6 wedding customs that involve throwing things

Many wedding traditions we practice today are linked with superstitions from long ago. Some of these old customs have fallen out of favor, some have evolved, and some are quite a bit like they were when they were first established. I’ve written about wedding traditions for years now and have to say I'm surprised at how many customs involved throwing things at the bride and or groom. Before you read any further, ask yourself, can you name six wedding customs that involve throwing things? 

Throwing shoes started back in the Tudor period in England

1. Throwing bread at the bride

The throwing of bread was practiced in 16^thcentury, but before we get to that let’s take a look of how we got there with a peek back at the Middle Ages. At that time, brides carried or wore wheat ears as a symbol of fertility, and young girls customarily gathered outside the church to throw grains of wheat over the bride meant to shower the couple with good fortune, prosperity, and fertility. 

Later, bread was made from wheat flour and water and was thrown at the bride during the ceremony to encourage fertility. (In Russia today, wedding bread called karavay is still a center piece of weddings and is thought to represent fertility.) In 16th-century England, the bride’s bread evolved into small rectangular cakes made of eggs, milk, sugar, currants, and spices. Makes me think of something like banana bread with blueberries or something. Anyhow, each guest had at least one of these little cakes which were thrown at the bride as she crossed the threshold. The main theme that followed the various customs involving the throwing of bread are linked to fertility.

 

Today many couples throw biodegradable confetti.

2. Throwing rice (and other grains)

Throwing rice at newlyweds is an ancient custom but the throwing of wheat actually predates throwing rice. In rural parishes of England, when wheat was thrown over the bridal couple the people would say, "Bread for life, pudding forever." For my readers who don’t know about “pudding” in English terms, it is their word for dessert. Only prosperous people had the means to enjoy desserts, so it was a way of wishing the newlyweds might always be prosperous. 

The practice of throwing rice, or oats, or other grains (or peas for Czech newlyweds) all held the same symbolism. It represented showering the couple with good fortune, prosperity and fertility. Instead of thinking of it as “rice” or “oats” the people back then looked at it as life-giving seed and it was a way to wish newly married couples good luck. 

It was considered good luck to hit the departing carriage with your shoe.

 

 

 

3. Throwing shoes at the bride and broom

I only recently came upon this tradition when writing about the origins of wedding receptions. Throwing shoes at the newlywed couple started back in the Tudor period in England (1500s). As the bride and groom drove away in their carriage, wedding guests threw their shoes at them because they believed it was good luck if you hit the vehicle. Needless to say, as a wedding custom, throwing shoes is no longer practiced. The custom changed to tying old shoes to the back of the carriage, which then evolved here in the States to using aluminum cans.

4. Throwing the bouquet

The custom of the bride carrying a flower bouquet is an interesting one with ancient origins that can be traced back to ancient Rome. Back then brides carried or wore flower garlands because they believed flowers signified new beginnings, fidelity and hope of fertility. By the Middle Ages, instead of flowers, women carried aromatic bunches of garlic, herbs and spices to ward off evil spirits, bad luck, and sickness. Today, the bouquet represents happiness and satisfaction in marriage. So how did throwing the bouquet come about?

Tossing the bridal bouquet to guests started back in medieval times. At that time, it was considered good luck for guests to get a piece of the wedding dress, so guests were eager to go after the bride trying to rip off bits of her dress. Brides started tossing the bouquet as a distraction so they could get away with the dress in one piece. Over time, catching the bouquet became a talisman for good luck to the one who caught it. 

5. Tossing the garter

The custom of throwing the garter started in England and France and came about for the same reason as throwing of the bouquet. In an effort to distract guests who hoped to tear off a piece of the bride’s dress, the groom tossed a garter.

6. Throwing money at the bride and groom

In Greece, throwing money around the bride and groom is one aspect of a dance called the "kalamatiano" or here in the States, the money dance. In Nigeria, this tradition is called the "money spray" In Poland, the money is pinned on the bride during the reception as she dances. The idea behind this tradition is to help the couple out financially as they start their life together. In general, money is either thrown, pinned or handed to the couple while dancing.

