Is an heirloom ring right for you?

I’ve started collecting legacy stories from readers related to weddings, marriage and love, and it brought to mind heirloom rings. As I sit here writing this post, my mother’s wedding ring is on my finger. I always thought I’d pass it on to another, like when mom’s first great-grandchild was married, but so far, I haven’t found the person who wants it. If you have an heirloom ring available, you are fortunate, but if you come from a large family you may find yourself in competition for who gets the ring. Before I talk about whether or not an heirloom ring is right for you, let’s take a look at what it is along with the pros and cons of going with an heirloom engagement or wedding ring.

What is an heirloom ring?

An heirloom ring is an engagement or wedding ring passed on to another member of the family getting married or a ring with an interesting backstory that you bring into your family. Knowing the backstory, how the ring came into your family can make the wedding proposal even more special for people with close family ties or an interest in their families’ genealogies. 

The story of the ring is a way to keep family history alive for another generation. And when you wear an heirloom ring, your story is added to it. For instance, I only have mom’s wedding ring because her engagement ring was smashed when she was trying to move a refrigerator to clean under it. The ring saved her finger. They brought it to a jeweler who happened to lose it diamond and all (which I never believed) and she never got it back. When my father passed away, Mom gave the ring to me. It goes with my white gold set which I picked because I liked what Mom wore—white gold.

Benefits and drawbacks of an heirloom ring

One of the benefits of choosing an heirloom engagement ring or wedding ring is that they are unique. If you are a person who likes that one-of-a-kind sense of style, an heirloom ring offers that. Some vintage styles, like the halo engagement ring, are back in style, but not everyone likes the vintage look. If you’re partner isn’t keen on an heirloom ring because of its style, that can be an issue, but it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. If the family doesn’t mind, the ring can be broken up and made into a new ring or rings with the vintage elements included. However, don’t assume you can reset or modify the ring without talking with the family about it.

Another drawback occurs if more than one person wants the ring. Again, as I just mentioned, the ring can be broken up and made into a new ring or rings to satisfy everyone. The trick is to figure out who gets what part of the ring(s) for resetting purposes. BUT before you decide to do this, know that often the original setting has value that may be lost when/if you redesign. Instead of redesigning, you might want to set up a consultation with a jeweler to get ideas for modernizing the ring without redesigning the setting. Just saying, once you change it, you can’t go back.

What to do with an heirloom ring

Before I finish up here, let me say that if you are the one giving up the heirloom ring, you must realize that it no longer belongs to you. Let it go once it is on another’s finger. With that said, if you are the one who has received an heirloom ring you have several choices:

• Wear it. This is a great way honor the original owner of the ring.
• Put it away for a time
• Redesign it
• Share it with others by breaking it up

If the ring has no sentimental value to anyone in the family feel free to:

• Trade it for something else
• Sell it

If you inherited the ring you have the freedom to do what you want with it, but I suggest if other family members care about the ring that you take their feelings into consideration if you’re thinking of modifying it. If you do want to sell it, offer it to family members first.

In closing, let me talk to people who wish they had an heirloom ring and don’t. You can buy one you like. Learn it’s backstory and bring it into your family. It’s a great way to get the ring you want with a backstory all its own that can be added to your family history.

Photo credits:pxfuel, piqsels, pxfuel, pxfuel

Do you have a legacy story related to marriage/weddings/love?

Today's post is a short note to my readers to get their opinions. I'm thinking of adding a selection of true legacy stories related to marriage/weddings/love to complement the accounts of wedding traditions and their meanings? What do you think? If you might have a story to share from your own family click on the link below to take this short survey, of make a comment below.

Legacy story survey

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6 wedding customs that involve throwing things

Many wedding traditions we practice today are linked with superstitions from long ago. Some of these old customs have fallen out of favor, some have evolved, and some are quite a bit like they were when they were first established. I’ve written about wedding traditions for years now and have to say I'm surprised at how many customs involved throwing things at the bride and or groom. Before you read any further, ask yourself, can you name six wedding customs that involve throwing things? 

