they enter into life together. When making wedding vows, traditionally the bride and groom face each other and the groom is the first to say his vows, followed by the bride. A newer, less-traditional practice is for the couple to say their vows in unison, but that leaves no room for uniqueness or individual vows. When considering traditional wedding vows vs. writing your own wedding vows some couples run into resistance, but that is happening less as more and more couples decide to write their own. After all, where did "traditional" vows come from? Somewhere in the past, someone had to write them, right?

The story behind traditional wedding vows

Various religions have their own traditional wedding vows but for the most part they are very similar. The Jewish, Hindus and Muslim religions don’t really have “vows” in the modern sense of the word. And most of the Eastern Orthodox Wedding Vows are made silently except in the Russian tradition. For the most part, though, people think that the “traditional” vows exchanged between brides and grooms today originated in the Book of Common Prayer which dates back to 1549, but they actually go back farther than that to a Sarum rite used in Medieval England. So really, it isn’t unrealistic to want to step away from vows written in the Middle Ages, and today, couples can find updated religious and non-religious wedding vows with a traditional flavor if they want something more modern but don't feel equipped to write their own vows.

How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows

Writing your own wedding vows

Writing your own wedding vows sounds like a good idea on the front end, and for creative writers it can be an exercise in drawing out the exact words hidden in their heart. But not everyone is gifted in that way and for some it takes quite a bit of extra effort. For those who find it difficult or who get stuck in the process, there are handy tools including the 5 steps to getting over your wedding vows writer’s block.

Here is a list of additional resources to help write your wedding vows:

Funny marriage vows: Injecting a little humor in your wedding vows is a great way to ease the tension for couples who find the formal vow-taking a bit nerve wracking. Shutterfly offers a funny marriage vows generator to help couples find ideas when trying to write wedding vows that are a little more lighthearted but still meaningful.

Marriage vows in the Bible: While the Bible doesn’t offer specific wedding vows, it considers marriage itself to be a vow. When writing your own wedding vows, Bible verses on marriage, love, and relationships offers poetic language that expresses what it means to be in love and to pledge yourself to your spouse for the rest of your life. Use these verses to help define your own vows.

• Marriage Bible verses
• Bible Verses About Love in Relationships
• Love Bible verses

Wedding vows template: Sometimes all you need is the guidance of a template or outline to help you find the write words when writing our own vows.

Once you written you've written your wedding vows, read them through again and again to become familiar with saying them. Read them out loud to see if there are any words that don't flow or cause you to verbally stumble. That way you'll be ready to express yourself and say exactly what you want to say on your big day.

Some links in this post are affiliate links. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to amazon.com and affiliate sites.

Thanks so much for being part of our success.

Photo credits: flickr

Traditional marriage vows

When you think of traditional wedding vows what comes to mind? You might be surprised to know that words like 'to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer', all come from the Book of Common Prayer drawn up hundreds of years ago by Thomas Cranmer, a leader of the English Reformation. First written in 1549, the Book of Common Prayer was revised in 1552 and 1662. Within its pages he described the purpose for marriage in this way. “The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord.”

Book of Common Prayer wedding vows

The Man, facing the woman and taking her right hand in his, says

In the Name of God, I, N., take you, N., to be my wife, to

have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse,

for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to

cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

Then they loose their hands, and the Woman, still facing the man, takes

his right hand in hers, and says

In the Name of God, I, N., take you, N., to be my husband,

to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for

worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love

and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my

solemn vow.

Before the Book of Common Prayer

While these traditional wedding vows come from a protestant book, if you look deeper, you’ll find much of it can be found in Catholic medieval rites like the Sarum marriage liturgy which was written in Latin (except for the vows). The thing that makes the ceremony outlined in the Book of Common Prayer stand out is that it was the first to be written totally in English.

 

 

While the Book of Common Prayer describes Christian marriage as a solemn and public covenant between a man and a woman in the presence of God, the most common change in these traditional wedding vows these days is to leave off “In the Name of God.” 

Photo credits: maxpixel, amazon