5 popular Irish wedding traditions

 

Irish weddings are traditionally a time of celebrating family and friendships from around the world. It is a time of drinking, singing, laughing, and a hearty amount of partying. Amid the celebration, you'll find rich symbolism and a healthy dose of superstition. For this post we take a look at five popular Irish wedding traditions.

 

Irish wedding ring

 

Claddagh ring: The Irish Claddagh ring (pronounced “klahda”) is the traditional Irish wedding ring and also doubles as an engagement ring. Its distinguishing design offers unique symbolism and meaning that means different things depending on how you wear it. Each feature of the ring adds to its meaning: two hands (represent friendship) clasping a heart (symbolizing love) and usually topped by a crown (loyalty). While the meaning is clear, the origins of the Claddagh ring are shrouded among several legends.

 

Irish wedding band: Celtic knot wedding bands are the most popular design for Irish wedding bands because Celtic knot designs are crafted with a single thread that has no beginning or end. They symbolize the interconnection of life and eternity. On a wedding band, these loops are said to represent: eternal loyalty, faith, friendship, or love.

Handfasting

Before the church became involved in weddings, the handfasting ceremony was common in Ireland. It became the way couples were "officially" married. Today, this tradition is commonly used by couples for their unity ceremony, and the meaning of colors for handfasting cords adds another layer of symbolism and meaning to the couple’s special day.

 

 

Traditional Irish wedding toast

 

As far as wording goes, there isn’t one historic Irish wedding toast to fall back on. But the tradition of the Irish wedding toast does have a few idiosyncrasies to follow. Number one, the toast is to honor the couple. Even if the toast is funny, it should not put the bride and/or groom down. Secondly, it is common practice to use an Irish blessing, prayer, or proverb. For ideas, check out the Complete Guide to Irish Blessings.

Brass Claddagh Bell

 

Irish wedding bell tradition

The Irish wedding bell tradition started with the family giving the bride and groom a set of bells after they recited their vows. The couple rang the bells to ward off evil spirits and brought the bells home where they served as a reminder of the vows they made on their wedding day. Today, the Irish wedding bell is a popular wedding gift for Irish couples. It is to be kept in a prominent place in the home and when the couple argues they ring the bell to remind them of their wedding vows. If the dispute can’t be settled cordially, the bell is rung a little louder. This is supposed to purify and dispel stimulated emotions and change the perspective of the couple. This sounding of the bell also signals the end of the argument, even if neither the husband nor wife has ceded. It serves as a time out of sorts and allows the couple to cool down. For this reason, it is also known as the Irish make up bell.

 

The lucky Irish horseshoe

The horseshoe happens to be another Irish wedding icon. The shoes were traditionally given to the bride, most often by children following her wedding ceremony. She tied them to her bouquet and placed the whole lot next to the wedding cake during the wedding breakfast. I also read that the Celts sewed a horseshoe into the hem of the wedding dress for good luck. (This not only brought luck but also helped the dress hang properly). Have you ever wondered why a horseshoe was considered good luck in the first place? According to folk belief, iron held magical significance for the numerous Celtic tribes, and they thought it a lucky metal. Besides good luck, the Irish also believed the horseshoe to be a symbol of fertility. Following the wedding, the couple hung the horseshoe in their home, in the upright position like the letter ‘U’. This way luck gathered inside the U. (It’s worth noting that other societies believe the horseshoe should be hung upside-down to allow the luck to spill out on those who walk beneath it.

 

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Adding a quaich ceremony to your wedding

Couples looking to add something vintage but unique to their wedding experience might want to consider adding a quaich ceremony to their plans. This involves a traditional Scottish two-handled cup known as a quaich (from the Scottish Gaelic cuach which means “cup”). While it is called a cup, I'd say it looks more like a shallow bowl with two handles. It is sometimes called the “cup of friendship” and often is referred to as the “love cup” but no matter what you call it, it brings a rich tradition to any wedding with a quaich ceremony. It can also be used at the reception for the couple to take their first toast together and it makes a lovely keepsake to be handed down to future generations.

History of the quaich cup

The meaning behind the traditional quaich cup is not a legendary love story like the German Bridal Cup. What history we do have is permeated with myth and conjecture. What we do know is that its original purpose was as a vessel to drink whiskey or brandy. Some say the invention of cup was inspired by the fact that Highlanders drank a dram from scallop shells before they had the quaich. Others date it back to the Celtic Druids who are said to have used them in their ceremonies. The fact is, no one really knows for sure. 

Another thing we do know is that the original cups were much simpler than what we have today. They were carved from a single block of wood and were commonly offered to a visitor with a welcoming drink.

Meaning of the quaich cup

Originally, the humble wooden quaich represented friendship. So offering the cup to welcome a visitor was kind of like a handshake presented by a clan chief or a crofter. But it was more than a handshake, because as the cup was passed from one man to another it required them to use both hands. That meant they couldn’t be holding a weapon. It was a symbol of trust between fellow drinkers.

