Wedding etiquette to help with reception seating headache

Making a list of who is invited to the wedding and reception can be quite an event in itself as couples have to determine where to draw the line, but after that is done, figuring out wedding reception seating can be a feat in itself. In fact, I’d say it’s probably the least fun part of wedding planning as you try to figure out what combinations will work out best socially. Wedding etiquette, when it comes to reception seating, actually allows room for your preferences and will depend on the parameters of your venue size and the tables you have to work with. We’ll start with the traditional bridal table and then look at other options popular today.

 

Traditional bridal table

The bridal table, also known as the “top table” or “head table” is the table where the bride and groom are seated. Traditionally, the bride and groom are seated at the center of a long rectangular table with the bride on the groom’s right. The maid/matron of honor and best man are seated on either side of the bride and groom. This arrangement will depend on the seating pattern you desire. If you want a boy/girl pattern at the bridal table, seat the best man next to the bride and the maid of honor next to the groom. Otherwise, the bridesmaids are seated next to the bride and the groomsmen are seated next to the groom.

A bride and groom only table is known as a sweetheart table.

Bride and groom only table

If the reception is held in a smaller venue, or the bride and groom want to be the focal point of the reception, or it’s just become too much hassle deciding who gets to sit at the bridal table, a smaller table for just the bride and groom is another option. Traditionally the groom sits on the right of the bride. If you go this route, you have a couple of options of where to seat your wedding party. You can set up a table designated for the wedding party, or they can be seated with the rest of your guests at the table of honor or with other close friends.

A sweetheart table only seats the bride and groom.

Table of honor

The table of honor is situated near the bridal table. Here the parents of the bride and groom are seated along with the wedding officiant and grandparents.

Family table

What if you come from a close-knit family and you want your families at the bridal table? Believe it or not, this arrangement is considered “traditional” in Ireland. If you want to follow this etiquette, parents of the couples sit on either side of the bride and groom along with the maid of honor and best man. Parents of the groom next to the groom and parents of the bride beside the bride. Or they can be seated at the ends of the table or directly next to the couple. Siblings of the bride and groom fill in the remaining seats and all enjoy the meal as one big, happy family. (Hopefully.)

Seating for wedding guests

Now that we’ve covered the bridal table what about the seating for the rest of the guests? That will, again, depend on your venue as well as who you’ve invited. However, wedding etiquette dictates that the table closest to the bride and groom be reserved for the couple’s closest family and friends. 

Where are ring bearers and flower girls seated?

If the wedding party includes ring bearers and flower girls you have a variety of options. Not every child is the same so you will have to make your decision on where to seat them based on who they are.

• If you think they are mature enough to dine with adults who aren’t their parents they can be seated at the head table. 
• If they are younger, but their parents are in the wedding party, then they can still be seated at the bridal table.
• Younger children whose parents are seated at one of the other tables at the reception will probably be happiest seated with their parents.
• Set up a “children’s table” complete with activities just for them.

Seating at a wedding reception can be a sensitive issue. While there is no cut and dried rules to follow, tradition can help you make the tough decisions.

Photo credits: Photo by Craig Adderley from Pexels, needpix, piqsels, pikrepo, flickr

Meaning of colors for handfasting cords

The handfasting wedding ceremony is rich with symbolism and fluid enough for couples to make their own when incorporating it into their special day. Even the material used for the binding means something. Ribbons are delicate while cords are a symbol of strength, and for couples choosing to use multiple colors, each color brings with it another symbolic meaning adding yet another special layer to the vows being exchanged.

Meaning of colors for handfasting cords

Like I said, handfasting is a fluid ritual. It doesn’t have a hard and fast traditional practice to be followed. For instance, there isn’t a specific number of cords or ribbons to be used. And as far as the material that too is flexible, but avoid waxed cords because they aren't flexible. The ancient Romans didn't use cords or ribbons but fashioned their handfasting ties from magnolias, elder and roses.

Today, most couples choose colored ribbons or cords with each color holding a symbolic meaning. Some couples then braid the cords or ribbons together. 
 

Ribbons offer a wide variety of colors to choose from.

But as for the meanings, they too seem to be fluid, not in everyone’s mind, but in general, various meanings are afforded each color:

• Black: pure love, wisdom, success, strength
• Blue: fidelity, longevity, strength, safe journey
• Brown: Nurturing, home and hearth, healing
• Gold: wisdom, prosperity, longevity
• Gray: balance, neutrality
• Green: fertility and growth, love, luck, prosperity, nurturing
• Orange: kindness, encouragement, adaptability, attraction
• Pink: love, happiness, unity, romance, honor, truth
• Purple: spiritual strength, power, health, healing
• Red: passion, love, courage, strength, health, vigor
• Silver: protection, inspiration and vision, creativity
• White: purity, serenity, peace, truth, devotion
• Yellow: harmony, balance, attraction confidence

How long should handfasting cords be?

One more thing worth mentioning as long as we are talking about handfasting cords is their length. No matter what material you choose for your handfasting, plan to cut the ties to be about a yard long. A little shorter can work, but be careful not to make them too short so that you run out of cord during the handfasting as your taking your vows! And remember, when you braid, that will make them shorter.

If you don’t want to go with these meanings and rather choose colors that complement the theme of your wedding, you’re free to do that too. That’s the nice thing about this wedding tradition. It’s rich in meaning and symbolism on so many levels that it is easy to tweak and make it your own and yet still mean so much.

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Photo credits: wikimedia 

Why people used to get married on Christmas Day

Today, the winter months of January, February and March hold the record as the least popular months to get married. Instead, most couples favor spring weddings, late summer weddings or getting married in early fall. However, at one time, Christmas Day was one of the most popular days to get married and it wasn’t because the couple wanted a holiday themed wedding. It was something much more practical. 

Brides most often wore their best dress

Why Christmas Day weddings were popular in the 1800s

Getting married on Christmas Day was a popular tradition among the working class in the 18th and 19th centuries in inner-city areas. In the 1800s, most working-class people were expected to work six days a week and if they missed a day, they didn’t get paid for it. For the most part, people couldn’t afford a day off without pay, and that included their wedding day. 

For these reasons, most weddings were held on Sundays back then and were small, simple affairs. The guest list, if there was one, was very short. The bride and groom wore their best outfits and following the short ceremony the handful of people attending celebrated by dancing and “making merry” either at their home or a local pub.

Many people were often stuck working on Christmas day (think of Bob Cratchit hoping his boss Ebenezer Scrooge would give him the day off in the Christmas Carol), but for the lucky couples who had the day off with pay, Christmas Day offered something special. First of all, the church was adorned with festive holiday decorations. Some churches even offered Christmas Day specials of free marriages on December 25. In fact, it wasn’t unusual to have group weddings because so many people took advantage of the offer.

It wasn’t until working conditions improved in the 20^th century that the tradition of Christmas weddings fell by the wayside.

Wedding celebrated by dancing and “making merry”

Downside of getting married on a holiday

While getting married on a holiday may seem like a good idea because you have time off work, in today's culture that means your anniversary always falls on that holiday and if you want to plan an anniversary getaway, you’ll always make reservations for accommodations and travel when holiday prices are higher . And you’ll even have to fight the crowds when trying to make reservations for your favorite restaurant. Just something to think about.

Photo credits: Wikipedia