3 little know facts about ancient Roman weddings

 

I often mention Ancient Rome in relation to the origins of wedding traditions still practiced today in Western cultures. This post takes a look at three practices embedded within those traditions that we no longer include in our own rituals. 

Engagement ring and what it symbolized

Today's tradition of wearing an engagement ring on the fourth finger of the left hand, can be traced back to the Ancient Romans. This finger was believed to have a vein that ran directly to the heart, the Vena Amoris, which means 'vein of love'. Belief in that vein of love brought with it the hope that wearing the ring would encourage love, but legally this piece of wedding jewelry represented that the woman was about to pass from the ownership of her father to her future husband. Therefore, only women wore engagement rings in ancient Rome.

 

Ancient Roman wedding belt and the knot of Hercules

Ancient Roman brides wore a special dress and a veil and even wove flowers in the hair. What made their wedding attire unique is the girdle or belt that they wore. This belt was an essential part of bridal etiquette. By tradition, it was tied by the bride's mother with the knot of Hercules on the morning of her wedding. It represented the bride's purity, and with Hercules being the guardian of married life this strong knot could only be untied by the bride’s new husband on the wedding night. This knot created by two intertwined ropes can be traced back to ancient Egypt where it was used as a healing amulet, but in ancient Greece and ancient Rome where Hercules was known for his strength, it was a strong knot incorporated into a protective girdle worn by brides. Roman lore suggests the knot symbolized the legendary fertility of Hercules and in some way is related to the legendary Girdle of Diana captured from the Amazon Queen Hippolyta.

 

Marriage a negotiated deal

In ancient Rome, the male head of the household (the Paterfamilias) was responsible for finding a good match for all the children in his family. Marriage had to be outside the family. They weren’t allowed to even marry third or fourth cousins. While this sounds like an arranged marriage, one difference is that both the bride and groom had to be consenting adults and they could only be married to one person at a time (there were no divorces). However, what ‘consenting adults’ means today is far different from what it meant back then. The minimum age for females to marry was 12 and boys had to be at least 14. Once a suitable person was found, both families entered negotiations to decide which family would provide for the couple. Once the agreement was made the woman brought a dowry to her new husband’s family.

Marriage was looked at as a contract and some suggest that the giving of engagement rings in ancient Rome may have been used to signal that a contract had been made between the couple and their families. So while many practice some parts of these traditions it is easy to see why other parts have been left along the path of history.

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Origins of Scottish wedding blackening tradition

The Scottish pre-wedding ritual known as blackening practiced in the Highlands, Islands and rural parts of Scotland is a strange wedding tradition. In my book, it is disgusting. The groom and/or bride are publicly taken out and drenched with a wide array of ingredients like slop, molasses, flour, feathers, as well as smelly disgusting things like fish guts and cow dung. I’ve read that this practice as it is done today is actually a corrupted variation of an old foot washing/hair washing tradition when the purpose of the blackening was to ensure the groom was dirty before the washing. How could today's blackening tradition be related to foot washing?

 

Blackening foot washing

I did some digging and found answers in “A Highland Wedding in Bygone Days” published in The Celtic Magazine, Vol. 13., 1888. The origins of the blackening tradition can be traced to a foot washing custom. In this case, the foot washing took place the night before the wedding and involved the groom. He and his friends gathered at his house using the guise of washing his feet for his wedding. Just like many bachelor parties today, a good deal of practical joking took place. One of these jokes included using soot, dirt, and other blackening agents mixed with the water and rubbed on the feet and even on the face of the bridegroom.

If the groom was fortunate enough to escape, his friends chased him down, and if he was lucky enough to find a good hiding place and eluded them, it was considered a good omen of future prosperity. When his friends gave up looking for him, he spent the rest of the night dancing.

Wedding shoes custom

On the Monday night after the first public announcement of their impending marriage the young couple secretly visited the shoemaker for the marriage shoes. The groom paid for both pairs. (In Greece it is still tradition for the groom to buy the bride’s shoes). They were delivered the morning of the wedding with money tucked inside, and if the groom delivered the shoes himself, he took the time to put them on her feet. However, it was perfectly acceptable for someone else to deliver the shoes. 

As for the money in the shoes, this differs from the longstanding tradition of placing a lucky Sixpence in the bride’s shoe because that is done by the bride’s father as a symbol of prosperity, love and unity. However, there is another Scottish wedding tradition in which the groom popped a silver coin under his left foot. I don’t have any more info on what money the groom slipped into her shoe or why, but if I learn more, I’ll be sure to update this section.

Other Scottish wedding superstitions

As long as we are looking back at the history of Scottish wedding traditions/superstitions, here are a few lesser-known wedding superstitions once practiced in Scotland:

• Unlucky to get married in May

• Tuesdays and Thursdays were favored for weddings because the rest of the days were thought to be unlucky.

• A day during the waxing moon was always preferred.

• When the bride entered her new house for the first time she had to be careful to step over the threshold if she would be lucky.

• A cake of bread and a cheese, both of which had been previously either broken or cut into pieces, were placed on a plate and thrown over the bride’s had as she entered the door. If the plate broke it was a good omen as to having a son as heir. 

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Photo credits: Leanne Townsend