Historical roles of best man and bridesmaids

Most wedding traditions we practice today stem from unexpected origins. For instance, the wedding party of today is nothing like a couple hundred centuries ago when the original role of the "best man" wasn't to throw a bachelor party, hold on to the ring, give a speech or make the wedding toast. His duty was actually to serve as armed backup for the groom just in case he was forced to kidnap his intended bride from disapproving parents. Even the word "best" didn't necessarily mean best friend. It meant he was best with a sword in case it was needed.

Best man was chosen because he was "best" with a sword.

History of best man

Origins of the best man tradition are thought to be Germanic Goth stemming from a time when men were expected to take a bride from within the community. With an inadequate supply of local women, eligible bachelors were forced to seek out and capture a bride from a neighboring community. This practice is linked to the reason the bride stands to the left of the groom during the wedding ceremony to this day. You see, the groom had to keep his right hand free for defense.

Bride kidnapping

 Original duties of the best man

• The best man stood guard beside the groom until the wedding vows were exchanged.
• After the wedding, he stood outside the newlyweds' bed chamber door as a guard of sorts and stood watch in case anyone decided to attack.
• He was also in place in the event that the bride decided she wanted to run.

History of bridesmaids

As for bridesmaids, historically they wore dresses similar to that of the bride, so that as the group approached the church it would be difficult for any evil spirits or former beaus to spot the bride. Evil spirits were also the reason the bride wore a veil to hide from those spirits waiting to steal away her happiness. But having the bridesmaids dress similarly to the bride made it more difficult for possible kidnappers or those planning to throw rocks. 

Bridesmaids wore dresses similar to the bride.

The same held true for the men. They wore matching suits to save the groom from curses, rocks or kidnapping, too.

As for the Maid of Honor, she was responsible for making all the wedding decorations and putting them up herself.

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Wedding traditions most practiced today

Every bride and groom wants their wedding day to be special and memorable. And many want it to stand out from the rest by doing something different or unique. But it gets harder and harder to find the new and different because word spreads fast. For instance, I remember the first time I had carrot wedding cake. What a delicious difference. That might have been twenty years ago. Now it is common place to have wedding cakes comprised of different flavors for each layer, or even wedding cupcakes. So the traditional wedding cake is gradually becoming an obsolete tradition. 

Some wedding traditions have become so entrenched in culture that many times people look at them as rules to be followed. What you do with that will depend on whether you are one who abides by the rules or someone who believes rules are made to be broken. With that said, this post takes a look at the most-practiced wedding traditions today.

Father giving the bride away

According to a recent Harris Poll  most people still think the father of the bride should give the bride away. However, people aren't so sure about sticking him with the bill for the wedding anymore.

Night before the wedding spent apart

The UK's four-star Hallmark Hotels also polled people in the UK regarding wedding traditions and 54 percent of them believe couples should spend the night before the wedding apart. In the U.S. we are even more traditional with 74 percent of us following this tradition.

 

Something old, new, borrowed, and blue

This tradition of the bride wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue is a tradition that originates from an Old English rhyme but is still widely practiced today. 

Adding these items to what the bride wears is among wedding traditions thought to bring good luck, but each item has its own meaning. The old represents continuity, the new signifies optimism, the borrowed item stands for happiness, and the blue symbolizes love, purity, and fidelity.

Throwing the Bouquet

Throwing the bridal bouquet is another popular tradition which stems from a time when other women tried to rip pieces of the bride's dress and flowers to steal some of her good luck for themselves. Back then, the bride tossed her flowers into the air in order to make her get away while the guests were distracted. Today, the belief tied to this practice has morphed into whoever catches it will be the next to be married.

In my next blog we'll take a look at new practices that are quickly becoming traditions in their own rite.

 

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Related article: Wedding Traditions Origins: Newer Wedding Trends and Traditions

Photo credits: John Mayer, Timothy Marsee

Ideas for a medieval wedding theme

Whether you’re a fantasy fan or a Middle Ages history buff, a medieval wedding theme offers a fun way to bring a special-to-you unique touch to your wedding. Of course, you’ll have to put aside the fact that most marriages in the middle ages were arranged and just use traditions linked to customs that work for today. The good news is there are plenty of them.

Medieval wedding traditions still practiced today

Medieval wedding traditions still practiced today include wedding vows (much of the same wording is still utilized today), the bride still stands on the left and groom on the right (a tradition tied to the history of the best man), the ring exchange and the fact that the ring is still placed on the fourth finger of the left hand – all these are basically the same as during the Middle Ages. And then there is the large feast and a time for music and dancing following the wedding ceremony.

