Best gemstones for engagement rings

Diamonds are precious gemstones. I’ve known this since I was a child because it is my birthstone. I used to joke that I would get my birthstone ring when I got engaged. And that became my reality. I’d never really thought of another stone for an engagement ring because engagement rings were diamond rings. Or so I thought.

 

 

Popularity of the diamond engagement ring

Back in the early 1900s the British owned DeBeers Group opened diamond mines in Africa and diamonds became more accessible. But in the 1930s, the United States fell into economic hard times and the demand for diamond rings dropped. To boost sales, De Beers initiated a marketing campaign that used pictures of glamorous movie stars draped in diamonds. Within three years, diamond sales increased by 50 percent. 

It turns out that the popularity of diamond engagement rings can be traced back to De Beers when they launched the slogan, “A Diamond is Forever.” That was 1947. The diamond's durability (10 on the MOHS hardness scale) carried a message that marriage is forever, and its purity and sparkle became representations of the depth of commitment shared by engaged couples. The meaning associated with the diamond is that of purity, love and fidelity. 

Durability of gemstones

But what kind of engagement rings did we wear before diamond rings? Engagement rings can be traced back to Ancient Rome. The first rings were crafted from flint and bone, and then from copper, silver, and gold in the 2nd century CE. 

As for gemstones they've have been collected by rich and powerful people throughout time as a display of wealth. People in the Middle Ages commonly believed that gemstones held medicinal power that could heal and gemstone rings were used as an antidote for sickness, poisoning, or to ward off evil. Some of these old superstitions are still associated with the modern meanings connected to these rings.

Engagement rings get a lot of wear, and the durability factor of diamonds is one of the reasons they are a popular choice for rings. They are the hardest stone in the world on the MOHS Hardness scale. The most popular gemstone choices other than diamonds include sapphire, ruby, and emerald. Of these, Sapphire and Ruby are the hardest. Emeralds are only rated 7.5 to 8 and will require more care because they can chip or break easier. Other common gemstones for engagement rings include: Aquamarine, amethyst, morganite, opal, and tanzanite. However, many of these stones don’t wear well for people who plan to wear their rings every day.

If you are thinking of selecting a stone other than a diamond, I recommend you choose from gemstones with a rating of 8 or higher for daily wear.

 

Gemstones with MOHS scale number of 8 or higher

Ruby (9): Ruby is among the hardest of the precious stones which makes it a beautiful and wise choice for an engagement ring. These fiery colored gems make a stunning choice when set with diamonds. Most modern rubies are treated to increase their color, transparency, or to mend fractures. With this in mind, I want to point out that vintage ruby  jewelry is less likely to be treated, and may have visible imperfections. 

Ruby meaning: Rubies are thought to have a bold, fiery energy and are attributed with several spiritual properties including healing (mind and body), love, energy, passion, positive visions, vivacity and balance.

1 Carat Natural Diamond And Red Ruby Round Cut Bridal Engagement Ring

 

Sapphire (9): Of the sapphire’s alluring beauty and rich colors, the deep, vivid blue is the most desired traditionally, but sapphires are available in a range of colors, including: fuchsia, green, orange, violet, yellow, and an exceptional padparadscha hue (ancient Sanskrit word used to describe the color of a tropical lotus flower) which is a stunning blend of pink, tangerine and salmon shades. 

Sapphire meaning: heavenly favor, innocence and truth, strength, good health and vitality, and protection against negative energy and spiritual discord.

 

Diamond Sapphire White Gold Ring

Topaz (8 to 10): The most common color of Topaz is blue, but it is also available in colorless, pink, yellow, and peach hues. 

Topaz meaning: Nobility, love, passion, and purpose and because of its fiery energy, this gemstone is also associated with self-esteem and good fortune.

Spinel (8 to 10): Spinel owes its gorgeous color to chromium, much like rubies and emeralds do, and is available in a wide variety of colors: black, blue, brown, green, lavender, red, violet. Red is the rarest color and so more expensive. Blue is the second rarest. 

Spinel meaning: A stone of hope, revitalization, and joy of being alive.

