A look back at wedding reception origins

Sometimes terminology surrounding weddings can leave me scratching my head. That’s one of the reasons I write this blog. I like to hunt down wedding origins and traditions and their meanings. I like to know why we do what we do. For instance, why is a wedding toast called a toast? I’ve already answered that one in the History of the Wedding Toast. And why do we give away the bride? And why is the party following the wedding called a reception? 

My home wedding reception at my parents' home.

Why is a wedding reception called a reception?

That one, is actually a little easier to understand when you realize the word “reception” has more than one definition. If you think of it as “the act or process of receiving something sent, given, or inflicted then it doesn’t seem to fit,” BUT the second meaning is very fitting. “a formal social occasion held to welcome someone or to celebrate a particular event.” However, it turns out that both definitions fit when you look at the receiving line tradition at the reception where guests were greeted by the bride and groom, hosts and parents as they greeted every guest.

Origins of the wedding reception

I recently celebrated my 50^th wedding anniversary, and back when I got married, my middle-class parents hosted the wedding reception in their home. They moved all the furniture out of the living room and dining room and set up rented tables and chairs. We fried chicken, rolled luncheon meat platters, and some of my aunts brought dishes to share. It turns out that in our Western culture, that was the typical wedding reception celebration up until World War II. At that time wedding receptions were usually held in the bride’s home. The family’s financial status determined the style of the reception. A wealthy family might hold an elaborate ball, while a middle-class family might put on an afternoon luncheon and tea like my parents did.

But that goes back only to World War II. What about before that?

 19^th century wedding receptions

In the 19^th century, weddings typically took place early and the wedding reception was most often a breakfast held in the bride’s home. The bride and groom “received” the wedding guests who offered words of congratulation. Etiquette dictated that guests addressed the bride first unless they didn’t know her. In that case, the groom introduced the guests to his new bride after receiving their congratulations. And get this. Congratulations were NEVER offered to the bride because it implied, she was “lucky” to have a man propose to her! How uncouth!

For these breakfast receptions, most often only the bridal party were seated, mostly because homes didn’t have the room to seat everyone. In fact, only a fraction of the guests who attended the wedding were invited to the reception because the average house just couldn’t fit everybody. There was no music or entertainment, but cake was served (but not eaten at the reception). Back then wedding cake was usually a dark, rich fruitcake with white frosting and was cut and boxed and given to guests as they left the reception.

When the bride and groom left the reception breakfast, they were pelted with rice and shoes. Why shoes? Apparently, this was thought to bring good luck and fertility to the bride and groom, if they or their carriage was hit.

18^th Century Wedding Receptions

I didn’t find much information on 18^th century wedding receptions, but I did find info on history.org regarding Courtship and Marriage in Eighteenth Century Colonial Williamsburg which included a blurb about the wedding reception. It was called a wedding party, and held at the bride’s parents’ home. “…male guests would often race each other to the house where the winner received a bottle of alcohol.” And they did have decorations and “a table with white paper chains and lay out white foods for a collation. It included two white cakes. The guests consumed the groom’s cake, and sometimes left the bride’s cake untouched for the couple to save (in a tin of alcohol) to eat on each wedding anniversary. The party could last a few hours or several days.”

Vintage wedding ideas for the modern bride

• Plan your wedding reception at your parents’ home. If that isn’t possible, check with grandparents, and aunt and uncle, or even the parents of the groom. If none of these options are possible, you can always rent a vacation home to accommodate your wedding reception.
• If parents have a small home, plan a backyard wedding reception.
• Add the fun element of male guests racing each other to the house and award the winner with a bottle of alcohol or wine bearing your wedding label. 
• Consider an early wedding followed by a breakfast reception.

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Photo credits: Personal photo used with permission, wikimedia, peakpx, Wikimedia, pexels