It wasn’t until the 17^th century that goldsmiths started to craft quaich cups using precious metals. At this point, the shape of the cup was also adapted to be less clunky and daintier in order to suit the refined tastes of the upper classes of the Scottish Lowlands.

Quaich wedding ceremony

A simple quaich ceremony practiced at weddings taps into the use of the quaich as a symbolic gesture of welcome to the drinker. One possibility is to first have the groom's parents hand the cup to the bride. Then have the bride's parents hand it to the groom. As this is done, everyone takes a sip from the cup as a gesture of welcoming new members to the family. 

Some couples pass the quaich to the wedding party too as a symbol of everyone sharing in the happy couple's love and happiness. I suggest if you want to go that route, that you supply individual quaichs for each person to drink from. For a special touch, have them engraved with the date of the wedding and the couples’ names. 

There isn't an exact script to follow or a specific practice when it comes to the quaich ceremony. If you are looking for more inspiration, the Argyll and Butte Council offers a wealth of ideas. If you plan to add the quaich ceremony to your wedding because you have Scottish ancestral roots, you might want to pair it with the handfasting ceremony as another strong cultural element that offers layers of symbolism and special meaning.

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Photo credits: Apie / CC BY-SA, By Robin-wood - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0

A look back at wedding reception origins

Sometimes terminology surrounding weddings can leave me scratching my head. That’s one of the reasons I write this blog. I like to hunt down wedding origins and traditions and their meanings. I like to know why we do what we do. For instance, why is a wedding toast called a toast? I’ve already answered that one in the History of the Wedding Toast. And why do we give away the bride? And why is the party following the wedding called a reception? 

My home wedding reception at my parents' home.

Why is a wedding reception called a reception?

That one, is actually a little easier to understand when you realize the word “reception” has more than one definition. If you think of it as “the act or process of receiving something sent, given, or inflicted then it doesn’t seem to fit,” BUT the second meaning is very fitting. “a formal social occasion held to welcome someone or to celebrate a particular event.” However, it turns out that both definitions fit when you look at the receiving line tradition at the reception where guests were greeted by the bride and groom, hosts and parents as they greeted every guest.

Origins of the wedding reception

I recently celebrated my 50^th wedding anniversary, and back when I got married, my middle-class parents hosted the wedding reception in their home. They moved all the furniture out of the living room and dining room and set up rented tables and chairs. We fried chicken, rolled luncheon meat platters, and some of my aunts brought dishes to share. It turns out that in our Western culture, that was the typical wedding reception celebration up until World War II. At that time wedding receptions were usually held in the bride’s home. The family’s financial status determined the style of the reception. A wealthy family might hold an elaborate ball, while a middle-class family might put on an afternoon luncheon and tea like my parents did.

But that goes back only to World War II. What about before that?

 19^th century wedding receptions

In the 19^th century, weddings typically took place early and the wedding reception was most often a breakfast held in the bride’s home. The bride and groom “received” the wedding guests who offered words of congratulation. Etiquette dictated that guests addressed the bride first unless they didn’t know her. In that case, the groom introduced the guests to his new bride after receiving their congratulations. And get this. Congratulations were NEVER offered to the bride because it implied, she was “lucky” to have a man propose to her! How uncouth!

For these breakfast receptions, most often only the bridal party were seated, mostly because homes didn’t have the room to seat everyone. In fact, only a fraction of the guests who attended the wedding were invited to the reception because the average house just couldn’t fit everybody. There was no music or entertainment, but cake was served (but not eaten at the reception). Back then wedding cake was usually a dark, rich fruitcake with white frosting and was cut and boxed and given to guests as they left the reception.

When the bride and groom left the reception breakfast, they were pelted with rice and shoes. Why shoes? Apparently, this was thought to bring good luck and fertility to the bride and groom, if they or their carriage was hit.

18^th Century Wedding Receptions

I didn’t find much information on 18^th century wedding receptions, but I did find info on history.org regarding Courtship and Marriage in Eighteenth Century Colonial Williamsburg which included a blurb about the wedding reception. It was called a wedding party, and held at the bride’s parents’ home. “…male guests would often race each other to the house where the winner received a bottle of alcohol.” And they did have decorations and “a table with white paper chains and lay out white foods for a collation. It included two white cakes. The guests consumed the groom’s cake, and sometimes left the bride’s cake untouched for the couple to save (in a tin of alcohol) to eat on each wedding anniversary. The party could last a few hours or several days.”

Vintage wedding ideas for the modern bride

• Plan your wedding reception at your parents’ home. If that isn’t possible, check with grandparents, and aunt and uncle, or even the parents of the groom. If none of these options are possible, you can always rent a vacation home to accommodate your wedding reception.
• If parents have a small home, plan a backyard wedding reception.
• Add the fun element of male guests racing each other to the house and award the winner with a bottle of alcohol or wine bearing your wedding label. 
• Consider an early wedding followed by a breakfast reception.

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Photo credits: Personal photo used with permission, wikimedia, peakpx, Wikimedia, pexels