Alexandrite (8.5): Alexandrite has excellent durability and doesn’t have the tendency to break when struck. When it comes to color, this stone is unique. Its ability to absorb different wavelengths of light in varied ways depending on the direction of incidence of the rays or their plane of polarization, often result in the appearance of different colors depending on the direction of view. For this reason, alexandrite is defined as a color change variety of gemstone that switches from one color appearance to another, depending on the particular type of lighting. Typically, alexandrite displays a blue-green hue in daylight, while it appears red in incandescent light. The rarest specimens of color-change alexandrite have either yellow green or plain green color.

Alexandrite meaning: Alexandrite is thought to bring luck, prosperity, intellect, and balance between the physical and the spiritual. As an engagement ring it can bring you into the balance of who you are.

14k White Gold Genuine Emerald Swirled Engagement Ring

 

Emerald (7.5 to 8): Emerald isn’t as tough as ruby, sapphire or topaz but it has fair to good durability. However, emeralds are brittle due to their inclusions and may chip or even break if knocked around. This means it requires more care in wearing than the harder gemstones, but with proper care an emerald will last for generations. 

Emerald meaning: The emerald symbolizes truth and love. In ancient Rome it was considered the gemstone of the goddess of love, Venus.

Aquamarine (7.5 to 8): Aquamarines are hard, but also brittle. They are a shade between green and blue which often display conchoidal fractures when broken or chipped. 

Aquamarine meaning: Aquamarine represents trusting and letting go. In ancient times, this gemstone was thought to be the treasure of mermaids and sailors used it as a talisman to bring good luck on the open waters.

Benefits of gemstone engagement rings

Gemstone engagement rings open the opportunity to let your personality and uniqueness shine along with your ring. Plus, it will cost you less than a diamond engagement ring. However, understand the risks associated with the gemstone of your choice so you know how to care for it.

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Photo credits: Image by starbright from Pixabay

Unique wedding kissing traditions and beliefs

Today, the wedding kiss is a traditional custom practiced in the West. Did you ever wonder where it started? I've heard a couple of different stories on this. One is that it goes back to the wedding taking place in the Catholic church. The priest would give the groom a holy "kiss of peace" and tell the groom to pass it on to the bride. This is where we get the commonly used phrase, "You may now kiss the bride." Others trace the custom back to ancient Rome, where the exchange of a kiss signified the completion of a contract. At that time and place, marriage was a negotiated deal. This is said to be where we get the phrase “sealed with a kiss.” Either way, it is a common tradition today, and I thought we’d look at some other unique wedding kissing traditions and beliefs that may surprise you.

The exchange of souls

While the symbolic wedding kiss may take on several different meanings for the people who practice it, this is one I hadn’t heard. Some Christians (not all) believe the wedding kiss symbolizes the exchange of souls between the bride and groom. This belief is based on the Scripture that says “the two shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:8, Ephesians 5:31).

 

Swedish tradition “You may all kiss the bride”

The Swedish wedding kissing tradition involves all the guests and the bride and groom. If the groom leaves the room for any reason, say for instance to visit the men’s room, all the men attending the wedding can kiss the bride. The same is true if the bride leaves the room. All the women can step up and kiss the groom. An update on this tradition includes a bell. If the groom rings the bell, it’s an invitation for all the men to come up and kiss the bride. And if the bride rings the bell the invitation is extended to the women to come and kiss the groom. It can cause quite a ruckus when half of the wedding guests stand up and head toward the bride and groom.

Clinking glasses

The last wedding tradition I'll mention in this post deals with one of the most traditional ways guests get the bride and groom to kiss during the reception. The clinking on glasses. When this happened at my wedding, I had no idea that it is actually an ancient tradition. Back then, people thought the practice scared the devil away so the bride and groom were able to kiss while he was absent.

If you know of another wedding kissing custom please let us know in the comments. Thanks for reading.

Photo credits: pixabay, pxfuel

6 Halloween traditions that tell you who to marry

Today, Halloween is celebrated around the world. For most of us, the word conjures up dressing up in costume, scary decorations, handing out candy to children who come to the door and plenty of costume parties. But did you know it is a day of fruits and vegetables to help you learn about who you are going to marry?

