Friday, October 30, 2020

3 little know facts about ancient Roman weddings

I often mention Ancient Rome in relation to the origins of wedding traditions still practiced today in Western cultures. This post takes a look at three practices embedded within those traditions that we no longer include in our own rituals.

Engagement ring and what it symbolized

Today's tradition of wearing an engagement ring on the fourth finger of the left hand, can be traced back to the Ancient Romans. This finger was believed to have a vein that ran directly to the heart, the Vena Amoris, which means 'vein of love'. Belief in that vein of love brought with it the hope that wearing the ring would encourage love, but legally this piece of wedding jewelry represented that the woman was about to pass from the ownership of her father to her future husband. Therefore, only women wore engagement rings in ancient Rome.

Ancient Roman wedding belt and the knot of Hercules

Ancient Roman brides wore a special dress and a veil and even wove flowers in the hair. What made their wedding attire unique is the girdle or belt that they wore. This belt was an essential part of bridal etiquette. By tradition, it was tied by the bride's mother with the knot of Hercules on the morning of her wedding. It represented the bride's purity, and with Hercules being the guardian of married life this strong knot could only be untied by the bride’s new husband on the wedding night. This knot created by two intertwined ropes can be traced back to ancient Egypt where it was used as a healing amulet, but in ancient Greece and ancient Rome where Hercules was known for his strength, it was a strong knot incorporated into a protective girdle worn by brides. Roman lore suggests the knot symbolized the legendary fertility of Hercules and in some way is related to the legendary Girdle of Diana captured from the Amazon Queen Hippolyta.

Marriage a negotiated deal

In ancient Rome, the male head of the household (the Paterfamilias) was responsible for finding a good match for all the children in his family. Marriage had to be outside the family. They weren’t allowed to even marry third or fourth cousins. While this sounds like an arranged marriage, one difference is that both the bride and groom had to be consenting adults and they could only be married to one person at a time (there were no divorces). However, what ‘consenting adults’ means today is far different from what it meant back then. The minimum age for females to marry was 12 and boys had to be at least 14. Once a suitable person was found, both families entered negotiations to decide which family would provide for the couple. Once the agreement was made the woman brought a dowry to her new husband’s family.

Marriage was looked at as a contract and some suggest that the giving of engagement rings in ancient Rome may have been used to signal that a contract had been made between the couple and their families. So while many practice some parts of these traditions it is easy to see why other parts have been left along the path of history.

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Sunday, December 6, 2015

History of the marriage contracts

While stories of star-struck lovers getting married make for good tales, historically marriage had little to do with love. In ancient times, marriage was more like a business deal. According to Stephanie Coontz, the author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, "It was a way of getting in-laws, of making alliances and expanding the family labor force."

First recorded marriage contracts

Marriage is an ancient institution with the first recorded evidence of marriage contracts and ceremonies dating back 4,000 years in Mesopotamia. It was an institution that primarily regulated property rights and political privileges and contracts reflected that. In that ancient world marriage primarily served to preserve power.

Kings and others of the ruling class married off daughters to build alliances, acquire land, and produce legitimate heirs. These deals were basically business mergers, the forging of military coalitions, or the finalizing of peace treaties. It was seen as a way to build strategic alliances between families. Those getting married often had no say in the matter even in marriages between the lower class. In those cases, the purpose of marriage was to choose a marriage partner with a good work ethic, strength, skills and robust health – and to produce heirs. If they had adjoining plots of land that was a real bonus.

What is traditional marriage? This book may open your eyes.

Marriage played role banks and markets fill today

For most of history love played no part in marriage because it was considered too serious a matter to be based on such a frail emotion. In ancient Mesopotamia arranged marriages were the standard. Often the bride and groom had never even met. In some cases, bridal auctions were held and women were sold to the highest bidder. Economically, marriage filled the role that banks and markets do today. It organized and transferred property and gave individuals access to new workers for the family business.

This is also where the dowry came into play. Until the late eighteenth century, the marriage dowry was the largest amount of cash or movable goods a man would acquire in his lifetime. As a result, men were often more interested in the dowry than the bride.

The "widow's third" was a part of the marriage contract that guaranteed European women that upon their husband's death she would be provided for.

Babylonian Bridal Auction

I'm not saying love was never part of marriage in ancient times, it just wasn't the norm and was definitely not necessary. Until the late 18^th century, parents had the right to arrange their children's marriages and could dissolve a marriage if it happened without their permission.