Vintage wedding ideas for the modern bride

• While no one wants a loaf of bread tossed at them, wedding bread is rich with symbolism. For a vintage touch, have a special loaf of bride’s bread made for the couple. Just for fun, you might want to include this old custom: Someone holds the loaf and the bride and groom take a bite. Whoever takes the biggest bite will be the head of the household.
• In the Ukraine, after the bride and groom eat the wedding bread, people throw candies and money at them. This tradition represents wishes for financial blessings and abundance.

Photo credits:picryl, pixabay, needpix, Wikimedia, flickr, wikimedia

A look back at wedding reception origins

Sometimes terminology surrounding weddings can leave me scratching my head. That’s one of the reasons I write this blog. I like to hunt down wedding origins and traditions and their meanings. I like to know why we do what we do. For instance, why is a wedding toast called a toast? I’ve already answered that one in the History of the Wedding Toast. And why do we give away the bride? And why is the party following the wedding called a reception? 

My home wedding reception at my parents' home.

Why is a wedding reception called a reception?

That one, is actually a little easier to understand when you realize the word “reception” has more than one definition. If you think of it as “the act or process of receiving something sent, given, or inflicted then it doesn’t seem to fit,” BUT the second meaning is very fitting. “a formal social occasion held to welcome someone or to celebrate a particular event.” However, it turns out that both definitions fit when you look at the receiving line tradition at the reception where guests were greeted by the bride and groom, hosts and parents as they greeted every guest.

Origins of the wedding reception

I recently celebrated my 50^th wedding anniversary, and back when I got married, my middle-class parents hosted the wedding reception in their home. They moved all the furniture out of the living room and dining room and set up rented tables and chairs. We fried chicken, rolled luncheon meat platters, and some of my aunts brought dishes to share. It turns out that in our Western culture, that was the typical wedding reception celebration up until World War II. At that time wedding receptions were usually held in the bride’s home. The family’s financial status determined the style of the reception. A wealthy family might hold an elaborate ball, while a middle-class family might put on an afternoon luncheon and tea like my parents did.

But that goes back only to World War II. What about before that?

 19^th century wedding receptions

In the 19^th century, weddings typically took place early and the wedding reception was most often a breakfast held in the bride’s home. The bride and groom “received” the wedding guests who offered words of congratulation. Etiquette dictated that guests addressed the bride first unless they didn’t know her. In that case, the groom introduced the guests to his new bride after receiving their congratulations. And get this. Congratulations were NEVER offered to the bride because it implied, she was “lucky” to have a man propose to her! How uncouth!

For these breakfast receptions, most often only the bridal party were seated, mostly because homes didn’t have the room to seat everyone. In fact, only a fraction of the guests who attended the wedding were invited to the reception because the average house just couldn’t fit everybody. There was no music or entertainment, but cake was served (but not eaten at the reception). Back then wedding cake was usually a dark, rich fruitcake with white frosting and was cut and boxed and given to guests as they left the reception.

When the bride and groom left the reception breakfast, they were pelted with rice and shoes. Why shoes? Apparently, this was thought to bring good luck and fertility to the bride and groom, if they or their carriage was hit.

18^th Century Wedding Receptions

I didn’t find much information on 18^th century wedding receptions, but I did find info on history.org regarding Courtship and Marriage in Eighteenth Century Colonial Williamsburg which included a blurb about the wedding reception. It was called a wedding party, and held at the bride’s parents’ home. “…male guests would often race each other to the house where the winner received a bottle of alcohol.” And they did have decorations and “a table with white paper chains and lay out white foods for a collation. It included two white cakes. The guests consumed the groom’s cake, and sometimes left the bride’s cake untouched for the couple to save (in a tin of alcohol) to eat on each wedding anniversary. The party could last a few hours or several days.”

Vintage wedding ideas for the modern bride

• Plan your wedding reception at your parents’ home. If that isn’t possible, check with grandparents, and aunt and uncle, or even the parents of the groom. If none of these options are possible, you can always rent a vacation home to accommodate your wedding reception.
• If parents have a small home, plan a backyard wedding reception.
• Add the fun element of male guests racing each other to the house and award the winner with a bottle of alcohol or wine bearing your wedding label. 
• Consider an early wedding followed by a breakfast reception.

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Photo credits: Personal photo used with permission, wikimedia, peakpx, Wikimedia, pexels