Ancient origins of Halloween

Before we get to those traditions, let's take a quick look at Halloween’s origins. They can be traced back about 2,000 years to a Gaelic festival called Samhain, held at the end of the harvest season. At that time, the Celts celebrated the start of the new year on November 1. The celebration of the Festival of Samhain was a two-day event which started on October 31. 

People at that time believed that on the eve of the new year, dead spirits could come back to life and so the people wore masks and other disguises to blend in with the evil spirits. Why? They thought that if these spirits happened to pay a visit, the disguises would trick them into thinking they were one of them. 

By 43 A.D. the Romans picked up the tradition and made it their own. They had a custom of celebrating the passing of the dead in October on a day they called Feralia, and so they combined that with the celebration of Samhain. By the 9^th century, the Catholic church picked up on the celebration to include all saints and martyrs, and November 2 was labeled “All Soul’s Day.” This was most likely an attempt to replace the Celtic festival with a church-approved day.

 

6 Halloween traditions that tell you who you will marry

Ring in the mashed potatoes: One long-forgotten Halloween tradition deals with figuring out who you were going to marry. Imagine an 18th-century Irish cook burying a ring in her mashed potatoes on Halloween night in hopes it would bring true love to the guest who found it. (Every time I hear ideas like this, I can’t help but thinking of the unlucky person choking to death instead of finding true love).

In early 20^th century Scotland, hosts mashed up a big tub of potatoes and hit the ring, button or coin, and a thimble. Guests gathered around the tub with spoon in hand and lights off. Each dipped their spoon into the spuds in hopes of getting the ring. If a boy found the button or coin with his spoon, he was destined to be a bachelor all his life. If a girl found the thimble, she would be a spinster, but the person who found the ring was fated for marriage and happiness.

 

Naming hazelnuts: The Scottish tradition of naming hazelnuts was safer health-wise. Fortune-tellers suggested that eligible young women name hazelnuts for each of their suitors. Once named, they tossed them into the fire blazing in the hearth, one at a time. If a nut burned to ash instead of exploding, the name of that nut signified the girl’s future husband. With that said, I’ve also heard that the opposite interpretation was true saying that the nut that burned predicted that the love wouldn’t last.

Eating dessert before bed: Another Halloween wedding superstition includes the consumption of a sugary treat made with walnuts, hazelnuts and nutmeg. It had be eaten before bed on October 31. Women who followed this practice were said to dream about their future husbands.

Apple peels: Another food-related Halloween superstition includes apple peels. Young women threw the peels over their shoulders and turned to see how they landed on the floor and then interpreted them as the initials of their future husbands. The catch is, you had to keep the peel from a whole apple in one piece!

 

Egg yolks in water: This Halloween marriage-predicting superstition started with egg yolks floating in a bowl of water. Divination using eggs, known as Oomancy, took on various forms. Candles are another common tool for divination. This particular practice uses both. A woman stood in a dark room holding a candle in front of a mirror to try to learn about her future. She peered at the egg yolks floating in the bowl of water and then looked over her shoulder to see her future husband’s face. I wonder how many times had to try to see something. And what if they saw a face they didn’t like?

 

Bobbing for apples: This last superstition is one we are familiar with, bobbing for apples. Fun, right? Author Joan Morgan, co-author of The New Book of Apples says, "apples, apple peels and even pips have long been used to peer into the romantic future." Bobbing for apples is one of these ways and became a popular game. Girls marked their apples in a way no one else would know and added them into a barrel of water. Then, potential beaus tried to grab the floating apples with their teeth. The first one to successfully get an apple was thought to be the first one that would walk down the aisle.

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Some links in this post are affiliate links. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to amazon.com and affiliate sites.

Photo credits: pixabay, pinterest, flickr, flickr, pixabay

History of Hera, the ironic goddess of marriage in Greek mythology

As we look at wedding traditions, I thought it would be fun to look at mythology for a change, and what better place to start than the iconic, Hera, goddess of marriage in Greek mythology. She is one of the twelve Olympians and within that mythos, she is the sister and wife of the god of the sky, Zeus. In art, she is often depicted with the animals she considered sacred, and is regularly portrayed wearing a high cylindrical crown and seated on a throne.

