Wedding traditions for the groom

When it comes to the groom’s traditional wedding duties, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Popping the question and placing the ring on the finger of the love of his life. But what this blog post is going to look at is the actual wedding day and wedding traditions for the groom.

Things for the groom to do on wedding day

While this shouldn't have to be said, one of the most important things for the groom to do on his wedding day is to show up for the ceremony on time. With that said, according to traditions listed in Emily Post the groom's traditional responsibilities include:

• Hand the wedding officiant the fee (donation) or make arrangements for the best man to do so
• Stand in the receiving line (if there is one) or join the bride in greeting all the guests at the reception
• Make a toast and respond to toasts at the reception
• Dance the first dance with the bride
• Dance with his mother
• Dance with the maid/matron of honor
• Cut the wedding cake with the bride

Superstition based traditions for the groom

Along with the traditional responsibilities there's one wedding day tradition for the groom that's steeped in superstition. The groom carrying the bride across the threshold. This tradition is very old and can be traced back to Roman times. The original belief was that the groom carried the bride over the threshold to protect her from evil spirits lurking within the new home. Along with this, it was thought that if she tripped as she entered the doorway it would bring the couple bad luck. Thus, being carried over the threshold took care of it all.

New wedding tradition

All traditions start somewhere, and while this one is new enough that I’m not sure it constitutes as a tradition now, but I think it has the potential of becoming a popular one.

Writing a love letter: The groom writing a love letter to his bride for her to read before the ceremony. I’ve seen videos of the bride reading such a letter trying not to spoil her wedding makeup. And it is worth saying here, that the bride should write one to her groom. 

Love letters make such a perfect keepsake.

Photo credits: pexels.com, wikimedia

Ideas for a medieval wedding theme

Whether you’re a fantasy fan or a Middle Ages history buff, a medieval wedding theme offers a fun way to bring a special-to-you unique touch to your wedding. Of course, you’ll have to put aside the fact that most marriages in the middle ages were arranged and just use traditions linked to customs that work for today. The good news is there are plenty of them.

Medieval wedding traditions still practiced today

Medieval wedding traditions still practiced today include wedding vows (much of the same wording is still utilized today), the bride still stands on the left and groom on the right (a tradition tied to the history of the best man), the ring exchange and the fact that the ring is still placed on the fourth finger of the left hand – all these are basically the same as during the Middle Ages. And then there is the large feast and a time for music and dancing following the wedding ceremony.

This foundation of rituals gives brides and grooms plenty to work with, and if you’re a creative couple, the following medieval wedding practices can provide the artistic fodder needed to make your day original and special. Think medieval wedding decorations, a venue such as a castle wedding, dressing in period clothing, and coming up with a medieval menu for your feast.

Peasant weddings were often held in a barn or outdoors.

Medieval marriage facts

The first question to ask yourself is: Do you want a peasant marriage from the middle ages or something more like the marriage of a noble or even a royal? Here's what you need to know:

• Peasant marriage in the middle ages: Peasant women had the most freedom when it came to marriage because those of the lower class were free to marry for love though many took place more because of need. You see, because they were poor, peasants were often needed to help with family work. As a result, they often married later and the ceremony was simple and they held their feast in a barn or outdoors.
• Medieval royal wedding traditions: While royal weddings in the Middle Ages were filled with pomp they were most often political in nature and never amounted to more than that for the bride and groom.
• Noble marriage in the middle ages: Nobel marriages were for the most part more of a contract than a celebration as we think of a wedding today. Husbands and wife were often promised at birth and didn’t even know each other. Weddings could take place once the girl reached puberty and it was common for nobility to hold a wedding ball.

Medieval wedding decorations

In Medieval times, tapestries decorated the walls. A raised table would be located at one end of the hall to seat the lord and his family plus any distinguished guests. On the main floor, two tables seated the rest of the guests who were seated on stools on only one side of the table so they could see the lord. 