Throwing shoes started back in the Tudor period in England

1. Throwing bread at the bride

The throwing of bread was practiced in 16^thcentury, but before we get to that let’s take a look of how we got there with a peek back at the Middle Ages. At that time, brides carried or wore wheat ears as a symbol of fertility, and young girls customarily gathered outside the church to throw grains of wheat over the bride meant to shower the couple with good fortune, prosperity, and fertility. 

Later, bread was made from wheat flour and water and was thrown at the bride during the ceremony to encourage fertility. (In Russia today, wedding bread called karavay is still a center piece of weddings and is thought to represent fertility.) In 16th-century England, the bride’s bread evolved into small rectangular cakes made of eggs, milk, sugar, currants, and spices. Makes me think of something like banana bread with blueberries or something. Anyhow, each guest had at least one of these little cakes which were thrown at the bride as she crossed the threshold. The main theme that followed the various customs involving the throwing of bread are linked to fertility.

 

Today many couples throw biodegradable confetti.

2. Throwing rice (and other grains)

Throwing rice at newlyweds is an ancient custom but the throwing of wheat actually predates throwing rice. In rural parishes of England, when wheat was thrown over the bridal couple the people would say, "Bread for life, pudding forever." For my readers who don’t know about “pudding” in English terms, it is their word for dessert. Only prosperous people had the means to enjoy desserts, so it was a way of wishing the newlyweds might always be prosperous. 

The practice of throwing rice, or oats, or other grains (or peas for Czech newlyweds) all held the same symbolism. It represented showering the couple with good fortune, prosperity and fertility. Instead of thinking of it as “rice” or “oats” the people back then looked at it as life-giving seed and it was a way to wish newly married couples good luck. 

It was considered good luck to hit the departing carriage with your shoe.

 

 

 

3. Throwing shoes at the bride and broom

I only recently came upon this tradition when writing about the origins of wedding receptions. Throwing shoes at the newlywed couple started back in the Tudor period in England (1500s). As the bride and groom drove away in their carriage, wedding guests threw their shoes at them because they believed it was good luck if you hit the vehicle. Needless to say, as a wedding custom, throwing shoes is no longer practiced. The custom changed to tying old shoes to the back of the carriage, which then evolved here in the States to using aluminum cans.

4. Throwing the bouquet

The custom of the bride carrying a flower bouquet is an interesting one with ancient origins that can be traced back to ancient Rome. Back then brides carried or wore flower garlands because they believed flowers signified new beginnings, fidelity and hope of fertility. By the Middle Ages, instead of flowers, women carried aromatic bunches of garlic, herbs and spices to ward off evil spirits, bad luck, and sickness. Today, the bouquet represents happiness and satisfaction in marriage. So how did throwing the bouquet come about?

Tossing the bridal bouquet to guests started back in medieval times. At that time, it was considered good luck for guests to get a piece of the wedding dress, so guests were eager to go after the bride trying to rip off bits of her dress. Brides started tossing the bouquet as a distraction so they could get away with the dress in one piece. Over time, catching the bouquet became a talisman for good luck to the one who caught it. 

5. Tossing the garter

The custom of throwing the garter started in England and France and came about for the same reason as throwing of the bouquet. In an effort to distract guests who hoped to tear off a piece of the bride’s dress, the groom tossed a garter.

6. Throwing money at the bride and groom

In Greece, throwing money around the bride and groom is one aspect of a dance called the "kalamatiano" or here in the States, the money dance. In Nigeria, this tradition is called the "money spray" In Poland, the money is pinned on the bride during the reception as she dances. The idea behind this tradition is to help the couple out financially as they start their life together. In general, money is either thrown, pinned or handed to the couple while dancing.

Vintage wedding ideas for the modern bride

• While no one wants a loaf of bread tossed at them, wedding bread is rich with symbolism. For a vintage touch, have a special loaf of bride’s bread made for the couple. Just for fun, you might want to include this old custom: Someone holds the loaf and the bride and groom take a bite. Whoever takes the biggest bite will be the head of the household.
• In the Ukraine, after the bride and groom eat the wedding bread, people throw candies and money at them. This tradition represents wishes for financial blessings and abundance.

Photo credits:picryl, pixabay, needpix, Wikimedia, flickr, wikimedia