This foundation of rituals gives brides and grooms plenty to work with, and if you’re a creative couple, the following medieval wedding practices can provide the artistic fodder needed to make your day original and special. Think medieval wedding decorations, a venue such as a castle wedding, dressing in period clothing, and coming up with a medieval menu for your feast.

Peasant weddings were often held in a barn or outdoors.

Medieval marriage facts

The first question to ask yourself is: Do you want a peasant marriage from the middle ages or something more like the marriage of a noble or even a royal? Here's what you need to know:

• Peasant marriage in the middle ages: Peasant women had the most freedom when it came to marriage because those of the lower class were free to marry for love though many took place more because of need. You see, because they were poor, peasants were often needed to help with family work. As a result, they often married later and the ceremony was simple and they held their feast in a barn or outdoors.
• Medieval royal wedding traditions: While royal weddings in the Middle Ages were filled with pomp they were most often political in nature and never amounted to more than that for the bride and groom.
• Noble marriage in the middle ages: Nobel marriages were for the most part more of a contract than a celebration as we think of a wedding today. Husbands and wife were often promised at birth and didn’t even know each other. Weddings could take place once the girl reached puberty and it was common for nobility to hold a wedding ball.

Medieval wedding decorations

In Medieval times, tapestries decorated the walls. A raised table would be located at one end of the hall to seat the lord and his family plus any distinguished guests. On the main floor, two tables seated the rest of the guests who were seated on stools on only one side of the table so they could see the lord. 

 

The medieval wedding feast

The medieval wedding feast included family and friends. The menu offered things like fruit, soup or stew, roasts, tarts and other pastries including pies. The meal often ended with cracker-like wafers, cheese, and candied fruits. The couple drank wine and were entertained with love songs and poems performed by minstrels. (Picture a DJ dressed as a minstrel.) The medieval wedding cake was nothing like what we have today, so if you want to do something medieval, you’d serve an unsweetened loaf of bread. And you might even crumble it over the head of the bride and let guests gather up crumbs for good luck. Here are a few other historical facts that could make things memorable:

• Forks hadn’t been invented yet, so no forks and guests were required to bring their own spoon and knife and stoup to drink from. These drinking vessels were commonly crafted of wood or clay.
• 3-7 courses would be served but back then each course could include a mix of appetizers, main courses or desserts.
• Guests were numbered in groups (called a “mess”) of 2-6 people who would “share” the food set before them.
• Between courses as the tables were cleared, guests were provided with entertainment. Think jugglers, musicians, court jester.

Medieval Celebrations: How to Plan Holidays, Weddings, and Feasts with Recipes, Customs and Costumes

Medieval wedding game

For fun, instead of clinking glasses, in medieval times guests stacked buns as high as they could in front of the newlyweds. Back then, the belief was that this brought prosperity IF the bride and groom could kiss each other while standing on opposite sides of the stack.

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Ideas for something old, new, borrowed and blue

Today many brides follow the tradition of wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. Every wonder why? It's a wedding tradition that comes from an Old English rhyme which originated in England in the late 19th century:

Something olde,

Something new,

Something borrowed,

Something blue,

A sixpence in your shoe.

The four objects commonly added to the bride’s wedding attire or what she carries with her on the big day are historically just good luck charms. Don't stress too much about them. You can easily accomplish this by keeping the items small and hanging them from the bridal bouquet. For instance, you can include an old photograph borrowed from a family member, tied with a blue ribbon and you’ll have old, new, borrowed, and blue all in the bouquet. Or for a really easy option, you can purchase a trinket that can be pinned or clicked into place.

Light Blue Simulated Pearl, Double Heart, Blue Crystal, and Six Pence Bridal Pin

Why do brides wear something old, new, borrowed and blue?

While this practice belongs to wedding traditions thought to bring good luck, it is only fair to point out that each of the items in the popular rhyme has its own meaning or blessing (and only one has anything to do with luck). 

Old represents continuity

New signifies optimism

Borrowed item stands for happiness

Blue symbolizes love, purity, and fidelity

Sixpence in your shoe is a wish for good fortune and prosperity (largely a British custom)

Most of the time the Maid of Honor is the one responsible for making sure the bride is equipped with these items, but it can be fun to include members of the family too.

Ideas for something old, new, borrowed and blue

Including family or other loved ones in this wedding tradition adds an element of sentiment that will become part of your own wedding lore. For instance, go to your mom or sister for something borrowed. And for something old, have dad pull out an old photo of the two of you or a baby picture of you from his wallet just before you walk down the aisle. And ask a brother or uncle or close male family friend to come up with something blue. In this way, it’s more like a wedding scavenger hunt and a great way to create a special memory unique to your wedding story.

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