 

The medieval wedding feast

The medieval wedding feast included family and friends. The menu offered things like fruit, soup or stew, roasts, tarts and other pastries including pies. The meal often ended with cracker-like wafers, cheese, and candied fruits. The couple drank wine and were entertained with love songs and poems performed by minstrels. (Picture a DJ dressed as a minstrel.) The medieval wedding cake was nothing like what we have today, so if you want to do something medieval, you’d serve an unsweetened loaf of bread. And you might even crumble it over the head of the bride and let guests gather up crumbs for good luck. Here are a few other historical facts that could make things memorable:

• Forks hadn’t been invented yet, so no forks and guests were required to bring their own spoon and knife and stoup to drink from. These drinking vessels were commonly crafted of wood or clay.
• 3-7 courses would be served but back then each course could include a mix of appetizers, main courses or desserts.
• Guests were numbered in groups (called a “mess”) of 2-6 people who would “share” the food set before them.
• Between courses as the tables were cleared, guests were provided with entertainment. Think jugglers, musicians, court jester.

Medieval Celebrations: How to Plan Holidays, Weddings, and Feasts with Recipes, Customs and Costumes

Medieval wedding game

For fun, instead of clinking glasses, in medieval times guests stacked buns as high as they could in front of the newlyweds. Back then, the belief was that this brought prosperity IF the bride and groom could kiss each other while standing on opposite sides of the stack.

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Photo credits: wikimedia, Wikimedia, wikimedia

Guess what ancient Viking brides focused on instead of the dress

In the West, many brides-to-be go on the hunt for the perfect wedding dress for their big day and spare no expense, but this wasn’t the case for ancient Viking brides. When it came to Viking wedding clothes, the focus wasn’t on the wedding gown but on the bride’s hair and the bridal headpiece – a wedding crown.

Viking bridal hairstyles

 

In the Viking culture, women wore long hair. In fact, the longer the hair the better because it represented their sexual appeal. Blonde hair was the most valued and brunette women often chose to bleach their hair using soap which contained lye to give them red or golden blond hair. Before marriage, women wore their hair loose and long or sometimes braided in two braids hanging past their ears and so bridal hairstyles for Viking brides were basic and very simple.

 

Long hair symbolized the bride's sexual appeal -- the longer the better.

 

Viking bridal crown

Before marriage, a medieval Scandinavian woman wore a kransen, a gilt circlet, as a symbol of their virginity. This kransen was removed (but kept for the bride’s future daughter) in preparation for the wedding along with all her clothing and anything that represented she was single as she prepared to enter her life together with her husband.

During the wedding ceremony, a bridal crown replaced the kransen. This Viking bridal crown was most often an heirloom and commonly crafted of silver. The novelist Sigrid Unset, awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1928, described a Viking wedding crown in her trilogy, Kristin Lavransdatter, as a headpiece crafted of silver with points culminating in crosses and clover leaves by turns. It was decorated with rock-crystal and festooned with red and green silk cords.

Bridal Wedding Crown and Tiara with Crystals

 

Wedding crowns today

Today, some brides still choose to wear a wedding crown in this tradition with something as simple as woven straw decorated with flowers, or for something more elaborate a full crown or bridal tiara can be purchased for a reasonable price through a bridal store. These crowns can be worn in tandem with a veil or by themselves.

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Photo Credits: Wikimedia, Wikimedia

Wedding gloves tradition – Is it right for you?

When you hear "wedding gloves tradition" what comes to mind? Most people today think it has to do with the bride wearing gloves, and while that is part of it, the original tradition made popular in the 18th and 19th centuries included gloves as a customary wedding favor for guests. In fact, wearing of wedding gloves was actually “required” by wedding etiquette until 1960.

Gauss Kevin Lace Gloves Wrist Length

While formal etiquette still recommends that brides wear gloves as a symbol of grace, today, some brides choose to wear gloves to make an elegant fashion statement or as an embellishment on their special day, while others decide to forego this fashion accessory all together. While most brides don’t really consider etiquette when deciding whether or not to wear gloves, it still helps those who want to wear gloves to decide on length and style to complement their dress. 

 

Wedding gloves etiquette

When it comes to glove length, wedding gloves etiquette doesn’t offer a set of hard and fast rules but rather provides common sense guidelines when pairing gloves and dress. Along with the style of dress, another factor that plays a role is whether the wedding is formal or informal. Martha Stewart offers detailed guidelines regarding what wedding gloves work best based on wedding dress style and level of formality.