Hera, goddess of marriage

Within Greek mythology, Hera is the daughter of the Titans Cronus and Rhea, and she rules over Mount Olympus as queen of the gods. What exactly does the queen of the gods do? That role is multifaceted. It not only includes being the goddess of marriage, but also includes goddess of women, family, and childbirth. In these roles, she is considered the patroness and protectress of married women. It was believed that she presided over ancient Greek weddings and blessed marital unions.

 

How Hera and Zeus met

How Hera and Zeus met is a popular story within Greek mythology, but I want to offer the short version to shine a light on the irony of Hera’s role as goddess of marriage. If you know anything of the story of Zeus, you know his history as a lustful god who seemed infatuated with just about every good-looking woman he saw. In Hera’s case, he spotted her as she walked in the region of Hesperides, but decided not to approach her directly. Instead he changed into a wounded cuckoo bird near death. 

Hera took the bird home to restore it to health. Once in her home, she held the bird to her breast to warm it, and Zeus revealed his true identity and took advantage of her. I’m just saying, that if you fall in love with someone who pretends to be one thing and proves to be something else in a negative way, and he takes advantage of you, it is not a good idea to continue in that relationship. But, Zeus was the chief deity of the pantheon. I guess one might be enamored by titles like the god of the sky, protector of cities, home, strangers, guests, etc. After all, when you stand back and look at it, all his roles complemented Hera’s.

 

Hera’s wedding

Hera and Zeus enjoyed a lavish wedding with the ceremony performed in the Garden of Hesperides, the same place Zeus first saw Hera. Sacrifices were made in the couples’ honor, and the other gods sang hymns of praise for the newlyweds. Each god brough a gift. One of the most notable were the gifts given by Gaea, the goddess of the Earth. She gave the couple a quince (the Greek symbol of love), and she created a tree bearing golden apples for Hera which were protected by a great serpent called Ladon.

Hera’s honeymoon

Hera and Zeus’ honeymoon lasted for a three hundred years. The mythos says their honeymoon destination was the Greek island of Samos. Greeks often used this myth to talk about the Earth’s fertility, or the lasting power of marital love. But most people who know anything about the myth of Zeus and Hara know that he did not honor monogamous marriage.

Hera the vengeful wife

While the marriage saw some happy times, Hera didn’t forget how Zeus had taken advantage of her and she watched for a time when she could get even. She saw her opportunity when Zeus mistreated his fellow Olympians. When she saw they were fed up with her husband, she talked them into revolting, but the revolt failed. As punishment, Zeus tied Hera’s wrists with golden shackles with anvils shackled to her feet and then hung her from the heavens. She cried out in pain all night but none of the other gods dared to lift a finger to help her because they feared Zeus. The following day, Zeus showed her mercy and offered to let her go on one condition. She had to swear never to plot or rebel against him again. She kept that promise, but turned her wrath towards Zeus' mistresses and their illegitimate children.

Hera a jealous wife

Zeus’ numerous affairs and resulting illegitimate children led to a collection of stories which define her as a vengeful, jealous wife. Probably one of the most popular of these stories surrounds the birth of Zeus’ illegitimate son, Heracules. (Did you notice the first part of his name is Hera? This is the Greek spelling. The Romans spelled it Hercules.)

When Heracules’ mortal mother, Alcmene, went into labor, Zeus announced that the next child born in his lineage would become a great king. Hera stepped into her role as the goddess of childbirth and prolonged Alcmene’s labor to delay Heracules’ birth, and with the help of her daughter, Eileithyia, she caused a more distant descendant to prematurely give birth to a son, and he became the ruler of Mycenae. 

After Hercules was born, Hera sent two snakes to kill him in his crib, but even as an infant, Hercules had unusual strength and he strangled the snakes. Her shenanigans didn’t end there. As a young adult she cast a spell on Heracules that led him to kill his wife and children.

With this story, I ask, why was Hera considered the god of marriage or the god of childbirth?

 

Image credits: Steven Zucker, Mary Harrsch, pxfuel, picryl