About Wedding Traditions & Meanings

Monday, February 7, 2022

How we mirror Ancient Egyptian wedding ring traditions

When looking into the history of wedding traditions, it is surprising how many of them can trace back to ancient Egypt. The wearing of wedding rings, for example, was recorded within 6000-year-old Egyptian papyrus rolls. These first wedding rings were crafted from braided hemp or reeds and worn as a marital status symbol. The husband placed the ring on his wife’s finger, a custom which entrusted and entitled them both to each other. Over time, this practice evolved to include more durable rings crafted of leather, bone, or ivory, and eventually, they advanced enough to work with various precious gemstones and metals such as gold.

 

 

Ancient Egyptian wedding ring beliefs

 

Ancient Egyptian pharaohs considered the circle to be a symbol of eternity because it had no beginning or end, and with this in mind, the wedding ring served to signify the perpetual love of the spouses. These beliefs are still held by many today, but one belief the ancients held that we haven’t adopted is the belief that the opening in the ring denoted a gateway to the unknown.

 

The custom of wearing the wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand also originated in this culture because the ancient Egyptians believed a special vein, the vena amoris (vein of love) ran from this finger directly to the heart. The ancient Romans adopted this belief and wore wedding rings on the same finger. While this belief isn’t anatomically correct, today in the West, we still call this finger the “ring finger.”

 


Passing on the wedding ring tradition

 

One of the oldest ring symbols in the world is the Egyptian ouroboros ring. It portrays a serpent swallowing its tail creating the eternal cycle of things. The word ouroboros means “tail devourer” in Greek. 

 


Later history includes ornamental finger rings worn by wealthy Egyptian women. This included the famed scarab design. Rings became more common, and by the Middle Kingdom grew more complex. Over time Greek and Roman rings styles supplanted Egyptian styles during the Ptolemaic dynasty. 

 

When Alexander the Great conquered the Egyptians, the Greeks adopted the practice of giving rings to their lovers. These rings were thought to represent devotion, and many of them depicted Eros or Cupid, the god of love. Then Rome conquered Greece. They also adopted the wedding ring tradition but with iron and copper wedding rings. The iron rings sometimes bore key designs that symbolized that the wife now had control of the household goods. By the 2nd century CE, most wedding rings were gold, and by the 3rd and 4th centuries CE the style of gold wedding rings became more luxurious and a way to flaunt the giver’s wealth.

 

We mirror the Ancient Egyptian wedding ring traditions in that we even have wedding rings, that we wear them on our left hand ring finger, and that they indicate our marital status. Over 6000 years, rings have changed but why they are worn has not.

 

Wednesday, January 5, 2022

Ancient Mesopotamian wedding customs

In Western culture, we enjoy the freedom to marry someone we love. In many ancient cultures, the freedom to marry who you wanted or when you wanted was not an option. Such was the case in ancient Mesopotamia, where marriage was more a transaction than a relationship. There, the primary reason for marriage was to produce children. Children were such a significant factor that if a wife proved to be barren, it allowed the husband to take a second wife. (This did not permit him to divorce his first wife). And if the husband could not produce offspring, some sources mention "sacred prostitution" in which wives went to the temple to have sex with strangers to get pregnant.


The annual bride auction

Before we look at arranged marriages in ancient Mesopotamia, I have to mention the bride auction. This custom held throughout Mesopotamian villages once a year allowed fathers to put their daughters up for auction and sell them to the highest bidder.

 

Arranged marriages

Most often marriages were negotiated between families outside the bride auction. Yes, negotiated. Arranged marriages were commonplace in the ancient world, including Mesopotamia, Rome, and Greece. This custom is still traditionally practiced today in India, Korea, Japan, Pakistan, and Bangladesh. 

 

In ancient Mesopotamia, the head of the family had one wife (during the Old Babylonian Period, the groom had to determine whether to have a second wife of lesser rank or a concubine).

 


Four components of ancient Mesopotamian marriage

Each of these steps had to be completed to make the marriage legal.

  1. The engagement/marriage contract: Think of this as the engagement ring with all the details spelled out and agreed upon.
  2. Bride price payment: When an agreement was reached the ceremony of Betrothal took place. It involved the future husband and his family members giving the bride-to-be gifts and provisions like gold, silver, lead, or food for the wedding feast. He then poured oil and perfume on her head. The bride-to-be often received additional provisions from her husband in the form of property for use after his death. This property remained hers even if the marriage ended in divorce. If the bride died before her husband, this property remained the inalienable property of her children.
  3. Marriage feast: Even the marriage feast was necessary to establish the legitimacy of the marriage.
  4. The bride moved to her father-in-law’s house to consummate the marriage: The goal of consummation was for the bride to get pregnant. If this didn’t happen, it was grounds for the bride to be returned to her father. And if she was not found to be a virgin, the marriage could be annulled.


Ancient Mesopotamian wedding

Before the actual wedding, the bride washed her body with soap and water, applied creams, perfumes and sweet smelling herbs to her body and lips, and applied eyeliner. She dressed in an expensive dress, and accessorized with gold and silver. It was nothing like the wedding ceremonies we practice today other than the father walking his daughter to the groom. If the bride and groom were free citizens, the husband veiled his bride in the presence of witnesses and declared 'she is my wife'.

 

After the wedding, they went to the groom's father's home to consummate the marriage. 

 

After that, the husband and wife settled down to the routines of daily life. For the husband, this was usually his only marriage, as long as the wife lived and provided children. It was not uncommon, however, to have another spouse or even a concubine.

 

Undocumented marriage

Evidence shows that some ancient Mesopotamian men and women lived together without a marriage contract. In these circumstances, the couples were not considered officially married because King Hammurabi’s code laws stated that unwritten or undocumented marriage would not be acknowledged. For this reason, couples who chose this path were denied legal rights formally married couples enjoyed, but evidence shows that many of these couples married for love and companionship rather than a business transaction.

 

Photo credits: By Edwin Long, wikimedia, wikimedia