3 little know facts about ancient Roman weddings

 

I often mention Ancient Rome in relation to the origins of wedding traditions still practiced today in Western cultures. This post takes a look at three practices embedded within those traditions that we no longer include in our own rituals. 

Engagement ring and what it symbolized

Today's tradition of wearing an engagement ring on the fourth finger of the left hand, can be traced back to the Ancient Romans. This finger was believed to have a vein that ran directly to the heart, the Vena Amoris, which means 'vein of love'. Belief in that vein of love brought with it the hope that wearing the ring would encourage love, but legally this piece of wedding jewelry represented that the woman was about to pass from the ownership of her father to her future husband. Therefore, only women wore engagement rings in ancient Rome.

 

Ancient Roman wedding belt and the knot of Hercules

Ancient Roman brides wore a special dress and a veil and even wove flowers in the hair. What made their wedding attire unique is the girdle or belt that they wore. This belt was an essential part of bridal etiquette. By tradition, it was tied by the bride's mother with the knot of Hercules on the morning of her wedding. It represented the bride's purity, and with Hercules being the guardian of married life this strong knot could only be untied by the bride’s new husband on the wedding night. This knot created by two intertwined ropes can be traced back to ancient Egypt where it was used as a healing amulet, but in ancient Greece and ancient Rome where Hercules was known for his strength, it was a strong knot incorporated into a protective girdle worn by brides. Roman lore suggests the knot symbolized the legendary fertility of Hercules and in some way is related to the legendary Girdle of Diana captured from the Amazon Queen Hippolyta.

 

Marriage a negotiated deal

In ancient Rome, the male head of the household (the Paterfamilias) was responsible for finding a good match for all the children in his family. Marriage had to be outside the family. They weren’t allowed to even marry third or fourth cousins. While this sounds like an arranged marriage, one difference is that both the bride and groom had to be consenting adults and they could only be married to one person at a time (there were no divorces). However, what ‘consenting adults’ means today is far different from what it meant back then. The minimum age for females to marry was 12 and boys had to be at least 14. Once a suitable person was found, both families entered negotiations to decide which family would provide for the couple. Once the agreement was made the woman brought a dowry to her new husband’s family.

Marriage was looked at as a contract and some suggest that the giving of engagement rings in ancient Rome may have been used to signal that a contract had been made between the couple and their families. So while many practice some parts of these traditions it is easy to see why other parts have been left along the path of history.

 ***

Some links in this post are affiliate links. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to amazon.com and affiliate sites.

Thanks so much for being part of our success.

 

 Photo credits: wikimedia, wikimedia, Amazon

 

The history of wedding rings leads to Rome

While the origin of wedding rings isn’t one hundred percent certain, based on archeological evidence dating back 3000 years, historians have pointed back to ancient Egypt as the first culture to exchange rings to commemorate marriage. The rings were given by spouses to each other as a symbol of the love between them, but it wasn’t a part of any ceremony. It was a private gift shared between them. However, to find the origins of the tradition of metal wedding rings exchanged today, we look back to the ancient Romans. At that time and in that culture, marriages had to conform to Roman law and were categorized by social class. This included three different categories of weddings: Usus, Coemptio, and Confarreatio. 

Ancient wedding rings didn’t always represent love

 

In plain English, the Usus was marriage for the lowest class. Today, we might compare it to what we call common-law marriage. The next "step up" was the Coemptio which involved purchasing the bride. Historians don’t totally agree on whether this was an actual purchase or a symbolic sale, but that’s what the ring in these marriages represented. Then there was the Confarreatio – the only “legal” marriage and it was reserved for the elite upper class. This marriage was presided over, and the groom presented his bride with a ring. Most of these rings were made of iron or gold which is what led to the tradition of metal wedding rings. Unlike the Egyptian rings which were symbols of love, historians believe the Romans looked at the metal wedding band as a symbol of possession. Thus, the wife belonged to the husband once that ring went on her finger.

Ancient Romans owned two wedding rings

 

As I mentioned, the ancient Roman wedding rings were made of iron or gold. What I didn’t mention is that the wealthy women in ancient Rome actually were presented with two wedding rings, an iron one and a gold one. The first was to be worn at home and thought to represent strength and permanence. The gold ring was worn in public to impress people. Laws actually prohibited those from the lower classes from wearing gold rings, but these laws were somewhat difficult to enforce, because historical evidence shows that even slaves plated their iron rings with gold if they could.

 

Motif of the clasped hands, signified love, betrothal, and marriage

.

 

Laws of ancient Roman marriage

 

Back in ancient Rome, couples had to have connubium which denoted the legal right to get married. Needless to say this was a requirement for marriage and it wasn’t a permission granted to people who were already married, eunuchs, and people who shared certain blood relationships. Parental consent also played a role with the minimum age for marriage set at age 12 for girls and age 14 for boys.

Photo credits: wikimedia.org, The Portable Antiquities Scheme, Walters Art Museum