Newdeve Fingerless Rhinestone Sequins White Bridal Lace Gloves

In general, wedding gloves length is dictated by sleeve length. For instance, wrist-length gloves are most appropriate for longer sleeves and classic elbow length gloves offer a stylish touch with a sleeveless dress. For instance, long gloves work well for brides wearing a ball gown style wedding dress, because they complement the dress in elegance and formality and draw attention to your arms. However, shorties (wrist length gloves) can also be worn for a subtler effect. Opera gloves are formal gloves that reaches beyond the elbow and can be paired with simple gowns as an embellishment for a bold fashion statement. Modern brides sometimes even choose black opera gloves instead of white.

 

Black Women's Fingerless Opera Lace Satin Gloves with Floral Pattern and Sequin

Wedding gloves and the ring

One more thing to consider when wearing gloves is the exchange of rings during the wedding ceremony. In the 80s, fingerless gloves were the rage, perhaps this is why. Most often, gloves are worn when walking the aisle of the church, and when the bride hands off her bouquet to her maid/matron of honor, the gloves can be slipped off and handed off too.

While wedding gloves offer a custom with a rich history, today modern brides can choose to wear them or not. For those who do want to adhere to tradition, along with glove length, matching the fabric of the wedding dress is another consideration. However, for today’s brides it’s more common to choose gloves that match your wedding day dreams, so if you want to wear lace gloves with your satin dress, go for it.

Some links in this post are affiliate links. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to amazon.com and affiliate sites.

Thank you for reading. 

Photo credits: pixabay, 

What is the meaning of the Greek wedding dance handkerchief?

While food plays a huge role in Greek weddings, music and dancing are also important. To put it into perspective it helps to know that there are more than 4000 traditional dances in the Greek culture, so yes, dancing is a big part of the celebration at Greek weddings. Probably the most infamous of these dances is the Money Dance. In the Greek wedding tradition this dance starts with the bride, the groom and a handkerchief, and it is during this dance that family and other guests give the bride and groom their wedding gifts in the form of money. That’s right, forget about toasters, crystal, or linen. Greeks give the gift that everyone needs – money.

Money Dance

How to dance the money dance

Like the popular Greek Syrtos dance, the Money Dance (Kalamatianós) is a line dance. Also known as the Bride’s Dance, this celebration starts with the bride and groom dancing with a handkerchief. The parents of the bride and groom prepare for this dance before the wedding by pinning together reams of the largest bill in their currency. (Some get fancy and create a crown made of money too.) During the Money Dance, the parents step forward first and drape the money stole they’ve crafted over the happy couple and then hold hands with them to form the start of a curving line of dancers, facing right.

Once the parents of the bride and groom have done their part, the rest of the wedding guests come forward and pin money on the couple. Some practice this a little differently by having guest throw money at the couple (no coins of course). This isn’t done in an orderly manner but can become pushy as everyone crowds around, but even the pushiness is part of the Greek wedding tradition. After pinning or throwing the money, guests join the dance line with the dancer at the right end of the line becoming the leader. This person can also perform a solo dance showing off moves like sapping his thighs while everyone else continues to do the basic step.

  

The Handkerchief Dance

In the Greek culture folk dances performed today at weddings are believed to have originated from ritual dances in ancient Greece. They actually make perfect dances for weddings because they are performed by groups arm-in-arm in a line or in an open circle moving counter clockwise. The leader of the group often improvises, while those following repeat the basic steps. 

The Handkerchief Dance (tsamiko pronounced SAH-mee-koh) is called the handkerchief dance because the leader and the second dancer in line hold onto a handkerchief. Traditionally, men danced this dance which was popular among freedom fighters in the war of independence. It gets its name from the handkerchief held by the leader and the second person in line and works as a means of support while the leader performs acrobatic leaps, legs making a scissor-like motion. While there are precise steps to this dance over time improvisation has led to many variations and today women join in the fun. 

What is the meaning of the Greek wedding dance handkerchief?

As I researched the Greek wedding dance, I tried to find out the significance of the handkerchief, but didn’t find anything specific. The best I can tell is that during the traditional Kalamatianós, because the lead dancer holds the second dancer by the handkerchief instead of the hand, it allows them the freedom to improvise with more elaborate steps. If you read this and can offer some insight, I’d love to hear from you.

Photo credits: Wikimedia