About Wedding Traditions & Meanings

Thursday, January 5, 2023

Polish Bread and salt wedding tradition

Weddings offer the perfect opportunity for couples to embrace wedding traditions tied to familial cultural roots. Among polish wedding traditions, one that many brides and grooms choose to include on their wedding day is the bread and salt tradition. 

Historically, bread and salt is at the center of traditional welcome ceremonies in Slavic and European cultures as well as Middle Eastern cultures. Over time it has been adopted as a pleasant and meaningful way to celebrate two families coming together as the parents of the bride and groom welcome the newlywed couple to the wedding reception.

 


Bread and salt tradition

While the bread and salt wedding tradition is a European tradition, its origins are generally attributed to Poland where the welcoming with bread and salt is an honored custom. Today it is most often observed as part of the wedding celebration as newlyweds are greeted with bread and salt by their parents at the wedding reception. An announcement is made:

“This is a long cherished Polish tradition which has been passed down through the centuries. It symbolizes the union of the Bride and Groom and their families.”

The parents of the bride and groom greet the newlyweds with a loaf of wedding bread sprinkled with salt and a glass of wine. The parents say, "According to our Old Polish tradition, we greet you with bread and salt so that your home might always enjoy abundance." Then they offer the bread to the newlyweds to eat followed by a glass of wine from which the bride and groom drink. The parents then kiss the bride and groom and welcome then to the family.


Symbolism of bread and salt ceremony

  • Bread: Represents the parents' hope that their children will never experience hunger or need. 
  • Salt: Salt sprinkled on the bread is a reminder to the couple that their life may be difficult at times, and they must learn to cope with life's struggles together. 
  • Wine: Wine symbolizes the parents' hope that the bride and groom will never thirst and will have a life of good health and cheer and that they will share the company of many good friends. 
  • Kiss: This parents' kiss is a symbol of their love and unity.
 

 

Sta Lot

The bread and salt ceremony concludes with the song Sta Lot. It wishes good luck to the couple that lasts for 100 years. This celebration is big and wedding guests really enjoy it. Here is a rough translation of the main verse:

May their star of prosperity

Never extinguish!

Never extinguish!

And whoever won't sing with us

May they sleep under the table!

May they sleep under the table!


At the conclusion of this short ceremony, the bride, groom, and their parents proceed to their tables and await the saying of grace before the meal.

 

Photo credits: Forever Video, Polishroots


 


Saturday, December 17, 2022

A closer look at the origins of the word wedding

The study of the origin of words and the way in which their meanings have changed throughout history is known as etymology. Since this blog takes a closer look at all things wedding and their origins, I thought it would be fun to look into the origins of the word wedding. What I found might surprise you, though if you read this blog regularly, then maybe not.

 

Etymology of the word wedding

The easiest way to learn the etymology of a word these days is to visit the online etymology dictionary. In the case of the word wedding, the dictionary started with the Old English weddung (n) "state of being wed; pledge, betrothal; action of marrying." That isn’t really any different than how we think of the word wedding today, or is it? Did those words mean something different in the past than they do today?


When you come to understand the Old English word used for the ceremony was bridelope (bridal run) it is a heads up that maybe things didn’t quite mean the same as we view them now. Turns out this term dates back to A.D. 950 (brydlopa). This custom involved a ‘run for the bride-door.’ This ancient tradition was both symbolic and actual. The bride was swept off on horseback to her husband’s home by him. At times this act involved a helper who later was known at the best man.

So, if we have the ceremony described as bridelope as described above, what did the word wedding mean? The Anglo-Saxon root word wedd (‘to gamble, wager’) first referred to livestock or other payment by the groom to the bride’s father, as a more civilized alternative to abduction. According to the etymology dictionary which differentiated the noun wed from the Old English verb weddian, “to pledge oneself, covenant to do something, vow; betroth, marry.” It moved on to the Old Norse veðja, and Danish vedde which means “to bet, wager." Interesting. The coming together of two people in marriage was considered a wager. I can see that. When we take our vows, we are betting the other person will keep their promise, or at least what we assumed the promise to mean. This carries us to the Old Frisian weddia which means "to promise." Without going more in depth, other meanings included "to pledge, to redeem a pledge."

 


20th century meaning of wedding

For more insight, I referenced a book titled Wedding Customs then and Now published in 1919 to learn what people thought in more recent times yet still long ago. The second chapter of the book is titled “Buying Wives.” It opens with, “The etymology of the very name ‘wedding’ betrays the character of the second stage in the development of matrimony. The ‘wed’ was the money, horses, cattle, or ornaments given as security by the Saxon groom and held by trustees as a pledge and as a proof of the purchase of the bride from her father.”

When I hear the word pledge used in regard to marriage, what comes to mind these days is the engagement ring. It represents a promise to marry, but I’ve never thought of it as a purchasing mechanism. Back in 18th century England, instead of just announcing engagements, the amount accompanying a bride was proudly published. Can you imagine? 

 

Marriage contracts

Before Shakespeare’s time, the parson or his clerk served like a town crier announcing from the church steps the amount given the bride and her father. Why? This act provided witnesses to the marriage contract. The amount paid was supposed to be around one-third of the husband’s property. These marriage contracts stipulated exact regulations for buying of wives. The future husband paid an amount referred to as a foster-lien. This money was given to the parents who fostered the bride through childhood, and these contracts were considered binding until death.

Not everyone held to the contract. Some parents reneged and fraud was not uncommon. Some fathers accepted multiple foster-liens from different men in the years before the marriage and then gave his daughter to someone else. Another form of fraud came in the form of what we could call false advertisement today, when a father boasted of his daughter’s attributes and qualities in exaggerated terms. 

Back in Saxon days, the king decreed the money be refunded in such cases. This caused problems of its own, so another custom was initiated to help curb the problem. They linked this new custom with a popular newlywed gift-giving tradition in which a husband gave his new wife a small gift the morning after the marriage. The new statue said the bride “could not be brought back after receiving such a token of contentment.” 

The Church got involved, too, and the clergy demanded fraudulent fathers who accepted more than one lien had to pay back four times the amount if he did not deliver the bride.


Did the bride have a say?

Think of the woman’s role in all this. According to Instruction to a Christian Woman by Louis Vives, “a decent girl should not think of expressing any wish as to what man should be her husband.” Most of the time, she was not consulted in the process. Many times, contracts were written up while the couples were still babies. At the other end of this spectrum, some marriages were postponed by relatives who didn’t want the marriage. At the extreme, is the example of the marriage of Robert Phillips, Esq., (brother of John Phillips, the poet), who was eighty when he married Miss Anna Bowdler, who was close to the same age. They had been engaged for sixty years!

I don’t know about you, but I am certainly happy to be living in this day in age in a country where I have a voice regarding my life and in a culture where the word wedding means a "marriage ceremony, especially considered as including the associated celebrations."

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Image credits:

Record dated Nov. 25, 1486, of financial arrangements between the Piccolomini and Bandinelli families of Siena regarding the future marriage between Bernardinus Piccolomini and Antonia Bandinelli. Bottom portion of manuscript cut off with loss of text.

 Painting by Joseph Wright of Derby: An Experiment on a Bird in the Air Pump, by Derby, J. W. o., National Gallery, London. (https://ndla.no/article/32348).

Friday, November 11, 2022

Wedding ring customs from the ancient world

Delving into the history of wedding rings leads to ancient cultures with rings crafted of similar materials but symbolizing different meanings. Where did the wedding ring custom get its start? Like many ancient customs it is not something agreed upon even by historians. In my research, I give that nod of the head toward the ancient Egyptians, but some suggest it goes back all the way to the Neanderthals.

 

ancient wedding rings

Wedding ring customs through the centuries

Marriage existed throughout ancient cultures around the world. And from this tradition came the custom of wedding rings. The look of wedding rings has changed throughout the centuries. Earliest rings were crafted of leather, ivory or bone. While the materials used were similar among early cultures, it's interesting to note that what wedding rings represented differed from one culture to another.


 

Ancient Egyptian wedding rings

The origin of wedding rings isn’t one hundred percent certain, but based on archeological evidence dating back 3000 years, most historians agree that ancient Egypt was the first culture to exchange wedding rings. These rings were intricately crafted into beautiful jewelry from braided reeds and hemp and placed on the fourth finger as a symbol of the love. However, the ring exchange was not part of a public wedding ceremony but took place in private with rings presented as gifts. Historians have determined through hieroglyphics that the shape of the ring, the circle, symbolized eternal life and the opening in the center was thought to be a portal to a future between two newlyweds.

 


Ancient Roman wedding rings

Marriages in ancient Rome had to conform to Roman law and were categorized by social class. This included three different categories of weddings: Usus, Coemptio, and Confarreatio. For the lowest class, the word for marriage was Usus. Today, we can compare it to a common-law marriage. For the next class up, marriage was known as the Coemptio and involved purchasing the bride. In this case, not all historians agree on whether this was an actual purchase or a symbolic sale, but either way, the ring represented a purchase. However, neither of these marriages were considered legal.

 

Roman key ring

The only authorized marriage in Ancient Rome was the Confarreatio, a privilege reserved for the elite upper class. These marriages were presided over and the groom presented his bride with a ring during the ceremony. The wedding ring tradition began with rings made of flint and bone. Later rings were crafted of copper, silver, and gold. Most Confarreatio rings were crafted of iron or gold with the iron ring worn in private and the gold ring worn in public. Even in these upper-class marriages, the rings were not considered symbols of love but rather symbols of possession—that the wife belonged to the husband. However, in the brides favor, it also meant that the married woman had a right to her husband’s possessions. 

 

Ancient Greek wedding rings

The first Ancient Greek wedding rings were also crafted of leather, ivory or bone, but when metal rings were introduced, a simple gold band was worn on the left hand as an engagement ring and was then moved to the right hand when married. Later gold rings inlaid with colorful gems, crystals, or glass became popular. These precious rings were often passed from one generation to the next becoming the first heirloom rings. 


Indian wedding rings

Historically, in Ancient India, according to Manu Smiriti, the laws of Manu or Manava Dharma Shastra, eight main forms of Hindu marriages existed in ancient India. I will create another post to explain that in detail at another time. In ancient India, gold was the most idolized form of jewelry. This love of gold jewelry even extended to dressing animals, like elephants, in intricate gem-studded pieces. It is thought that this love for jewelry stemmed from the culture’s belief in mystical qualities thought to protect the wearer from evil. Traditional Indian brides wore the wedding ring on the right hand because the left hand is considered unclean.

A couple of other things worth mentioning include the Nath, also commonly known as the nose stud or Indian bridal nose ring. Ancient Indian brides (and brides today) wore this bridal nose ring with a long chain of gold connected to the ear. This is not a wedding ring but is part of the bride’s ensemble. 

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Photo credits: pixnio.com